How many of these things can you relate too?

[hangnoose]

A COUPLE MORE

Repeating your question back to you. YES that is indeed the question I asked you, now how about an answer in as few words as possible? "ARE YOU SURE?" Well unless the invisible mailman in his invisible truck delivered it in the last 10 seconds since I just checked, then YES! Do you want me to re-check it again?

 

[WardenRoss]

Who is smarter, a married man or a single man?
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A married man, BUT IT'S TOO LATE!

 

[rwsmith]

They missed one.....

The toilet seat should always be down because girls use it when they sit down. Well, how about guys that want it up because they are going to have to pee in it. My sister said she falls in the toilet when she goes in the dark. If you are going to sit down on something in the dark, aren't you going to check it kind of.....automatically???

And yeah. The toilet paper thing caused a psychotic episode. I had never had my honor and the sincerity of my feelings for or against another person gauged by my 'in or out' preferences before.

Not specifically the 'utensil down' thing, but obsessive over caution is pretty much the rule. I can't win this one because ONE time she was right:

We were leaving on a trip and my wife packs everything including the kitchen sink. So the last thing she brings to the car is a fire extinguisher. I object but she says you don't know when you might need it. On the road, I stopped and put oil in the car. The oil dripped down onto the manifold and burst into flames right below the ignition wires. I ran to the back of the car, pulled out the fire extinguisher and neutralized a potentially bad situation. Anyway, you can see how I can't win the over caution argument anymore. I try to make light of it, but inside I seethe.

This reminds me of a Gahan Wilson cartoon. A couple is standing on a city street corner where the guy is breaking open his large caliber double rifle to reload it. There is a huge elephant lying dead on the pavement. The woman says, "Honestly Henry, I'll never chide you for carrying that elephant gun again!"

 

[Alpo]

I believe if I was a woman I would be ashamed to get upset about "you always leave the seat up". That just seems to be saying that I, as a woman, am too stupid to know how to put the seat down.

I know if I go in the bathroom, having to pee, I pick it up. What's the difference in my picking it up and her putting it down?

And "I fall in in the dark"? Why would anyone pee in the dark? That's why they put light switches on the wall. And if someone else is such a light sleeper that turning on the light is going to wake them up, then flushing the toilet certainly will. Does that mean women don't flush?

I can't decide whether women are saying, "I'm too damn stupid to know how to lift the lid", or, "I'm too damn lazy to lift the lid", but if it was me I would not admit it, whichever it was.

 

[blujax01]

Yeah, my wife used to complain because I left the seat up.

So I changed.

Now she complains because I pee all over the seat.

I tell ya' there's just no pleasing some people...

 

[rwsmith]

the difference....

I believe if I was a woman I would be ashamed to get upset about "you always leave the seat up". That just seems to be saying that I, as a woman, am too stupid to know how to put the seat down.

I know if I go in the bathroom, having to pee, I pick it up. What's the difference in my picking it up and her putting it down?

And "I fall in in the dark"? Why would anyone pee in the dark? That's why they put light switches on the wall. And if someone else is such a light sleeper that turning on the light is going to wake them up, then flushing the toilet certainly will. Does that mean women don't flush?

I can't decide whether women are saying, "I'm too damn stupid to know how to lift the lid", or, "I'm too damn lazy to lift the lid", but if it was me I would not admit it, whichever it was.

The difference between men and women as that this is a big deal to them. Along with the toilet paper and folding towels and a bunch of other stuff.