Is She Still Missing?

federali

Absent Comrade
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I didn't want to go to South Vietnam nor did I have any fantasies of filling dumpsters with dead Viet Cong. I was drafted and sent there. I had a job to do, after which I hoped to return to the states in one piece.

But, something was to happen that haunts me to this day. I was manning the desk at the MP station, outside of Nha Trang when a humble South Vietnamese man walked in, bowed respectfully and waited for assistance. Through our interpreter, we learned that his 10-year-old daughter had been wounded by shrapnel and he was told that the girl was evacuated to the 8th Field Hospital for treatment. That hospital was minutes from where I sat. The man had spent all the cash he had for a commercial airline ticket on Air Vietnam from somewhere in the north to Nha Trang, a coastal city 100 miles north of Cam Ranh Bay.

So, we called in a patrol and had them take papa-san to the hospital. They returned twenty minutes later and reported that the girl in question had not been received at the hospital. As it was getting late, we took papa-san to the mess hall, got him fed, then rigged up an empty detention cell for him to spend the night.

The next morning, while papa-san was at the mess hall, I started calling various MP units, asking them to check local and American medical facilities for the girl. Gradually, reports started coming in and there was no record of this girl having been evacuated to any American facility. She had simply vanished.

My search lasted three days while papa-san remained controlled and stoic. We had exhausted every option we had and we had not found his daughter. Through the interpreter, we explained the situation to him, we then all chipped in and gave him whatever Vietnamese currency we had in our pockets, then arranged for an Air Force flight to take him back to his home city. As he turned and left, I found myself getting emotional for the first time in country. I felt that I had failed. To be sure, communications were fractured at best, and I also feared that perhaps an MP, assigned to check the local field medical unit near him, may not have bothered and simply called in a negative report.

This incident happened 46 years ago, just after the Tet Offensive. I returned to the States and my job with the Treasury Department and I pushed my Vietnam memories aside as I became a husband, a homeowner, a father, and took on increasing responsibilities with Treasury. Yet, the haunting image of a misplaced and wounded little girl refuses to leave me, as does the memories of a sweet and respectful pap-san who had spent his last piaster in search of his daughter. I'm sure we all would have done the same.

To me, trying to flush these memories from my mind does not give me the closure I would want. I do hope that this girl eventually was found and reunited with her family. Thanks for allowing me to share and thanks for listening.
 
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Wonderful story of empathy. Sad that there are questions unanswered.
May I offer that The help you've done for others, including family, was probably given strength by you past experience. Strength that may have not come had your life experiences been different.
Let go with a warm smile .....
 
We learned early on to never give anything to little kids because they get it taken away from them by someone bigger often with a beating.
One of the things I saw that still tears me up was watching a 40 something papa-san, shove a small boy out in front of a duece-n-half I was riding shotgun in. We were blasting down the highway in a convoy at 45mph with orders to stop for nothing, I remember seeing the crowd of people as we approached a little ville, I remember seeing the guy standing there with his hands on the kids shoulders and then I remember seeing him shove the kid forward and the horrified look on the kids face as he disappeared behind the hood of the truck, then the sickening thump...the driver was a vet and never blinked and kept the hammer down, I was a weed and was yelling for him to stop...he said "Shut up kid...we stop for nothing, I'll explain later." Later he told me how some of the men find orphans and take them into their family, put clothes on their backs, feed them a meal, then one day they say "Come with me my new son." Takes the kid down to the highway and shoves him in front of a vehicle hoping its a new guy or soft hearted guy who stops, then he demands money because you killed his son...extortion sort of...thats how he basically feeds his family. He told me thats its harsh but they can tie traffic up and even stage an ambush if you stop for anything, a water buffalo is too valuable...the orphan has very little worth to anyone.
On the flip side and just to end on a high note. One early morning I remember looking over the back yard areas of a local ville, I remember remarking how you could tell the guy that had his sierra together because he had all Budweiser cans on his roof, the rest were a rag tag mix of cans. I remember watching a Vietnamese mother washing her hair from a bucket of water, pulling the water out, wringing her long black hair, tying it in an odd way and then taking her very young children and lovingly bathing each one and pouring the water over them, it was a beautiful sight and very touching at the same time, I can still see it.
 
federali: You didn't fail...you became the man you are today...and a good one with a conscience, I might add. I chose not to participate with a 2S deferment, and over time, it became a decision I regretted that has weighed on my mind. Time taught me that America owes Vietnam Vets more than it can ever repay. Thank you all for your service and sacrifice on behalf of our country during that era.
 
federali, Sometimes the only way we can rid ourselves of our ghosts is to open the door and meet them head on. Some times it works and sometimes it doesn't. But talking about them often eases the memories a bit. Keep talking to guys who understand. Hang in there.
 
It's possible...

A little hope that if she were alive, she made it back to her family after time went by. Maybe somewhere there is a Vietnamese lady that remembers flying to a hospital when she was a little girl. I hate to think how many children were displaced or worse. Thanks for sharing the personal story.

We babysat for a Vietnamese boat family with a small child that cried like anything when he was left alone. I hate to think of what he went through.
 
I started just to say-

Dừng lại

But you do what you need to do.

There are little rooms in my mind I try to stay out of.
I keep the doors closed, but sometimes they just open on their own.

I often heard and sometimes said "_______, it don't mean nothin"
Easier said than believed.

Welcome home.
 
I like that, Lee, little rooms in my mind that I try to stay out of. I hadn't thought of it like that, but it sure makes sense.

And, you're right, sometimes the doors just open on their own.

I usually don't read threads like this, but opened it and found myself reading the darned thing.

I don't read them because sometimes it triggers a memory (or opens one of the doors Lee spoke of) that I don't care to revisit.

I imagine most of us who were there saw young ones, old ones, men, women, and children who were simply cheated out of any chance at happiness, safety and, sometimes, life itself.

There are two things I truly hate-Cancer and War.

Bob
 
We learned early on to never give anything to little kids because they get it taken away from them by someone bigger often with a beating.
One of the things I saw that still tears me up was watching a 40 something papa-san, shove a small boy out in front of a duece-n-half I was riding shotgun in. We were blasting down the highway in a convoy at 45mph with orders to stop for nothing, I remember seeing the crowd of people as we approached a little ville, I remember seeing the guy standing there with his hands on the kids shoulders and then I remember seeing him shove the kid forward and the horrified look on the kids face as he disappeared behind the hood of the truck, then the sickening thump...the driver was a vet and never blinked and kept the hammer down, I was a weed and was yelling for him to stop...he said "Shut up kid...we stop for nothing, I'll explain later." Later he told me how some of the men find orphans and take them into their family, put clothes on their backs, feed them a meal, then one day they say "Come with me my new son." Takes the kid down to the highway and shoves him in front of a vehicle hoping its a new guy or soft hearted guy who stops, then he demands money because you killed his son...extortion sort of...thats how he basically feeds his family. He told me thats its harsh but they can tie traffic up and even stage an ambush if you stop for anything, a water buffalo is too valuable...the orphan has very little worth to anyone.
On the flip side and just to end on a high note. One early morning I remember looking over the back yard areas of a local ville, I remember remarking how you could tell the guy that had his sierra together because he had all Budweiser cans on his roof, the rest were a rag tag mix of cans. I remember watching a Vietnamese mother washing her hair from a bucket of water, pulling the water out, wringing her long black hair, tying it in an odd way and then taking her very young children and lovingly bathing each one and pouring the water over them, it was a beautiful sight and very touching at the same time, I can still see it.

While on active duty at a remote location in Pakistan we had the same thing happened. A few of us rented a VW bus to take a camping trip to SWAT VALLEY. On the way a local pushed his young son out into the path of the first bus and it ran over him. Both buses stopped and we helped the young boy and started giving him medical attention. We were immediately surrounded by the local armed police. All of us were detained and taken to the local PD. They brought the boy in and he was dinged up pretty bad. They showed him to us and demanded that if we would empty our pockets of all our cash they would turn us loose. We complied and they turned us loose with no record of anything happening. We had no recourse when we got back to the base as "we were in their country as a guest".

Felt sorry for the kid but put a bad taste in my mouth about a certain kind, gentle and non-violent religion.
 
Thank you all for your service. I work with several former South Vietnamese now well adjusted US citizens who were children during the war and had their families decimated by Viet Cong, NVA or Pol Pot's crew. On their behalf, I have been expressly authorized to say a grateful and sincere "Thank You".
 
federali, I did forget to say that I hope you do get some solace from your experience. I've gotten some very positive response when coming across Vietnamese Americans that either were sponsored by American families and relocated or one guy in particular that came over with all the "boat people". I met him while shooting with the muzzleloader group on one of our organized Sunday shoots, I saw his name Tha and it looked like a familiar Vietnamese name, when I heard him talking it was like a trip down memory lane. We often shoot together and sit together at lunch, one of the other guys was giving him a bad time about his bad english and I walked behind Tha and told him "No Sweat Tha, he beucoo dinkeydao." Tha looked at me real shocked and broke out in the loudest laugh I ever heard out of him. He mentions how a family from the Seattle area had taken him in when he was fourteen and taught him what it was to be an American. If there was anything good to become of that fiasco it would have to be in the number of hard working new Americans we picked up.
 
it was amazing how many good people were there still after all the wars they had been through before the usa got there.
 
Overwhelmed

I'm overwhelmed by the outpouring of understanding and comforting words from my fellow veterans and grateful citizens. You guys and gals are my extended family.

Handejector: "Little rooms in my mind that I try to stay out of." A comment that is nothing short of brilliant.
 
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