This has been a great great thread, with some good information to tuck away for reference. Thanks to all for sharing information and insights. The cumulative knowledge and experience which appears here is impressive. Hats offs to all!
I might add that some decent additional experimental data can be found at luckygunner.com. The fellow clearly sets out how he tests loads, and he seems to know how to properly set up ballistic gelatin with clothing barriers. All the major calibers and rounds are there, at least as much as anyone can reasonably expect on a private-funded site. Not the final word, but helpful. (As a biology professor, my professional instincts cause me to always draw on multiple sources for my data, critiquing each one, and drawing my own conclusions.)
For .45 ACP, tested and well-proven loads have gone down as far as 185 grains, and in one case (not so proven nor as accepted) 165 grains. IMHO, in starting out, one should generally stick reasonably close to the bullet weight that the cartridge was designed for, i.e., 230 grains for the .45 ACP. Departing from that figure by 20% or so seems to be generally safe as a rule. Beyond that, I think evidence is needed that the round will function in the arm and also give the desired terminal performance.
I strongly agree with the poster who stated that a major reason for going with the .45 (ACP, or for that matter, Colt) is bullet weight as well as diameter. A shot or two into the pelvic region will literally put a bad guy down, and is a good option if one suspects an attacker is wearing a ballistic vest; in such a situation, bullet mass will be quite helpful in breaking up the pelvis.
But I cannot even begin to imagine trusting a bullet under 150 grains, no less under 100 grains (!) in the .45 if needed in a self-defense situation. Far, far better to just use the 9mm if you want to reduce recoil to the extent you indicate. Instead, you have created a real-life oxymoron, along the lines of jumbo (.45) shrimp (the miniscule bullet mass).
Remington, Federal, Speer, and Winchester all make great loadings for the 45. Some even offer reduced recoil. Why not grab one of them, as you did for your Kimber? Try a couple. I'll bet one will be softer shooting than the others, but still a performer.
By the way, while I love the fact that the .45 is already big without needing to expand, recent years have seen substantial improvements in bullet constuction, and reliable expansion in the face of clothing and other barriers is now more the rule than the exception. Sure, .45 is great; but .60 or .70+ is better, and is part of the design to prevent the dangerous overpenetration common with hardball. The best bullets of today are simply not the bullets of even 2008 or 2011.
My youngest son, who is a street-wise, advanced EMT in a tough city, and has handled many gunshot wound cases, has discussed the issue of caliber, bullet expansion, wounding effects, etc. at length with other EMTs, paramedics, and ER physicians. Curiously, most of them carry and they heavily prefer the 9 mm with hp ammo based on what they have seen, both in patients who were DOA, who died in hospital, or who survived. (My son carries a Shield 9 mm, while I prefer the .45.)
All agreed the serious damage -and stopping power- lies in the camp of expanding bullets. FMJ always seems to require direct hits to the central nervous system to quickly take the fight out of the attacker. Bullet placement was much less critical with hp before incapacitation was achieved. FMJ also was likely leave a few bullets in the body, with the rest punching through -to endanger others. (Hp bullets tended to be found in the body or in the clothing on the exit side.)
Whether +p makes sense is not a point for argument, by the way, but for testing, although I definitely agree +p is over-hyped. All too-often, the gain in performance is marginal -at best- when checked over a chronograph. The better answer is usually a longer barrel and regular pressure ammo.
Or a different cartridge.
First it was +p. Then +p+. As a gunsmith finally remarked to a cop who kept asking if a small frame .38 Special could handle +p+ loads, "Maybe you're really looking for a .357 Magnum?"
Shoot well, stay safe.
Brian