How many of these things can you relate too?

[arjay]

My mother in law was a sweetheart (whoever heard of such a thing?) my darling wife took after the grandmother that outlived 3 husbands [emoji33]

 

[skrazo]

"Now" I understand why my dad used to say: "Son, stay away from girls!" Why didn't I listen?

 

[arjay]

The old man told me boys don't grow up until they are in their 30s and shouldn't marry before that [emoji1]He was right.

 

[snubbyfan]

My wife was Italian. Therefore the only correct response to any disagreement was "Yes, Dear."

I also have an Italian wife and I tried that.
I'd go "Yes, dear" and feel good about it because I got the last word in and an American Indian getting the last word in with an Italian is just short of miraculous.
That is until one day when she replied with, "Ok, honey," I was thwarted again.

 

[timn8er]

My wife and I were both in our forties, neither had married, both had careers with travel, both had homes, .... Two very set in their ways people.

I actually looked for all these little things as we dated We actually had very few disagreements - TP correct, compatible in the kitchen, shopping, ... ALL the little things checked out.

THAT IS UNTIL I REALIZED I OVER LOOKED CRUELLA, yes, the MIL.

The MIL was up in MO and we got along famously (3-4 times per year). Never in a million years did I see it coming, The MOVE. Once the MIL got into the local area, there was disagreement and chaos ....

As we've all been told, the MIL is the future of the wife, a reflection of her future soul

You know,if you drive a stake through it's heart, cut off its head & bury it face down at a crossroads at midnight on a moonless night, it won't come back. Wait a sec, you were talking about your MIL, not vampires...happy coincidence! Same rules apply!!!

 

[cockerpoodle2]

I believe (probably how I was raised) that toilet paper should come over the top, towards you. It worked fine until we got a (wonderful) Shetland Sheepdog who thought it was hilarious fun to roll all the paper off into a huge pile on the floor. He used both paws and could do it in under a minute. I miss that dog and, for some time, I would put the roll on backwards just to remind myself. RIP Toby.
Buzz (cockerpoodle)

 

[David LaPell]

I can tell you if that woman was my wife I would probably being doing 25 to life without parole. On the other hand my wife does stuff that drives me absolutely bonkers. Like when she asks me for dinner, and I tell her "I don't know" I get "Well that doesn't help." Or her habit of putting stuff in places it is never supposed to go. Like the time I found a box of ammo in a bookshelf. I remember when I bought a magazine at the store I wanted to read. I was helping to bring in the groceries. When I was done, I could not find the magazine. She had put it away in another room under a ton of stuff already because as she put it, it was in the way.
I think one of the real pet peeves I have is when my wife asks for an opinion on something around the house, I give it to her and she says she likes the alternative much better. So why bother asking?
Still if you have been at this game long enough men get their own little paybacks from time to time in the form of Dutch ovens and "forgetting" to use spray in the bathroom before she goes in there. Been married 8 years so far.

 

[Donn]

Don't know if it's a blessing or a curse, mine does her best impression of the Sphinx most of the time. The "What's for dinner" conversation would require water boarding to get an answer before Midnight. It's been 43 years. Seems like only,,,,, 43 years.

 

[Bkreutz]

My wife and I have been doing the "what do you want for dinner" (and the "where do you want to go for dinner" variation) thing for 37 years. It has now become a running joke that we both play with equal amounts of amusement. Maybe that's why we're still married.

 

[NE450No2]

I have been married for 32 years. Sometimes it's not about the nail...

 

[CAJUNLAWYER]

If you are visiting someone, and you use the last of the toilet paper, and you normally put it on THE OTHER WAY from how they do it - do you put a new roll on the way you normally do, or they way they do (because it's their house and that's how they like it), or don't put one on at all, and leave it for them?

Why wait until it's at the end of the roll. When visiting and I notice the TP is on wrong I change it as a matter of course.
I also use the guest towels

 

[Alpo]

You da MAN!

 

[hangnoose]

ALL OF THEM

And a whole lot more. They left out the non stop talking during the TV show, & complete silence during the commercials, then asking "what did they just say?" I go out of my way to ask SIMPLE YES/NO questions, and still get the essay type answers. Don't forget the inevitable ? when you are 3 rooms away & have 1 foot out the door.

 

[CAJUNLAWYER]

Do you want to go to (fill in the blank)
If you want to.
**** it.

What do you want for dinner?
Meat loaf brown gravy mashed potatoes and green peas.
I'm not fixing that.
Then why did you ask me?

Where is my (fill in the blank)
Where did you have them last?
If I knew that I wouldn't be asking you where my (fill in the blank) is.

I could go on but y'all get the picture

Hey Sal that word filter works

 

[GWK4667]

And a whole lot more. They left out the non stop talking during the TV show, & complete silence during the commercials, then asking "what did they just say?"

I use the DVR so I don't see commercials very often but when she starts talking I will pause the show - - - she stops talking and I ask what she wants - - - I then get the evil eye.

I then resume show and she starts talking to me again - - - I pause the show or turn the TV off and she will not say a word.

 

[ImprovedModel56Fan]

It is intuitively obvious to the most casual observer that the paper should dispense toward the front of the roll. How else can you fold the little triangle on the start of a fresh roll, and display itself in a neat A.J. Squared Away manner?

You can say that again . . . No, don't bother; I'll just quote it for you. It is even intuitively obvious to a feline observer. I knew a cat once who was so put out by the "owner's" putting the roll on the wrong way, that the cat actually stopped using toilet paper.

 

[skrazo]

I'm repeating this just for the **** of it and checking the filter. "Don't try to understand em', just appreciate em'!"

 

[smokindog]

A friend posted this elsewhere, thought it fit

 

[Krell1]

My wife learned a long time ago not to criticize what I do around the house. I think she realized that if she did, I wouldn't do anything at all. I do a lot of work around the house including laundry, vacuuming, dusting, making the bed as well as numerous repairs and improvements. I do it all my way and if she complains I tell her I'll just stop doing it altogether. Suddenly what I've been doing is OK.

 

[Izzydog]

My wife and I have fought over every one of those, except the toilet paper and silverware Our toilet paper fights are about, not having any in the bathroom. I do all of the dishes, and most of the cleaning. I find it easier to just do it, than listen to her complain about it