"If you pass this e-mail on to 'x' number of people..."

[Andy Griffith]

I have just got to vent on this one because this is so senseless that it makes my blood boil!

I am certain that we all have a friend that forwards some kind of little email that is a "FW" of the most useless garbage and junk that just fills your inbox for no good reason whatsoever!

I KNOW that no one here does this, but I have friends that think that is all that e-mail is good for doing. Usually, the first time, I email them back saying that I delete the emails that they send me like this and never read them for any reason, and please send me no more! If that doesn't work, I give them a call and ask them why do you send out senseless junk that may contain a virus or spyware? The third time I threaten them with chiggers and fleas from the hairs of a thousand camels- which usually works.

Anyway, I had to vent- I got three of these styles of emails this morning.

Is there a technical name for these type of junk e-mails besides "spam." I hate calling them that, because I occasionally but rarely like a little bit of Spam on a sandwich.
Homemade corned beef is better, though.

 

[2Loud4You]

I had a cousin send me the Microsoft email about Bill Gates paying you to forward the email. You'd think after all these years people would know by now. Thankfully I don't get many emails like that and I sure as hell don't pass them down the line.

 

[41collector]

I had over 20 from one guy last night and a couple more from some one else.

I've sent links to Snopes articles about most of them being false. Also, that all they do is bog down Al Gore's internet. They still send them.

I've added a couple of folks to my junk email filter and now I don't get anything from them. No big loss.

 

[S-W4EVER]

I am convinced that the internet is clogged with crap like this... the 21st century version of a chain letter.

 

[Amici]

Originally posted by S-W4EVER:
I am convinced that the internet is clogged with crap like this... the 21st century version of a chain letter.

Yep - only MORE so. Real chain letters take work; forwarding an e-mail is effortless, matching the intellectual rigor of those who do it.

I keep getting crap like that from relatives. No matter HOW many times I debunk their drivel with the link to Snopes - and the admonition that they actually USE it - they still mindlessly spread lies and idiocy.

There is a class of internet users who are incapable of distinguishing information from nonsense and who think that hitting "FORWARD ALL" constitutes communication. They just can't be helped.

 

[rburg]

I've got this idea...... You know how these turn out...

Anyway, I think every email should cost the sender 3 cents. Just like first class mail did back in the 1950s. Of course the mon-mon should come from your account with your ISP. And the senders ISP would get to keep one cent as profit. For the receivers ISP to even receive the mail, it would have to be prepaid and they'd get to keep 1 cent for taking it in. And then the person who's lucky account was spammed would get a cent, too.

It would mean if I got 30 Viagra spam emails, and 30 notifying me of bank foreclosures today, I'd rack up $.60. Not bad. Better still, I could use it to send the latest dirty pictures to Shugart and Charlie!

It'd be a win-win.

 

[CAJUNLAWYER]

Originally posted by rburg:
I've got this idea...... You know how these turn out...

Anyway, I think every email should cost the sender 3 cents. Just like first class mail did back in the 1950s. Of course the mon-mon should come from your account with your ISP. And the senders ISP would get to keep one cent as profit. For the receivers ISP to even receive the mail, it would have to be prepaid and they'd get to keep 1 cent for taking it in. And then the person who's lucky account was spammed would get a cent, too.

It would mean if I got 30 Viagra spam emails, and 30 notifying me of bank foreclosures today, I'd rack up $.60. Not bad. Better still, I could use it to send the latest dirty pictures to Shugart and Charlie!

It'd be a win-win.

I'm on your poop list????

 

[BarbC]

There is a class of internet users who are incapable of distinguishing information from nonsense and who think that hitting "FORWARD ALL" constitutes communication.

I hate having to dig through 6 layers of "forward" email addresses to get to the drivel.

If you feel something is really worth forwarding on, at least have the decency to eradicate the effluvia.

 

[feralmerril]

Everybody must get this crap! My own 12 year old grandaughter and 3 or 4 acquaintants are good at it. With my grandaughter it usualy is that heart tugging stuff, and I am doing great harm if I break the chain! Even right here someone occasionaly posts stuff I have recieved months ago!

 

[Wheelgunner840]

If you forward this thread to 10 people in the next 10 minutes, you will receive a surprise phone call that will tell you that you have won money!!! Really! I have a friend of my aunts friend's uncle who's brother-in-laws ex-wifes fathers nephew just got a check for $25.000!!!

WG840

 

[bmhiii]

I hate having to dig through 6 layers of "forward" email addresses to get to the drivel.

If you feel something is really worth forwarding on, at least have the decency to eradicate the effluvia.

And the downside to this is that whatever person sends the emails with all addresses shown, gives everybody's email address to others. If you forward an email to this person, you can bet your email addy will be sent to others.

 

[jadek]

Can you spell DELETE?????? I had one fellow sending all that crap and finally just hit reply to any emails I got from him.. He got the message and doesn't bother me with the stuff any more. And as always the delete peg ALWAYS works...

 

[rburg]

Originally posted by CAJUNLAWYER:
I'm on your poop list????

I was trying to keep your name out of the mud!

But no, you haven't missed anything I've passed along.

 

[CAJUNLAWYER]

Originally posted by rburg:

Originally posted by CAJUNLAWYER:
I'm on your poop list????

I was trying to keep your name out of the mud!

But no, you haven't missed anything I've passed along.

Bueno

 

[ChinaSeaSailor]

llllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll

 

[hangtree]

ChinaSeaSailor, that's better than the one I came up with, tho it did finally get the kinfolk to back off with the dumb emails. And I also made some a little upset with me.

Here's mine;

You must count from 10,000,000 backwards to 1.
You have exactly 1 minute to get it done.
If you don't, your nose will begin draining and will continue to drain until all the snot is gone. When that happens, your brain will begin to drain out through your nose until your skull collapses.
You can avoid the brain leakage if you send this email to 12,364 other people in less than 45 seconds.

Do not send this back to the person who send it to you.

CAUTION: Do not break the chain.

 

[morsecode]

My own mother was sending me this junk. Ok, she's 140 and lives in Florida...I get it...lots of idle time on her hands. I gently asked if she would knock it off, and explained the curses of internet viruses and other evils. That worked for a while. Then it started up again. Mostly novenas, Italian recipes, links for reduced fare vacations...links to just about anything advertised as "huge savings"

Finally I just blocked her email address altogether. When we talk on the phone and she asks if I got the link to the photo of the bagel with an image of the Pope on it I tell her yes...in fact, I saved it as a desktop background

 

[zoom6zoom]

I made some people mad but it cut down on junk!!!!!

Maybe, but at least two of them forwarded it to someone who forwarded it to someone who forwarded it to me.

 

[BarbC]

This one is my favorite:

PLEASE HELP

My name is Billy Evans. I am a very sick little boy. My mother is typing this for me, because I can't. She is crying. The reason she is so sad is because I'm so sick. I was born without a body. It doesn't hurt, except when I try to breathe.

The doctors gave me an artificial body. It is a burlap bag filled with leaves. The doctors said that was the best they could do on account of us having no money or insurance.

I would like to have a body transplant, but we need more money. Mommy doesn't work because she said nobody hires crying people. I said, "Don't cry, Mommy," and she hugged my burlap bag. Mommy always gives me hugs, even though she's allergic to burlap and it makes her sneeze and chafes her real bad.

I hope you will help me. You can help me if you forward this email to everyone you know.

Forward it to people you don't know, too. Dr. Johansen said that for every person you forward this email to, Bill Gates will team up with Disney World and send a nickel to NASA. With that funding, NASA will collect prayers from school children all over America and have the astronauts take them up into space so that the angels can hear them better. Then they will come back to earth and go to the Pope, and he will take up a collection in church and send all the money to the doctors. The doctors could help me get better then.

Maybe one day I will be able to play baseball. Right now I can only be third base.

Every time you forward this letter, the astronauts can take more prayers to the angels and my dream will be closer to coming true. Please help me. Mommy is so sad, and I want a body. I don't want my leaves to rot before I turn 10.

If you don't forward this email, that's okay. Mommy says you're a mean and heartless bastard who doesn't care about a poor little boy with only a head. She says that if you don't stew in the raw pit of your own guilt-ridden stomach, she hopes you die a long slow horrible death and then burn forever in hell. What kind of cruel person are you that you can't take five freakin' minutes to forward this to all your friends so that they can feel guilt and shame about ignoring a poor, bodiless nine-year-old boy?

Please help me. I try to be happy, but it's hard. I wish I had a kitty. I wish I could hold a kitty. I wish I could hold a kitty that wouldn't chew on me and try to bury its turds in the leaves of my burlap body. I wish that very much.

Thank You, Billy "Smiley" Evans

 

[mwtdvm]

PLEASE HELP

My name is Billy Evans.

ROTFLMAO

Cut and pasted it and sent it on to .... a lot of folks.. Retribution to some and hope the others see the humor...

Thanks, That was the high point of the day..