Favorite sayings

[Lee in Quartzsite]

Life is like a roll of toilet paper; the closer you get to the end, the faster it goes.

or

Life is a sexually transmitted disease that is alway fatal.

 

[snubbyfan]

[ame]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uWzrIX5l0vc[/ame]

 

[oneounceload]

"Bless her heart"....................

 

[3dots]

Drier'na maiden's tit.
Slicker'na third grader's sleeve.

 

[rags]

"It's your story, tell it how you want."

 

[ben_g1]

War stories and fairy tales are the same. Only difference,

Fairy Tales start out: Once upon a time.

War stories start out: No S--- there I was.

Heard this in a VFW

 

[Bullseye 2620]

"Better make it four ... I don't think I can eat eight."

According to the The Yale Book Of Quotations, Yogi Berra reportedly said this when he was asked whether he wanted a pizza pie split into four or eight pieces.

"I got the shotgun. You got the briefcase. It's all in the game though, right?"

Stick-up artist Omar Little to attorney Morrie Levy in The Wire.

 

[Model 19 6"]

Had an old friend tell me Depends don't leave home without them

 

[Tradewind36]

And my latest favorite....

Life is like toilet paper, you're either on a roll or you're taking s**t from some a-hole.

 

[raljr1]

Hotter than a $2 pistol.

Robert

 

[daniel lawecki]

She has a face only mother could love. If fools could fly this place would be a airport. clean up a little. A boss is like a diaper always on your butt and usually full of poop.

 

[britbike1]

Teenagers are gods punishment for enjoying sex.

 

[doublesharp]

don't worry about the mule, just load the wagon.

 

[Broke Hoss]

Eat, pee & sleep every chance you get; don't know when your next chance'll come along.

 

[steelslaver]

Excuses are like butts, everyone has one and they all stink.

Wouldn't give ya 50 cents for a boxcar full.

His clutches are slipping.

Sharp as a sledge hammer.

Hit it hard, it'll go easy.

He's not going to figure out cold fusion.

All motor, no steering wheel.

Raining like a cow pissin on a flat rock.

She has a great personality.

What were his parents thinking?

He's a good excuse to buy toilet paper.

Brain designed by Hoover

If you make it idiot proof, they will just figure out a better idiot.

He is an excellent observer.

You can quit digging now son.

I was doing this before you were a twinkle in your daddy's eye.

Put a valve on it. (shut up)

I can do anything I want, one time.

I am the only normal one.

 

[motom]

You can't be lost if you don't care where you're at.

Born ignorant and went down hill.

Big as an ox and almost as smart.