My sympathies are with today's kids.

[BLACKHAWKNJ]

Stories about how to terrorize today's young by taking away their technology, comments about "millennials" and "Gen Xers" remind me that as an erstwhile "Senior Citizen" (I don't ever recall being a Junior Citizen) and a member of the I Had Lousy Parents Club that when I hear of family conflicts and disputes my sympathies are usually with the kids until I see convincing evidence otherwise.
A longtime friend's father succumbed to dementia and related problems a few years ago. He was the primary caregiver, aided by his two siblings. Their reward:
1. No savings, investments or insurance.
2. He was in arrears on his taxes
3. He had dipped into his equity
4. He had let the house run down
Between paying off the taxes, the home equity loan and getting the house fixed up to be sold, they figured out what they would receive....so much for being dutiful children.
A woman I know said she and her two siblings were untroubled by their father's early death from cancer at 57. She said he had a good job (or so they thought), a nice house, but "we never went anywhere or did anything as a family." He always had the things he wanted-she remembered one car they never saw the inside of. But when it came time to help pay for college and anything else....
Another woman told me she and her siblings were in a quandary over what to do with their father. Their mother had died suddenly, she was his caregiver. She said he was a career federal civil servant, thought nothing about uprooting his family if it meant a chance for advancement and promotion for him-she and her sister graduated from different high schools, she said the frequent moves were very hard on her brother. When she was 11 she injured her leg very badly, his reaction was one of indifference. And that was their attitude towards him.
I recall a letter I saw in the Long Island newspaper Newsday. The writer said he was an instructor at a community college, he referred to the seriousness of the students he encountered-"They're hoping to be able to earn enough to move out of their parents house."

 

[Texas Star]

Schools teach very little geography or history. MANY know little of what it should mean to be American. We are losing our heritage and our nation!

Someone asked me today where Denmark is and what language Danes speak. She'd heard of Danish pastries, but made no connection.

 

[sigp220.45]

I was lucky to have two good loving parents. Most of my friends did, too, as far as I knew.

My biggest adjustment on starting a law enforcement career was accepting the notion that some parents not only didn't love their kids, they actively disliked them and often went to great lengths to be cruel to them.

I learned for many people having a boyfriend was more important than caring for their kids. It was simple really - they never wanted the kids in the first place.

None of this was new. It was just new to me.

How many times has a new member posted seeking a value for a gun just inherited from ol' Dad, only to be told to keep it as a precious reminder? Maybe Dad was a wife-beating drunk.

Be thankful if you had good parents. Not everybody did.

 

[woodsltc]

Schools teach very little geography or history. MANY know little of what it should mean to be American. We are losing our heritage and our nation!

Someone asked me today where Denmark is and what language Danes speak. She'd heard of Danish pastries, but made no connection.

Yep, couldn't agree more with your 1st paragraph.......and the 2nd paragraph is a "sad" example of how lacking in knowledge/common reasoning some are .

 

[jeffrefrig]

My parents lived through the depression growing up. My dad was valedictorian of his HS class, but joined the Navy, as WWII was still going on. Got his college in night school. I had 4 sisters, we had a camp to go to, etc. We got what we needed, not wanted. I always felt bad for the poor kids in my school. Many had single moms. Many of these kids never graduated. They don't teach anything in the schools about how to live, pay bills, get real jobs. It's a shame what some kids have to live through. I moved to Pittsburgh & got a job for the public school system here. It was awful seeing how many of these kids live. And this is a small city compared to the others.

 

[delcrossv]

A younger associate as my old job had 2 kids:

Wife only had them "because all my friends are"

Wife worked from home and the kids were in full time daycare since they were infants

Husband and wife would take trips a few times a year - without the kids

So, do you think those kids will give a rat's patoot when their parents are old and needful of help?

 

[Ματθιας]

I'm indifferent. Why should I feel sorry for them?

My nephew and his GF are a 30 something losers. Neither one has an education beyond high school and, well, frankly, neither one is very smart. They are unmarried. Both are unemployed. Both live off the taxpayer. They live, rent free, on a property and trailer that family allows them to live on/in. They have a vehicle that was given to them. They live 45 minutes away, but they show up everyday at my sister's house. My sister subsidizes their lifestyle by paying some of their bills and taking care of their kid. They, literally, don't have to work - why would they! My nephew and his GF are trying to have another kid - they can't afford the kid they have now! They can't even afford the 4 dogs they have!

They have no money, and will never have savings as they spend money as fast as they get it. I know this because, they came to my mom asking for money saying that their kid, my mom's great grandchild, needed stuff. After my dad passed, I became my mom's caregiver and bill payer and I cut them off. After they stopped coming by, my mom realized that they only stopped by to get money. My mom was hurt.

My sister did the same thing, she used my nephew to get money from my folks.

My sister and her husband have jobs, but they also have to "keep up with the Joneses. They have no savings and spend money as fast as they get it!

My folks gave my sister then my nephew every opportunity, even offered to help pay for their education. They didn't want it. My sister dropped out of high school and got a GED. My nephew, a product of ABQ public schools, is functionally illiterate. Oh, well.

It doesn't have to be like that, but, they choose to live the way they live.

Why would I feel sorry for them?

 

[31FordA]

I've spent a good percentage of my career as an investigator for family court, and after seeing some of the "families" kids come from I'm not surprised some kids are a mess. If you can think of something awful to do to a child I've probably seen it. After leaving a "home" I've often remarked that the kids would literally be better off being left with wolves.

Of course not all messed up kids are the fault of their families. I've arrested a number of total losers in front of their distraught parents. The parents were good people, they did everything they could to give the kid a good home, but something went wrong. I feel bad for the parents, but have no sympathy for those kids. They threw away a life a lot of other kids could only dream of.

 

[Beemerguy53]

There was a meme recently being shared on social media that every parent needs to memorize:

"Someday you'll be just a memory; make it a good one."

 

[brucev]

Guess I'm an odd man out. My parents had no real education. Neither got through HS. Had to go to work b/c of The Depression. I am the first in the family to graduate HS, graduate from a local jr. college, then transfer to and graduate from the university and later earn my masters. My daughters went through college. Both are well established, married, own their own homes, etc. I have managed to buy a home and am now buying another home. Neither of my daughters are rich. My wife and I will leave everything we have to them. They have always acted wisely. They will take what they receive and use it wisely. The grandchildren will have opportunities b/c of the decisions made by my parents, the decisions my wife and I have made, and the decisions our daughters are making. Sincerely. bruce.

 

[Gaffer]

I guess I am very lucky, I made tough and difficult choices, live on peanut butter and macaroni while going to tech school. Then moved upon graduation to another state, lived frugally, invested in company stock and moved several times with advancement. However, never bought the toys that others did, like, boats, snowmobiles etc. I just kept my nose to the grindstone and retired as well off.
It is a matter of choices, no one was born poorer than I on a Maine farm, but by applying my self, going without and working hard I am now quite comfortable. However, I resent and have no pity for those who live on welfare and my tax dollars. I feel they should starve and get no help if they won't get off their lazy asses and make an effort to improve their lot. I blame government for the mess we are in today with nearly half on the dole. Let them all starve if they wont work, have them shovel snow if no other jobs are available. Rant over!

 

[KalamazooKid]

I was incredibly lucky to have two parents that loved us kids - and they told us that EVERY DAY. They're both gone now but I've made it my life's work to pass that same love on to our kids (both our two and their spouses). To my wife and I, it was never rocket science, do stuff together and tell em you love em. I'm known to my kids, and ALL of their friends, as PA and I cherish that.

It pained me to learn that a lot of our kid's friends growing up either had a single parent or had a terrible relationship with their parents. I heard of many that the "only time they converse is when they're arguing". Sad.

Now that mine are in their mid 20's we still go camping, hunting, fishing, have dinner, and spend a lot of time together - because we love to. My daughter is a professional photographer so we're lucky to have tons of pictures, this is from a long weekend in northern Michigan a couple months ago .....

 

[Onomea]

...Be thankful if you had good parents. Not everybody did.

Amen. And the way to thank and honor them is to be the best parent you can to your kids, their grandchildren, thus teaching them, in turn, how to be good parents, and so on, through the generations.

 

[tops]

If a person had bad parents it's not a reason too be a bad parent and since they know how hard it is when the parents are no good they should try extra hard too be super good parents. Larry

 

[Golddollar]

I never had any children or grandchildren, so I don't have any direct experience about what is being taught in school these days. But I am curious, are any schools teaching kids about things like personal finance? I know that there was no such class in high school when I was growing up. The majority of my knowledge of personal finance probably came from my father, who had me charting stocks and doing financial research at the library when I was in grade school. He despised going into debt and paying the accompanying interest. In college I had a course in Investments, and from all of this plus Algebra II I managed to establish a retirement program that allowed me to take an early retirement.

When I was doing collection work, I got to see a lot of the financial pitfalls that people got into. One case in particular, when the debtor took out a personal loan, it seemed to be a surprise to the debtor that the loan had to be paid back.

If you think this an idea worth persuing, maybe this is something that should be brought up to the local school boards. Hopefully it could keep a generation from getting in a financial jam that could be a cloud hanging over their lives for years to come.

 

[GypsmJim]

My Grandparents were all kinda poor. Nevertheless, they were married couples and taught their kids right from wrong, plus the necessary life skills. They lived in the city.

Mom & Dad married right after WWII. There were no cars or apartments available, so they lived with Grandpa and Grandma and Dad took a bus to work. They never spent anything that wasn't necessary. Ten years later they bought a tiny little house. It was in the suburbs in a nice, but low priced, neighborhood.

I grew up in the inner city and went to public school in the 1950's. I remember that all my classmates had Moms & Dads. Never met one with a single parent. The neighborhood was composed of all races and everyone was respectful to one another.

When we moved to the suburbs in the 1960's I went to Parochial school because that's where all the kids on my street went. My recollection of "family units" was the same.

We had a big globe in the classroom. One lesson each day was about Geography. The Nuns also taught us how to make change, how to walk down the street, cross at the corner, etc. They also counseled us about the future by explaining what different jobs entailed and what education was needed to do them.

The root cause of our problems today is the breakdown of the "family". Not just single parent households, but the double parent ones just don't take care of their kids. The second problem is the p.$$ poor school system.

I have worked with youngins that were brilliant and had BS and Masters degrees in Engineering, yet they couldn't write a legible sentence and didn't have a clue about anything that wasn't on snapchat. My wife is a 40+ year veteran teacher so I have inside knowledge of the system.

My kids went to public school, but they were home schooled about the things that were left out.

I sympathize with today's kids as well. I just don't know what to do about it.

 

[quikdraw67]

I was lucky to have 2 parents who loved me and my siblings and helped us all become successful. Dad died in 2005, Mom just passed away Monday night.

Mom and Dad were children of the Depression. Mom's father was a coal miner in Scranton, and with 5 kids to feed, things got tight sometimes. Mom told the story of how she, her sisters, and her mom would walk along the railroad tracks with buckets picking up coal that fell off the hoppers. She said were were poor, we just didn't know it.

The neighborhood in Scranton was tight knit and everyone looked out and helped each other.

Mom and Dad hammered a work ethic into me and my siblings that served us well. Something I just don't see in today's kids. Or their parents for that matter. I'm 53, but being raised by older parents turned out to be a blessing. Ditto Mrs. QD67. Her Mom grew up in the Depression, her Dad was a Korean War vet. She has the same work ethic as I do, and she's a veteran to boot.

Neither one of us approve of the lifestyles of so many. If we can't pay cash for it (minus the house and cars), we don't buy it. We live a comfortable life, don't get me wrong. But we don't take fancy vacations, go to casinos, eat out every night (even before covid). Date night before covid was a tray of pizza and a glass of wine at the local Italian restaurant.

And guns are just another form of cash. She likes stocks and bonds, I like Smiths and Rugers.



All my parents life savings minus a few thousand dollars were used up taking care of my Mom, 1st in assisted living, later in a nursing home. So my siblings and I will get a few hundred bucks.

And that's perfectly fine. I was glad she was able to be comfortable and well cared for in her final years.

I consider the wonderful childhood and knowledge learned from my parents to be a good inheritance.

I do feel bad for today's kids, because they just don't know anything else.

 

[gregintenn]

Stories about how to terrorize today's young by taking away their technology, comments about "millennials" and "Gen Xers" remind me that as an erstwhile "Senior Citizen" (I don't ever recall being a Junior Citizen) and a member of the I Had Lousy Parents Club that when I hear of family conflicts and disputes my sympathies are usually with the kids until I see convincing evidence otherwise.
A longtime friend's father succumbed to dementia and related problems a few years ago. He was the primary caregiver, aided by his two siblings. Their reward:
1. No savings, investments or insurance.
2. He was in arrears on his taxes
3. He had dipped into his equity
4. He had let the house run down
Between paying off the taxes, the home equity loan and getting the house fixed up to be sold, they figured out what they would receive....so much for being dutiful children.
A woman I know said she and her two siblings were untroubled by their father's early death from cancer at 57. She said he had a good job (or so they thought), a nice house, but "we never went anywhere or did anything as a family." He always had the things he wanted-she remembered one car they never saw the inside of. But when it came time to help pay for college and anything else....
Another woman told me she and her siblings were in a quandary over what to do with their father. Their mother had died suddenly, she was his caregiver. She said he was a career federal civil servant, thought nothing about uprooting his family if it meant a chance for advancement and promotion for him-she and her sister graduated from different high schools, she said the frequent moves were very hard on her brother. When she was 11 she injured her leg very badly, his reaction was one of indifference. And that was their attitude towards him.
I recall a letter I saw in the Long Island newspaper Newsday. The writer said he was an instructor at a community college, he referred to the seriousness of the students he encountered-"They're hoping to be able to earn enough to move out of their parents house."

My kids always seemed embarrassed because we didn't drive new cars, have a swimming pool, etc.



Now that they're older and see all their buddies racking up student loans while their college is paid for, they have a different view.

 

[KalamazooKid]

I was lucky to have 2 parents who loved me and my siblings and helped us all become successful. Dad died in 2005, Mom just passed away Monday night.



Mom and Dad were children of the Depression. Mom's father was a coal miner in Scranton, and with 5 kids to feed, things got tight sometimes. Mom told the story of how she, her sisters, and her mom would walk along the railroad tracks with buckets picking up coal that fell off the hoppers. She said were were poor, we just didn't know it.



The neighborhood in Scranton was tight knit and everyone looked out and helped each other.



Mom and Dad hammered a work ethic into me and my siblings that served us well. Something I just don't see in today's kids. Or their parents for that matter. I'm 53, but being raised by older parents turned out to be a blessing. Ditto Mrs. QD67. Her Mom grew up in the Depression, her Dad was a Korean War vet. She has the same work ethic as I do, and she's a veteran to boot.



Neither one of us approve of the lifestyles of so many. If we can't pay cash for it (minus the house and cars), we don't buy it. We live a comfortable life, don't get me wrong. But we don't take fancy vacations, go to casinos, eat out every night (even before covid). Date night before covid was a tray of pizza and a glass of wine at the local Italian restaurant.



And guns are just another form of cash. She likes stocks and bonds, I like Smiths and Rugers.







All my parents life savings minus a few thousand dollars were used up taking care of my Mom, 1st in assisted living, later in a nursing home. So my siblings and I will get a few hundred bucks.



And that's perfectly fine. I was glad she was able to be comfortable and well cared for in her final years.



I consider the wonderful childhood and knowledge learned from my parents to be a good inheritance.



I do feel bad for today's kids, because they just don't know anything else.

So sorry for your loss. But it sure sounds like you've got some awesome memories - hang on to those and God Bless.

 

[quikdraw67]

So sorry for your loss. But it sure sounds like you've got some awesome memories - hang on to those and God Bless.

Thank you.