This thread helps me understand the Jerry Springer Show.
HEY I've got clients that do that!!!
- Thread starter CAJUNLAWYER
- Start date
Rick_A
Member
I was tasked to administer such tests for some time in the Marines. In the class the instructor goes over the cheats for everything that can be cheated. Many of my peers were very disappointed that I took no notes on such things.
They also put me in charge of the fat bodies, and was often on "suicide watch" duty often.
I don't know if I was really trusted or hated.
They also put me in charge of the fat bodies, and was often on "suicide watch" duty often.
I don't know if I was really trusted or hated.
jlrhiner
US Veteran
Most of you know I'm retired out of the Boliermakers Union. Before I retired, I taught in our apprenticeship program. We did drug screenings.
Now understand, by the time you got accepted in the program, you have been trying for a minimum of 2 years. (Some as long as 6 years) You've been tested, medically checked and have invested a lot of time and effort
I stand in front of the class. I say "today we will be taking a drug test. It is a nine panel test. You cannot cheat. If you have smoked pot or anything else for the last 30 days, you WILL be caught. You WILL be terminated from the program. No fake weenies, no artificial peepee, no chance. If you are dirty, do not take the test!"
The classes always start out 15 folks. We almost always lost 1/3 at the drug screen. We're talking about a lifelong career, Union wages and protection, retirement, medical/dental. It's unbelievable to me.
Now understand, by the time you got accepted in the program, you have been trying for a minimum of 2 years. (Some as long as 6 years) You've been tested, medically checked and have invested a lot of time and effort
I stand in front of the class. I say "today we will be taking a drug test. It is a nine panel test. You cannot cheat. If you have smoked pot or anything else for the last 30 days, you WILL be caught. You WILL be terminated from the program. No fake weenies, no artificial peepee, no chance. If you are dirty, do not take the test!"
The classes always start out 15 folks. We almost always lost 1/3 at the drug screen. We're talking about a lifelong career, Union wages and protection, retirement, medical/dental. It's unbelievable to me.
There is absolutely no doubt about it...Americans are becoming dumber and dumber!! Look at the people who are being arrested!! Some of this stuff you just can't make up!
And, to make matters even worse, the dumbness of our society is increasing exponentially because these stupid people are breeding like rabbits!!! Ergo, more dumb babies in the gene pool who grow up being dumb and stupid and who follow the dumb example of their dumb parents.
Y'know, you really don't have to take too many animal husbandry classes in college to figure out that you can't breed two jackasses and get a Thoroughbred.
And, to make matters even worse, the dumbness of our society is increasing exponentially because these stupid people are breeding like rabbits!!! Ergo, more dumb babies in the gene pool who grow up being dumb and stupid and who follow the dumb example of their dumb parents.
Y'know, you really don't have to take too many animal husbandry classes in college to figure out that you can't breed two jackasses and get a Thoroughbred.
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A few years ago I was asked to drive the neighbors kid to court hearing for a DWI since he had no license and his Dad had an emergency at work. As we proceeded thru the metal detector the kid emptied his pockets into the plastic bin, as he exited the detector the deputy asked him to face the wall and placed him in cuffs. there in the bin was a baggie of wacky weed. At least it wasn't my kid and I didn't have to drive him home..
Criminal Justice System? I think it should just be the Criminal System. Sometimes it seems the Justice part is missing.
Ever wonder why you can't post the Ten Commandments in a courthouse?
Imagine the shock when criminals, lawyers and politicians, the usual denizens of courthouses would look up and read:
THOUS SHALT NOT LIE
THOU SHALT NOT STEAL
THOU SHALT NOT KILL....etc.
Ever wonder why you can't post the Ten Commandments in a courthouse?
Imagine the shock when criminals, lawyers and politicians, the usual denizens of courthouses would look up and read:
THOUS SHALT NOT LIE
THOU SHALT NOT STEAL
THOU SHALT NOT KILL....etc.
If you rub yourself with hash oil, you can get high by osmosis.
Uhh....a friend told me that.
Uhh....a friend told me that.
Honest, I didn't do it. It must have been in the brownie I got at the deli.
handejector
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handejector
Staff member
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- Messages
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I actually saw that on an episode of "Cops".
Guy is getting frisked.
Cop asks what the big lump in pocket is.
Guy actually said "Dunno, these ain't my pants."
Cop looks a little puzzled and says "Not your pants? How come you're wearin' 'em?"
Guy says "I picked 'em up where I'm stayin'."
Cop laughs, reaches in pocket, pulls out a wad of crack rocks the size of a lemon.
He laughs some more, and says "Partner, I got some bad news for ya...."
I felt sooooooo sorry for the guy.........I mean, like, really, you know- it could happen.
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Oh, I understand the Jerry Springer Show, it's the people who go on there that I don't get.
OP
CAJUNLAWYER
Member
I actually saw that on an episode of "Cops".
Guy is getting frisked.
Cop asks what the big lump in pocket is.
Guy actually said "Dunno, these ain't my pants."
Cop looks a little puzzled and says "Not your pants? How come you're wearin' 'em?"
Guy says "I picked 'em up where I'm stayin'."
Cop laughs, reaches in pocket, pulls out a wad of crack rocks the size of a lemon.
He laughs some more, and says "Partner, I got some bad news for ya...."
I felt sooooooo sorry for the guy.........I mean, like, really, you know- it could happen.
We see the "It's not my pants" defense at least 3-4 times a year
Last guy that tried it went to trial got convicted, then "multi billed" and is doing 60 years.
I once had a felon tell me that the reason he tested positive for cocaine was because while he slept, his girlfriend smoked crack cocaine and kissed him on the mouth (shotgunning); thus causing his positive drug test.
HOUSTON RICK
Member
Not my car, not my house, not my signature, I don't know who titled them in my name, I was just walking by.
Saw the FedEx guy and his trainee come through the metal detector at a federal courthouse a while back. Trainee dumped a bag of weed in the bin and got arrested. As the marshals were leading him off, he asked the FedEx guy "What time tomorrow?"
I actually saw that on an episode of "Cops".
Guy is getting frisked.
Cop asks what the big lump in pocket is.
Guy actually said "Dunno, these ain't my pants."
Cop looks a little puzzled and says "Not your pants? How come you're wearin' 'em?"
Guy says "I picked 'em up where I'm stayin'."
Cop laughs, reaches in pocket, pulls out a wad of crack rocks the size of a lemon.
He laughs some more, and says "Partner, I got some bad news for ya...."
I felt sooooooo sorry for the guy.........I mean, like, really, you know- it could happen.
Over the years I've also had DUI suspects tell me they were too drunk to perform my field sobriety tests. After having just demonstrated a walk and turn for one individual he laughed and said, "officer, I couldn't do that if I was sober."
Thus has happened to me more times than I can count. I'm in a neighborhood, 3AM, a crime has recently occurred and I spot a suspect matching the description of the violator. There isn't another living, breathing, soul for miles, and certainly not within earshot. I say, "Hey man, come here for a minute." He says "Who me?"
My late wife worked as a secretary for probation and parole. We lived in a small town of 10,000 at the time and I knew many of the parolees. It was amazing how many of them after being given every chance world ended up getting locked up over something really stupid. But, mostly it "wasn't their fault" She said most of the parolees where not that smart and I have to agree.
speedyquad
Member
my wife was a paralegal for years. her boss always seemed to be assigned some pretty weird cases. there was one where two "ladies" traded making a sex tape with a large dog for drugs. and yes, my wife watched the video. she almost vomited. there was one guy who got his 14 yr old girlfriend/relative pregnant. he admitted to being the father of the unborn baby, but denied ever having sex with her. he had to defend a lady against stalking or harassing Michael Jordan. it seems #23 hooked up with her in vegas and got her pregnant. but all of the dna tests proved he wasn't the baby daddy. the kid was african american and he was the "only" african american guy she had ever been with.
common sense and intelligence does not come pre-installed in everyone.
common sense and intelligence does not come pre-installed in everyone.
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