Funeral expense question

[Hunter8282]

When my FIL passed last summer, my MIL decided to do an open casket ceremony with a "rented" casket. Basically you buy the casket liner and "rent" the coffin. After the ceremony he and the liner were cremated. A little while later, we got the ashes back in small black box. We used a post hole digger and buried the ashes in his cemetery plot (no vault required). My MIL has requested the same be done for her.

Myself I think I am going to go the route of donation for science/research.

 

[wbraswell]

Caj, you want mustard on that sandwich? Maybe some cheese? If I were Cajun, I'd get the whole muffaletta treatment.

 

[NYlakesider]

I'm a little late but I will now jump in. My father and 5 of his brothers were funeral directors so I have seen/heard a bit about the business.

Like others have said vaults are there not so much as to try to preserve the body, but for ensuring sink holes do not appear at the grave sites. As most cemeteries are mowed by machines now, mostly big machines it's a safety factor for the operators and of course the people that come to honor their loved ones. There are also backhoe's to do the digging, though I know of a few cemeteries that still do it by hand.

Going out hunting I have walked across many 100-200 year old plots that were basically in the backyards close by to where the people lived many decades back, many of those the ground is well depressed where the graves were.

In a cemetery about 70 miles from where I now live it is well known that the lower plots have hardly any coffins/ bodies in the ground now do to the frequent flooding of the Schoharie Creek in the past which is a border of the cemetery.

Cemetery is located in Esperance NY, I have seen old pictures of coffins floating down the raging Schoharie. To look now you would not know as there are tomb stones to mark the spots, but many of us know the truth. Yes I have/had relatives there, I still have a few there that are located in the higher area but from my great grandparents(mother's side) and their kin they pardon the pun took their final wild water ride.

Needless to say heavy vaults are now required in that place.

 

[Cherokee Slim]

Funerals are for the living, the dead don't care!

I agree. I have donated my body to the Body Farm at UTK.
Cherokee Slim

 

[CAJUNLAWYER]

I guess my oldest has his instructions. "Just dispose of the body". But of course he won't, he'll need to give in to the wishes of others. They probably already have a plan to disregard my wishes. I certainly don't want a visitation with everyone walking past and saying how lifelike I look. Because I won't, I'll be dead.

So I'll want the Edward Abbey plan. Everyone in the stupid Federal Government was sure his followers/friends were going to plant him in Arches National Park. A big place, with remote area's they'd never find him. And of course his friends knew where to put him, and how to fake out the Feds.

My wish is to be dumped out in Hells Revenge, also a large and barren area just east of Moab, UT. What he'll do is illegal as all get out, He'll just dump my remains on a petrified sand dune and leave. Sure, they won't all blow away. And if the local coroner finds them, or someone does and turns my ashes and solid parts in, they can just investigate till hell freezes over. I'll be dead and I won't care.

Dead is like stupid either way YOU don't know-it is just apparent to others.

 

[vigil617]

So, all this talk of sunken graves got me to thinking:

Q: What did the guy in the 200 year old grave say?

A: I'm depressed.

 

[BillK01]

My dad keeps telling me to call Penn Power when he dies and have em bore a hole in the ground with their auger and drop him in headfirst!

I know a funeral director and around here the going rate for a hole is $800 each - not sure on if they stack you here or not. I'll ask him next time. I hope I go first if that's the case here as I like it "on the bottom" better anyways. Less work...

 

[vigil617]

My dad keeps telling me to call Penn Power when he dies and have em bore a hole in the ground with their auger and drop him in headfirst!

I know a funeral director and around here the going rate for a hole is $800 each - not sure on if they stack you here or not. I'll ask him next time. I hope I go first if that's the case here as I like it "on the bottom" better anyways. Less work...

But Bill you forget about the two layers of concrete and the two "inner liners" as well. Sounds like a lot of work to me!

 

[Bullet Bob]

If you can find one in your state, there are also "green" or "natural" burial grounds in some places these days. Just a shroud, no embalming, casket, or vault.

It appeals to me.

 

[mtgianni]

You're a lawyer. Start the negotiations at $2,500 and let them counter.

They don't need his business as bad as we all will need theirs. Their business is the definition of being able to wait it out.

 

[KKECK5]

THE grave liners are a law in Massachusetts. The reason given is health laws, to stop people from re-using the grave once the present coffins fall apart. The cement top to the liner is not required by law, but an added option.

 

[imashooter2]

They don't need his business as bad as we all will need theirs. Their business is the definition of being able to wait it out.

I don't see how I need their business at all. I'm dead. For all I care, the cats can eat me.

Meanwhile they want my money. Negotiate best price just like any other commodity or service.

 

[WR Moore]

This thread brought back memories of a funeral 40 odd years ago. It's a long involved story, I'll cut to the finale.

After the graveside remarks at the country church graveyard and the lowering of the coffin, I was standing around talking to several people. A gent walked up to me with a shovel and asked if I was a pall bearer. When I admitted I was, he then handed me the shovel. Thinking this was a josh the city boy moment, I looked at my fellow pall bearers and found them shedding jackets, shirts and ties while their wives held their shovels. In short, the pall bearers filled in the grave after the vault was set. Seems it was the done thing in those parts.

I've avoided being a pall bearer at country funerals ever since.

 

[David harleyson]

Years ago I was given the business card of a Funeral Director and at the bottom it stated "We are the last ones to let you down"
Apologies form the Hi-Jack.

What about the funeral director whose motto was "you stab em, we slab em".

 

[carpriver]

In February of 2009 I had to bury my youngest son. He didn't have any life insurance. We had to pay for the funeral. We chose cremation, He was taken from the hospital to the crematorium. We had a memorial service at the funeral home. The cost was about $3000. We have his ashes and we will all be left on the shore of Lake Superior.

 

[vigil617]

In February of 2009 I had to bury my youngest son. He didn't have any life insurance. We had to pay for the funeral. We chose cremation, He was taken from the hospital to the crematorium. We had a memorial service at the funeral home. The cost was about $3000. We have his ashes and we will all be left on the shore of Lake Superior.

Carp, I "liked" this because you'll all be together.

Cannot imagine what it would be like to bury a son. My sincerest condolences to you and your family.

I, too, plan to be cremated. My wife is hesitant, but I have told her these are my wishes. She just wants us to be together after we are gone, so I told her I no longer want to be scattered at sea, but next to her -- wherever we wind up.

You know, death is a natural part of life, and we all will face it. At the same time, there is a sense that we will predecease our children, and that will be the natural order of things. That's not necessarily so, though, and I know you know that better than anyone. Again, my condolences....

 

[JSR III]

Caj, we are gonna bury you face down in a shallow grave. This way there will be a place to park a bicycle.

 

[PA Reb]

Here's a good reason for concrete liners..

This was posted on a fishing forum recently, caught near on old Indian burial ground that has since been flooded over for a lake.

That's definitely not human - looks more like an ape of some sort. Where is this lake? If the picture is real, its interesting!

 

[RYNO]

That's definitely not human - looks more like an ape of some sort. Where is this lake? If the picture is real, its interesting!

I believe it's from Lake Sharpe S.D. on the Missouri River system.

 

[ky wonder]

I guess I am lucky

here we have a family/community cemetery that we have been burying our ancestors in for the last 200 years

I can walk my grandkids back through the family history from two sides in this cemetery for many generations

I recently marked my brother and my burial sites to reserve our spots,

here we bury folks side by side, there is never a fee for a plot and we set up a table on the cemetery grounds during the memorial day weekend and accept donations for upkeep and get to visit with long lost friends and family members, and

if they donate that's good if they don't we are still going to keep the place up, space is getting limited, and we will have to deed some more ground to the cemetery before we pass.

through the last 70 years the graves have moved from family burials to most everyone using undertakers to arrange the burials

I believe like another responder that the water table in LA is the probable reason for the concrete vaults, because coffins will float out of the ground under flood conditions

we request fiberglass vaults for anything except stainless steel coffins again to help with the grave settling, but we do plant them 6' deep