Jokes about your neighboring states.......

[fonejack54]

" Did you hear that the governor of West Virginia resigned. He heard that Firestone was hiring again."

This one made more sense when Akron, Ohio was the rubber capitol of the world.

 

[kozmic]

I cringed when I saw this thread title, but these are quite humorous. Classless, ruthless, insensitive and crude, but funny!

There was a time (back when I was a proud NYer) I would have busted on any state. But as of late, I feel I'm better off sitting on the sideline than pretending to want to knock any state that at the end of the day is a vast improvement over what I got.

But don't let that stop you crazy folk!

 

[Sven]

Do you know that there's a pretty girl behind every tree in North Dakota?

Think about it. . .

 

[OFT II]

What do you call a pretty woman in Louisiana?

A tourist.



A cajun friend once asked me if I knew the difference between a coon *** and a horse's ***. I said no. He replied "The Sabine River".

 

[bluegrassarms]

One on my own state which I do in fact dearly love...

I got arrested coming back into Kentucky last week. I was charged with smuggling books into the state.

Turned out OK, I got off on a technicality. No one could prove they were books.

 

[rog8732]

Never any drive-by shootings in W. Va.....all the cars are up on blocks.

 

[rags]

Indiana is weird. You look North, you see South Bend. You look South, you see North Vernon... and French Lick isn't what you think it is either!

 

[Hillbilly77]

Indiana is weird. You look North, you see South Bend. You look South, you see North Vernon... and French Lick isn't what you think it is either!

You folks in Ohio owe a huge debt of gratitude to Pennsylvania.
If it weren't for them, you'd be New York's neighbor.

 

[Jst1mr]

The state motto of Minnesota: "Where even a man who wears a feather boa can grow up to be Governor."

 

[Grayfox]

What has 16 legs and 24 teeth?

The Ol' Miss cheerleading squad!

 

[Calaveras Slim]

What's the definition of a Yankee?

Someone from up north that comes to visit

What's the definition of a Damn Yankee?

Those Yankees that decide to stay

 

[shouldazagged]

The state motto of Minnesota: "Where even a man who wears a feather boa can grow up to be Governor."

Very nice!

 

[Lost Lake]

You know why Bears football players don't jump in the stands like the Packers 'Lambeau Leap'?

They'd hurt themselves hitting the empty seats.

------------

You know why North Dakota was denied a professional football team?

Because then Minnesota would want one too.

.

 

[Old TexMex]

What do you call a pretty woman in Louisiana?

A tourist.



A cajun friend once asked me if I knew the difference between a coon @ss and a horse's @ss. I said no. He replied "The Sabine River".

You can't imagine how long I been tryin to remember that one. Gracias, Merc' bookoo an thanks,podner.

 

[walkin jack]

Q. What is the Louisiana state bird?

A. The mosquito.

 

[DGT]

What keeps Oklahoma from sinking into utter stupidity? The Red River

 

[cavsix]

Why did Texas choose burnt orange for their school color?

It's perfect for the game on Saturday, hunting on Sunday, and picking up cans along the side of the highway Monday through Friday!

 

[cavsix]

What do you get when you have 32 Tennessee cheerleaders in your room?

A full set of teeth!

 

[cavsix]

What will you get when you slowly drag an ear of corn behind your car in Nebraska?

The state legislature following hungrily!

 

[handejector]

Alabama waitress: "Whatcha drinkin, hon?"
Me: "Ice water, please."
Alabama waitress: "Ain't got none cause the lady who knew the recipe quit."

 

[smokindog]

Q. Why do University of Michigan graduates keep their diplomas on their dashboard?
A. So that they can park in handicapped spaces.

View attachment 121650

Q: Did you hear about the fire in Ohio State University's football dorm that destroyed 20 books?

A: The real tragedy was that 15 hadn't been colored yet.

View attachment 121652

 

[sceva]

Do you know what a Buckeye is?

A buckeye is a generally useless nut that drives Wolverines absolutely insane.

View attachment 121650

Q: Did you hear about the fire in Ohio State University's football dorm that destroyed 20 books?

A: The real tragedy was that 15 hadn't been colored yet.

View attachment 121652

 

[Fishslayer]

View attachment 121650

Q: Did you hear about the fire in Ohio State University's football dorm that destroyed 20 books?

A: The real tragedy was that 15 hadn't been colored yet.

View attachment 121652

They're already depressed because of the pay cut they'll take when they get to the NFL...

 

[ImprovedModel56Fan]

There was a time (back when I was a proud NYer) I would have busted on any state. But as of late, I feel I'm better off sitting on the sideline than pretending to want to knock any state that at the end of the day is a vast improvement over what I got.

Thank you. MA, of course, is only a half-vast improvement, if that.

 

[CBus660R]

West Virginia, where the men are men and the sheep are scared!

 

[sw1834]

What's the last thing General Custer said to the people of North Dakota
as he left for the Battle of Little Bighorn?...

Stay here and act stupid until I get back!

SWCA #1834

 

[sw1834]

Wingmaster brought up the border war between North and South Dakota. North Dakota said they would surely win that battle as soon as they figured out how to drive their septic Tanks.

SWCA #1834

 

[rog8732]

Virginia DOT work crew left the shop to plant some new signs about 20 miles the other side of their district.... Hour later called back to district super saying they left all the shovels... His instructions; Well,just lean on the dump truck till I can bring you some.

 

[Coldshooter]

I understand the most effective form of birth control in North Dakota is nudity.

 

[427mach1]

What's the difference between an Alabama chearleader and an elephant?

About 20 pounds.

How do you make up the difference?

Feed the elephant more....