I'm So Old

I am so old I remember black and white console televisions and a child's job was to get up and change the channel at your father's request... to one of the four choices...
I'm so old, I remember a TV with a round, green screen.

I'm so old, I remember (and still have it) receiving a punched card during in-processing at ROTC Advanced Camp at Ft. Riley, Kansas.

I'm so old, I remember when Abercrombie & Fitch sold guns.
 
I'm so old, I didn't get dirty for the first couple of years of my life. There was no dirt.

I'm so old, there were no Walmarts or Kmarts

I'm so old, fast food was a rabbit

I'm so old, but my mind is still sharp. I don't know of a thing I have forgot.

Larry
 
I'm so old, our smart phone had a rotary dial and hung on the wall.
I'm so old, I can remember buying 22 ammo at Walmart.

I'm older than you for sure. I can remember when our first telephone had no dial, and I can remember buying 22 ammo (and CIL dynamite in 50LB boxes) at the local hardware store. Oh yeah, we also carried our 22's to school and kept them (and ammo) in our lockers so's we could hunt on the way home.
 
I'm so old, I take Viagra to keep from peeing on my shoes.

I'm so old, I take Viagra to keep from rolling out of bed.

I'm so old, I never pass a bathroom or trust a fart.

I'm so old, when I go to a funeral, I wonder if it's worth the time to go home.

I'm so old, when I die, they'll have to cut me in half and count the rings to see how old I was.
 
I'm so old that when I used my slide rule at work to crunch some numbers, one of the newly hired engineers came over and said, that was the first time he had seen a slide rule and had never seen anyone using one to solve problems!
 
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I'm so old, there were Five & Dime stores! And No, they didn't Sell nickels or dimes!

I'm so old, the headlight burnt out on my car. And I had to buy a new candle.

I'm so old, Moses preformed our wedding ceremony.

I'm so old, Ben Franklin borrowed my key. And never brought it back.

I'm so old, Confucius used to ask me my opinion on everything.
 
I'm so old, I remember when kids wore there pants around their waist and their ball cap brim faced forward. (Unless you were the catcher and could put it on backwards to wear a mask)

I'm so old, I remember getting a gallon of gas for my mini bike for around a quarter.

I'm so old, I remember being respectful to teachers or policeman or fear the belt when you got home.

I'm so old, I remember playing dodge ball and nobody's feelings got hurt being hit with a ball that weighed about an ounce more than a balloon.

I'm so old, I remember only the winning team got a trophy.

I'm so old, I remember having to deal with your problems without Prozac.
 
I am so old that old people feel obligated to call me sir.

I am so old that I have shoes, suits, ties and t-shirts older than the people that I work with.

I am so old that my birthdate is no longer included as an option in computerized registration forms.

I am so old that on the insurance annuity longevity tables, I passed away years ago.

I am so old that Dwight Eisnehower was my paperboy.

I am so old that when I see a pretty young lady, I first think about all the maintenance her beau must endure.

I am so old that a good golf shot is one where I can see where the ball went.
 
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