How to Have Calmness in Your Life:

[skrazo]

I am passing this on to you because it definitely works, and we could all use a
little more calmness in our lives. By following simple advice heard on the
Dr. Phil show, you too can find "inner peace". Dr Phil proclaimed, "The way to
achieve inner peace is to finish all the things you have started and have never
finished."

So, I looked around my house to see all the things I started and hadn't finished,
and before leaving the house this morning, I finished off a bottle of White Zinfandel,
a bottle of Bailey's Irish Cream, a package of Oreos, the remainder of my old
Prozac prescription, the rest of the cheesecake, some Doritos, and a box of
chocolates, and a half bottle of scotch.

You have no idea how good I feel right now!

 

[mstem]

God, I need some calmness! First I'm going for the 11 jelly donuts then I'm going for the opened bottle of Jack Daniels, vodka, scotch, tequila, gin & rum. Then my bottle of oxycodone(about 225 left) & valium. If that doesn't make me find calmness nothing will!!!!

Oh, I forgot about the Doritos, Cheese Doodles, Fritos, Fig Newtons, oatmeal cookies & an assortment of Little Debbie snacks. Guess I better was it all down with the 2 liter bottle of Mellow Yellow I opened last night.

 

[cloud]

At first I was scared .I thought you really watched the Dr. Phil show.

 

[ejeli]

I just step into my indoor range, the more the stress the bigger the caliber. Today will be my PC625 and PC1911,,,I'm feeling calmer just thinking about it.
e.

 

[Skootertrash]

I'm in deep doo doo. All I have in my house is a partial can of pork n beans. So much of the inner peace in which you speak of.

 

[williamlayton]

Weed used to work wonders.
Blessings

 

[Watchdog]

Weed used to work wonders.

Still does...and in ways we never dreamed of back in the day.

 

[timn8er]

"You have no idea how good I feel right now! " Skrazo

Well, I tell you what...post back in about two hours, & if you haven't blown up(in more ways than one!) I will adopt this regimen of which you speak!

 

[Roadtrash]

Right now I have country music from the 70's and 80's playing, a cool beverage on the table in front of me and a good cigar in my hand. It's 78 degrees outside and I have all the windows open. It don't get much better than this.

 

[billwill]

I'm in deep doo doo. All I have in my house is a partial can of pork n beans. So much of the inner peace in which you speak of.

Don't worry....soon you will be spreading that inner peace throughout the cosmos

 

[jackvs1]

After the initial sentence in your remedy about finishing what I started; I thought about finishing up the fall raking, cleaning the garage then I saw the rest of the post; just had a bourbon but I would get in big trouble if I finished that.

 

[Chuck24]

How to have peace

Shoot everything that pisses you off.

 

[bentcam]

Shoot everything that pisses you off.

have a bad day chuck?

 

[shouldazagged]

As a kid I learned a technique to attain peace, but they told me it would make me go blind.

Now I figure the most effective way would be to croak in some embarrassing way the family would have a hard time explaining. Killed by an exploding fortune cookie, or guillotined in a mini-blind.

 

[don5]

I just got back from the rest room and you guys can't believe how much "inner peace" I have right now. Or maybe you can...



What? Somebody was going to say it. Just sayin...

 

[pawngal]

As a kid I learned a technique to attain peace, but they told me it would make me go blind.

Now I figure the most effective way would be to croak in some embarrassing way the family would have a hard time explaining. Killed by an exploding fortune cookie, or guillotined in a mini-blind.

Most embarrassing? Being shot by a jealous husband (or wife)

 

[Wyatt Burp]

There's a line everyone repeats in the Tom Selleck movie "Crossfire Trail". Wilford Brimley first tells it to a young guy shoeing a horse eratlcally. He said, "Take your time. You'll come out with a more harmonious outcome." So one morning I was fixing a fence in the back yard, working impatiently. So I stopped, looked at the horse looking back at me over the fence and realized it was a beatiful morning. I then said to myself about the fence, "Take your time. You'll get a more harmonious outcome." So I got into a slow rhythm and made it fun.

 

[mstem]

Most embarrassing? Being shot by a jealous husband (or wife)

By a jealous husband when I'm 95 going out his 25 y/o wife's bedroom window with my clothes in my hand.

 

[finesse_r]

I anticipate many millennium of calmness once I am dead and gone. Until then I want a little excitement in what is left of my life. Calmness is for the dead and those that think they are dead. Action, reaction, motion, and excitement are what make life worth living.

Calmness is what they do to crazy people in institutions. They drug them into calmness. Calmness is a form of death. Give me fast cars, fast horses, and even faster women, and include plenty of blinking neon lights. Calmness is a nap before going to bed. I prefer Vegas on a lively Saturday night.

 

[mg357]

I achieve calmness in my life through prayer, playing with the dog,writing, and visiting the forum.