I need a little advice

[frog289]

my daughter has blessed me with 5 grandkids I have been watching them for a week so she can go to school and her husban is working I am closer to her husban than my 2 boys good luck

 

[JJEH]

What would you say?

Well, how old are they? Did you do a background check on him? Drug test? Did he provide at least 3 references to you?

I don't know how I would react if my daughter wants to marry. But you know... there is no guarantee at all! It can work, but it also can crash after a couple years of marriage...

But after all, we should trust our kids in making such a decision. It's important to them

 

[novalty]

Well when he does ask, tell him you want to go target shooting with him first. Buy a bleeding zombie target, once you are done shooting, take out a shovel and bury the target. When done, just say. "See how easy that was."

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[MDGasman]

Remember too that it's not just about you. They've been dating for a few years, your daughter should know him pretty well by now; why not make the first move and talk to her about her feelings towards marrying him. That should help you determine your reply IF he asks.

 

[wbraswell]

Yeah, what they said. Just don't scare him off.

 

[CAJUNLAWYER]

My wife and I dated 9 years before I married her. Called her Dad and asked to come over to the house one night. Found out later that he was a total nervous wreck the rest of the day cause he pretty much knew what I was coming over to ask. (I was pretty nervous too )
We sat in the kitchen and it went well-he cried,I cried, he went to get his wife, she cried, and then I went to my GF's house picked her up and brought her back to her parents and then they all cried again.
I got kidded for years by my brothers in law because of the black streaks on the tile from my shoe soles rubbing the floor I was so nervous. That was the last thing I had to do for the wedding until I said "I do"
Will be 29 years this fall.
Eric's advise is spot on.

 

[Frizzman]

I think that if the guy is willing to marry her and bothers to ask you for permission, then he can't be too bad compared to many who just want to shack up and would tell you to drop dead if you didn't approve. I know that my daughter was raised with good values and character and will not settle for less in a mate. I would make it clear that if he ever abused her, he better hope I'm dead. Of course, I taught her the use of weapons and how to defend herself and think she wouldn't allow herself to be a victim.

 

[Fishslayer]

My wife and I dated 9 years before I married her. Called her Dad and asked to come over to the house one night. Found out later that he was a total nervous wreck the rest of the day cause he pretty much knew what I was coming over to ask.

Sure he wasn't nervous because a lawyer was coming to his house? I would be, and I don't even have a daughter!

 

[kraigwy]

My Grandfather would make sure his daughters would have their boyfriends come early. She was to take her time getting ready. My Grandfather would set on the porch, had the boy a piece of wood and they would wittle.

If the Boy tried to make some thing with the wood, he got to take the daughter out. If he just made chips, he was sent on his way.

Its a sign if the guy was going to make anything of his life or not.

 

[charlie sherrill]

Future SIL came over and said "I think your daughter's pregnant." I said "whatcha gonna do?" He said "Is it OK if we get married?" I said "Beer's in the fridge, I been wanting some grandchildren." That was nine years and two beautiful granddaughter ago.

 

[CAJUNLAWYER]

Sure he wasn't nervous because a lawyer was coming to his house? I would be, and I don't even have a daughter!

He was a lawyer and at the time both his son, his daughter and I were all lawyers-he knew the drill

 

[Gasman1972]

This is easy: In house pre-marital counseling, you are the counselor.

Run them through the mill, open their eyes, teach them.

If/when he does ask for her hand, don't see him as the enemy...see him as your son.