And the bold and underlined portion therein lies the difference between you and the OP...She was the one to seek you out, not the other way around.
Ghosts of Relationships Past
- Thread starter Ματθιας
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And the bold and underlined portion therein lies the difference between you and the OP...She was the one to seek you out, not the other way around.
Ματθιας;141986946 said:
I Got married too young and both being young and stupid took its toll and after 7 years we divorced. Both of us remarried and had kids. 6 months ago I ran into her. We had not seen each other for 35 years which would almost be impossible since we have lived less than 20 miles apart in small adjacent towns the entire time. We both remarried and our kids went to school together! I am divorced and she’s a widow. After chatting for a few, she called me a few days later and it was like we never were apart in so many ways. We talked for 3 hours on the phone. Now we are back together and it’s probably the best thing that ever happened to both of us. Everything is so comfortable and not being self centered kids has made me happier than I’ve been in many years. My advice is CONTACT HER. What have you got to lose and so much to gain.
I don’t have this problem.
All of my old girlfriends are dead.
I am blessed to have my true love and best friend still sharing life with me for the last 52 years.
She called me a “turd” because I didn’t ask her to dance before I even knew her name.
It’s been downhill ever since.
All of mine grew…a bunch …..
This is a girl I met when we were in 3rd grade together. We started dating in high school, but went to different colleges.
She returned to Phoenix in my senior year in college and we began dating again.
I would have given my life for her. She was the most beautiful and charming girl I had ever met.
Here is a picture of her that I took on a stroll through a park. We were both 22 that year.
We have been married for 63 years this August. Never regretted it.
John
She returned to Phoenix in my senior year in college and we began dating again.
I would have given my life for her. She was the most beautiful and charming girl I had ever met.
Here is a picture of her that I took on a stroll through a park. We were both 22 that year.
We have been married for 63 years this August. Never regretted it.
John
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Jack Flash
Member
Reading the initial post, all I could say was "Good Grief!"
I will not expound any further except to quote Judge Mathis on the subject of how women feel after a break up:
"When they're done, they're done Jack."
I will not expound any further except to quote Judge Mathis on the subject of how women feel after a break up:
"When they're done, they're done Jack."
Re needy and clingy, or being a weirdo, it's not like the OP's been stalking her for 30 years. Say he reconnects, and she says not interested, and he leaves it at that. Where's the harm?
And, could be, she has been through relationships in which no one was needy and clingy, and after 30 years on the odometer she'd like a little cling and need in a relationship.
(My sister once remarked, not unkindly, of my wife and me that we are like velcro. We are always together. We've always been this way. Needy and clingy, I suppose, compared to some/most couples, but, hey! It works for us.)
As I said, could be, probably likely, the OP will be disappointed or embarrassed, but is that such a hard thing to bear? And the gal, even if she is still not interested, rather than being unhappy at the intrusion, will maybe get a small morale boost thinking, "After all these years, he still thinks of me!" People, men and women, like to be liked.
My opinion is that too often in life we don't take chances, risks, for fear of failure, or out of worry about what others will think of us.
My view is take the risk. So what if you fall flat on your face occasionally? We're all gonna be gone soon enough and shortly thereafter no one, except a rapidly dwindling few, is even gonna remember our names..
So if there's a chance at a romance in your life that might make you happy, go for it.
And posts 2, 19 and 23 show that a reconnection can work out.
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Abbynormal
Member
I know how one thinks about a lost lover,
but I've always held to the theory of
"why did we break up in the first place".
I've gotten together with a couple exes.
One is still one of the best friends
I've ever had and the other, well, lets say let it be.
I've had a couple of "getting back together"
events and while powerful, the feeling doesn't
last long enuf.
but I've always held to the theory of
"why did we break up in the first place".
I've gotten together with a couple exes.
One is still one of the best friends
I've ever had and the other, well, lets say let it be.
I've had a couple of "getting back together"
events and while powerful, the feeling doesn't
last long enuf.
31FordA
Member
When I was in my 20’s there was a beautiful and clever young lady who worked in my office. We got along really well, and there was a mutual interest in each other, but working in the same office meant we stayed work friends. Then she left the office for the private sector. After 18 months I managed to really foul up our relationship. One day she got really mad at me, which in retrospect she had more than every right to, and we just stopped talking to each other.
Twenty years later a colleague stops at my desk and tells me my old acquaintance is back in the court house. Although I was very hesitant to see her again, I finally stopped by her office. To my surprise she did not throw a stapler or other heavy object at me. We talked for a bit, catching up on the last 20 years. She is happily married and has a nice family, which she deserves. To look at her you would never know 20 years had gone by, she’s still a stunner. I took the opportunity to apologize to her for being a jerk all those years ago, and we parted on good terms.
I’m glad I saw her again, and had a chance to give her the apology that was 20 years overdue. If she wasn’t married would I have tried starting over? No, probably not. All those years left us with much less in common than when we were in our 20’s.
Twenty years later a colleague stops at my desk and tells me my old acquaintance is back in the court house. Although I was very hesitant to see her again, I finally stopped by her office. To my surprise she did not throw a stapler or other heavy object at me. We talked for a bit, catching up on the last 20 years. She is happily married and has a nice family, which she deserves. To look at her you would never know 20 years had gone by, she’s still a stunner. I took the opportunity to apologize to her for being a jerk all those years ago, and we parted on good terms.
I’m glad I saw her again, and had a chance to give her the apology that was 20 years overdue. If she wasn’t married would I have tried starting over? No, probably not. All those years left us with much less in common than when we were in our 20’s.
For all the folks who think/assume that folks, (like me) haven't changed after decades life are are still the same, are you all still the same person or have you grown, learned from the mistakes and experience?
I'll tell you I'm not the same person I was. I'm not the 115# skinny kid I was then. I learned a tiny bit in all aspects of life, and I'd like to think I'm not quite the fool I was then. Although, I probably still am.
Again, are any of you all the same person you were in your 20s? Did you all mellow out or become angry and bitter with age? <---- Rhetorical question.
I know that, I'll call her "Jen", is not the same person I last talked to face to face in the summer of '99. I'm not, either.
I'll tell you I'm not the same person I was. I'm not the 115# skinny kid I was then. I learned a tiny bit in all aspects of life, and I'd like to think I'm not quite the fool I was then. Although, I probably still am.
Again, are any of you all the same person you were in your 20s? Did you all mellow out or become angry and bitter with age? <---- Rhetorical question.
I know that, I'll call her "Jen", is not the same person I last talked to face to face in the summer of '99. I'm not, either.
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Well.....We were both 19 when we got married...........51 years in November. I hope she lives to be a 100.
Very important rule of both shooting and insults.
Know your target.
I moved to Florida when I was 26. Most of my "old flames" stayed there. At 70 they won't look like I remember them. Better I remember them "when." Joe
notsofast
Member
I’ve had a few get back togethers, my midlife crisis hit later than midlife. Thinking about it now tells me it’s true; there is no fool like an old fool.
To me the OP's question is about like someone saying "I just saw a very nice condition old Smith M29 for $250, ...do you think I should buy it?" Every minute you wait contacting her that's a lost opportunity for some other guy to snatch her up. The good looking gals with great personalities get snagged really fast!
LVSteve
Member
Well, Laura certainly knew how to dress properly.
Us men can be pretty dense at getting the message, so I guess she was taking no chances. 
I say go for it. If it don't work out how is that worse than meeting someone new and have it not work out? That is basically how all dating and relationships go. Some make it some don't, doesn't really much matter where the starting line is.
You mentioned contacting her thru social media so I'm guessing you have already located her. If so, send a short friendly "hi" to her.
I did find her social media profile. The problem is, aside from forums, my YouTube channel (mainly to follow other channels), and twitter/X (I don't tweet, just follow) I'm not on any other social media, like the one I found her on. So there's that.
I hear both sides of the contact, don't contact discussion. I agree with them. One part of me wants to contact, but the slightly more persuasive side of me says to leave things alone. I'll leave things alone for now. Who knows, I might just say screw it, make an account and attempt contact. Besides, I haven't talked to her in 25+ years, waiting a bit longer isn't going to make much of a difference one way or the other.
It's very interesting to me reading the different perspectives on this subject - especially on a predominately male dominated forum. Again, thank you all for commenting and giving me things to think about!
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2 cents
Since you’re posting here on this site I think you are open to suggestions ….
Do yourself a big favor and research “Red Pill”
Maybe a lot of research
It will serve you well to at least have this perspective as a guy possibly seeking a female companion in 2024 and beyond
Qualifying statement:
This is not a condemnation of women just insight into female psychology
Since you’re posting here on this site I think you are open to suggestions ….
Do yourself a big favor and research “Red Pill”
Maybe a lot of research
It will serve you well to at least have this perspective as a guy possibly seeking a female companion in 2024 and beyond
Qualifying statement:
This is not a condemnation of women just insight into female psychology
I brought this here because I know that there are folks from all over who have lived very different lives, are highly educated and even though I'll probably never meet any of you all in real life, I do value the opinions.
