How many of these things can you relate too?
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I don't know how I managed to survive for 22 years before Luscious moved in and taught me the "correct" way to put toilet paper on the holder.
My favorite conversation centers on "When will you actually answer the question?":
Me: We have two choices. Arby's or Wendy's. Which do you prefer?
Her: Well, Arby's has good onion rings but Wendy's has better fries, but I didn't like that the last time we ate at Wendy's the service was slow but Arby's is a bit more expensive."
And as far as she is concerned, this is the end of the conversation.
My favorite conversation centers on "When will you actually answer the question?":
Me: We have two choices. Arby's or Wendy's. Which do you prefer?
Her: Well, Arby's has good onion rings but Wendy's has better fries, but I didn't like that the last time we ate at Wendy's the service was slow but Arby's is a bit more expensive."
And as far as she is concerned, this is the end of the conversation.
gregintenn
Member
I don't recall arguing about the direction of utensils placed in the dishwasher, but the rest is spot on.
Do you want fries?
No, I'll eat some of yours.
No, I want my fries. I will get you some.
No, I can't eat an order of fries.
I will get you a small order.
No, it's a waste, I'll eat some of yours.
No you won't.
I don't want any fries.
You sure?
Yes.
You're not going to eat mine?
No!!!!!
Last chance.
Just order already!!!!!
(order placed) mumble,mumble.
Mutter, mutter.
Here's your food hun.
Wait for it.
Can I have a fry?
No, I'll eat some of yours.
No, I want my fries. I will get you some.
No, I can't eat an order of fries.
I will get you a small order.
No, it's a waste, I'll eat some of yours.
No you won't.
I don't want any fries.
You sure?
Yes.
You're not going to eat mine?
No!!!!!
Last chance.
Just order already!!!!!
(order placed) mumble,mumble.
Mutter, mutter.
Here's your food hun.
Wait for it.
Can I have a fry?
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Yes. Argued about every single one, except the toilet paper. It is intuitively obvious to the most casual observer that the paper should dispense toward the front of the roll. How else can you fold the little triangle on the start of a fresh roll, and display itself in a neat A.J. Squared Away manner? 
I would never tell my bride to shut up, though. That's asking for a swift death, right there.
I would never tell my bride to shut up, though. That's asking for a swift death, right there.
I remember mine taking a package of disposable razors out of the grocery cart "You can't have these,I don't like them" I moved out a few weeks later lol.
Maddog 521
Member
When we first got married my wife would say "we only have $38 dollars for groceries this week". We would go through the whole store and then I would tell her "we have $43 dollars worth of groceries in the cart". I'd tell her to pick out $5 worth of items you don't want. She'd get so mad and start going through the items and I'd usually help her. When we checked out the total would come to $39.67 or very close. She'd grumble all the way to the truck.
On October 2nd we will celebrate 43 years of marital bliss.
On October 2nd we will celebrate 43 years of marital bliss.
Alpo
Member
If you are visiting someone, and you use the last of the toilet paper, and you normally put it on THE OTHER WAY from how they do it - do you put a new roll on the way you normally do, or they way they do (because it's their house and that's how they like it), or don't put one on at all, and leave it for them?
Rick_A
Member
Yup. I don't help too much around the house, as she re does everything her way, and/ or complains about the way it's done.
She doesn't like to ask for help and I don't like to ask her for anything so we're always at a bit of an impasse.
She doesn't like to ask for help and I don't like to ask her for anything so we're always at a bit of an impasse.
dcxplant
Member
That's BRILLIANT!
All I have to do is everything the way she doesn't like it, then she'll do it all!
Marital bliss, next stop!!
Grayfox
US Veteran
My wife was Italian. Therefore the only correct response to any disagreement was "Yes, Dear."
You poor married guys! I don't miss having to deal with all that kind of stuff AT ALL. The experts say that a man that is married will live longer, but I'm of the firm opinion that your life will just seem longer.
snowman
Member
An instructor in marriage and family at the seminary I attended had an apt expression for those disagreements: "tremendous trifles". Most have fairly simple solutions; e.g. his and her toothpaste tubes, use different bathrooms(if there is more than one in the house, of course), flip coin to determine what to get on the pizza, etc. Some can make an ordinarily tense situation into a really funny one.
Andy
Andy
You poor married guys! I don't miss having to deal with all that kind of stuff AT ALL. The experts say that a man that is married will live longer, but I'm of the firm opinion that your life will just seem longer.
Women live longer than men because they want to.
Alpo
Member
Are you my daughter posting under an assumed name?
She puts it on WRONG. Most of the time I don't even put it on - works fine sitting on the top of the toilet tank. But when she visits, she will put it on the hanger. BACKWARDS.
I blame her mother.
lrb1200
Member
It's been a long and tiresome road, I had to go through about five of them before I found one that lets me live in peace,
and not have to deal with arguments over useless drivel like the above. And if she starts, she'll soon be number six.
and not have to deal with arguments over useless drivel like the above. And if she starts, she'll soon be number six.
smokindog
Member
My wife and I were both in our forties, neither had married, both had careers with travel, both had homes, .... Two very set in their ways people.
I actually looked for all these little things as we dated
We actually had very few disagreements - TP correct, compatible in the kitchen, shopping, ... ALL the little things checked out.
THAT IS UNTIL I REALIZED I OVER LOOKED CRUELLA, yes, the MIL.
The MIL was up in MO and we got along famously (3-4 times per year). Never in a million years did I see it coming, The MOVE. Once the MIL got into the local area, there was disagreement and chaos ....
As we've all been told, the MIL is the future of the wife, a reflection of her future soul
I actually looked for all these little things as we dated
We actually had very few disagreements - TP correct, compatible in the kitchen, shopping, ... ALL the little things checked out.THAT IS UNTIL I REALIZED I OVER LOOKED CRUELLA, yes, the MIL.
The MIL was up in MO and we got along famously (3-4 times per year). Never in a million years did I see it coming, The MOVE. Once the MIL got into the local area, there was disagreement and chaos ....
As we've all been told, the MIL is the future of the wife, a reflection of her future soul
dereksfl
Member
Men die sooner than women cause we want to!
dereksfl
Member
I told my wife when I die I want come back as her as long as she comes back as me, so she knows what it really feels like!
My mother in law was a sweetheart (whoever heard of such a thing?) my darling wife took after the grandmother that outlived 3 husbands [emoji33]
The old man told me boys don't grow up until they are in their 30s and shouldn't marry before that [emoji1]He was right.
I also have an Italian wife and I tried that.My wife was Italian. Therefore the only correct response to any disagreement was "Yes, Dear."
I'd go "Yes, dear" and feel good about it because I got the last word in and an American Indian getting the last word in with an Italian is just short of miraculous.
That is until one day when she replied with, "Ok, honey," I was thwarted again.
My wife and I were both in our forties, neither had married, both had careers with travel, both had homes, .... Two very set in their ways people.
I actually looked for all these little things as we dated
THAT IS UNTIL I REALIZED I OVER LOOKED CRUELLA, yes, the MIL.
The MIL was up in MO and we got along famously (3-4 times per year). Never in a million years did I see it coming, The MOVE. Once the MIL got into the local area, there was disagreement and chaos ....
As we've all been told, the MIL is the future of the wife, a reflection of her future soul
You know,if you drive a stake through it's heart, cut off its head & bury it face down at a crossroads at midnight on a moonless night, it won't come back. Wait a sec, you were talking about your MIL, not vampires...happy coincidence! Same rules apply!!!
cockerpoodle2
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I believe (probably how I was raised) that toilet paper should come over the top, towards you. It worked fine until we got a (wonderful) Shetland Sheepdog who thought it was hilarious fun to roll all the paper off into a huge pile on the floor. He used both paws and could do it in under a minute. I miss that dog and, for some time, I would put the roll on backwards just to remind myself. RIP Toby.
Buzz (cockerpoodle)
David LaPell
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I can tell you if that woman was my wife I would probably being doing 25 to life without parole. On the other hand my wife does stuff that drives me absolutely bonkers. Like when she asks me for dinner, and I tell her "I don't know" I get "Well that doesn't help." Or her habit of putting stuff in places it is never supposed to go. Like the time I found a box of ammo in a bookshelf. I remember when I bought a magazine at the store I wanted to read. I was helping to bring in the groceries. When I was done, I could not find the magazine. She had put it away in another room under a ton of stuff already because as she put it, it was in the way.
I think one of the real pet peeves I have is when my wife asks for an opinion on something around the house, I give it to her and she says she likes the alternative much better. So why bother asking?
Still if you have been at this game long enough men get their own little paybacks from time to time in the form of Dutch ovens and "forgetting" to use spray in the bathroom before she goes in there. Been married 8 years so far.
I think one of the real pet peeves I have is when my wife asks for an opinion on something around the house, I give it to her and she says she likes the alternative much better. So why bother asking?
Still if you have been at this game long enough men get their own little paybacks from time to time in the form of Dutch ovens and "forgetting" to use spray in the bathroom before she goes in there. Been married 8 years so far.
Don't know if it's a blessing or a curse, mine does her best impression of the Sphinx most of the time. The "What's for dinner" conversation would require water boarding to get an answer before Midnight. It's been 43 years. Seems like only,,,,, 43 years.
Bkreutz
US Veteran
My wife and I have been doing the "what do you want for dinner" (and the "where do you want to go for dinner" variation) thing for 37 years. It has now become a running joke that we both play with equal amounts of amusement. Maybe that's why we're still married.
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