Joke, it covers a lot LOL wive's, Christmas, guns

[allthumbs]

Husband and Wife are Christmas Shopping at a busy shopping mall just before Christmas. The wife suddenly noticed that her husband was missing and as they had a lot to do, so she called him on his cell.

The wife said " Where are you, you know we have lots to do."
He said "You remember the jewelers we went into about 10 years ago, and you fell in love with that diamond necklace? I could not afford it at the time and I said that one day I would get it for you?"

Little tears started to flow down her cheek and she got all
choked up…

"Yes, I do remember that shop." she replied.

"Well I am in the gun shop next door to that."

 

[SPEEDGUNNER]

...and then the fight started.

 

[bamabiker]

Welcome to the dog house.

 

[steelslaver]

The joke is women do something like that all the time. Ramble on with all kinds of fringe, barely related stuff before finally getting to some where close to the point.

My wife's sister broke her arm.

But, before I actually found that out, I heard about a set of steps that they had on a house when she went to school in Boise and the teacher there was some kind of musician that played in a band. He is dead now. Some kind of weird accident involving a ski lift. She was only 10 and her sister was 4, when they lived there. The teacher was killed when she was 16 and starting college. The steps got slick when it rained and the wind blew a certain way in Boise, which it didn't very often like it did when she was in Pittsburgh where it did this all the time. Turns out here sister fell down some steps and broke her arm, but the steps were not anything like the ones in Boise and they were dry too. They had both fell on the slick steps in Boise, but, neither had broken anything, but could have.

MY version. Here sister feel and broke her arm.

Of course I am listen to you dear.. Couldn't you tell by the way I kept dozing off? LOL

 

[bigwheelzip]

Of course I am listen to you dear.. Couldn't you tell by the way I kept dozing off? LOL

Very funny, and true. Occasionally, hubby will stop me in mid-sentence and just announce "OK, I'm trying to follow you, but I'm lost now".

Come on guys, keep up!

 

[Rustyt1953]

I gave Ruthie and my daughters each one of these:

 

[Grayfox]

Some folks are like that. They use more words to say less than anybody else you know.
Politicians immediately come to mind.

 

[BAM-BAM]

Husbands "To make a long story short........."

Wives "To make a short story long, let me share some background....."

 

[Old_Cop]

When I ask what time it is, don't tell me how to build a watch.

 

[Bekeart]

I see you have met my ex ....

Husbands "To make a long story short........."

Wives "To make a short story long, let me share some background....."

I see you have met my ex ....

Bekeart

 

[Rustyt1953]

It's a losing battle.

Not only do Ruthie and my daughters take the circuitous route to Pointsville but they do it by semaphore. I do believe that if I were to sew their hands into their pockets they would lose the ability to communicate.

Staring at my wrist and whistling "final Jeopardy" apparently is not as funny to them as it is to me.

I just nod a lot.

Signed: a broken man

 

[Ivan the Butcher]

It's a losing battle.


Signed: a broken man

I read this to my wife, She doesn't think you are broken, she thinks you are well trained!

Ivan

 

[delcrossv]

I've had this talk with my daughters (I have 4)

"When you're talking to a guy, you have to remember that guys think linearly- imagine a long straight railroad track." If you get off the tracks when talking to a guy, their mind will wander and you won't get your point across"

Amazingly, it seems to work. They've gotten much more concise when talking to me or their brothers/ boyfriends etc.

 

[gman51]

LOL I often wonder did I drift off for awhile or did she not tell me she changed the subject?

 

[joe44va]

Ahh yes:
My Wife says I never listen to her, or something like that.

 

[WR Moore]

When my yearly physical revealed a slight hearing loss, I asked for hard copy of that. Took it home and told the wife "It's not that I don't pay attention, I didn't hear you." And I had proof!

 

[snubbyfan]

[ame]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_fHxFS9PiYM[/ame]

 

[JohnRippert]

It's a losing battle.

Not only do Ruthie and my daughters take the circuitous route to Pointsville but they do it by semaphore. I do believe that if I were to sew their hands into their pockets they would lose the ability to communicate.

Staring at my wrist and whistling "final Jeopardy" apparently is not as funny to them as it is to me.

I just nod a lot.

Signed: a broken man

I saw a woman at a bus stop this afternoon talking to someone using a bluetooth headset. Looked like she was directing either traffic or a orchestra.

 

[jimtr6]

From 1960:
YouTube

 

[pawngal]

Hate to tell you guys but some men are like that too. I was married to one. Any phone conversation with him was at least 30 minutes, likely an hour. When he'd leave a voice mail he'd talk until the time ran out. He had a brother that was the same way too.