badam0112
Member
Amen to that. Time for some boundaries. It took me a long time to figure out I can love them but don't have to buy into all of their BS. My wife and kids come first now.
ok I need thoughts on this one is she crazy?
- Thread starter Crazy K38
- Start date
Amen to that. Time for some boundaries. It took me a long time to figure out I can love them but don't have to buy into all of their BS. My wife and kids come first now.
66TAS
Member
She sounds like my own dear mother. Have not spoken to her since 2 days before I got married, almost 8 years ago. SHE started another big bunch of drama and I finally said "enough". I hear through the grapevine that if I would just apo;ogize then all would be forgiven......fat chance. I doubt I will apologize for her cussing and then taking a swing at my wife....why she did all that I really have no idea other than she is just a miserable and bitter woman. It sometimes bothers me that my own mother could care less whether she talks to her son or not, but so far it hasnt bothered me enough to return for more of her abusive behavior. I feel for ya, but have no answers myself.....
BTW, after reading your sig line, I think we may have a common friend. Are you a friend of Bill Wilson??
Adam
m657
Member
Life is tough enough without having to deal with extreme personality quirks of those around us....
My ex- was what now would be called bi-polar. Much easier to deal with than a parent with the same issue I'd wager.
My best strategy was: step back, stand clear, don't get sucked in.
My ex- was what now would be called bi-polar. Much easier to deal with than a parent with the same issue I'd wager.
My best strategy was: step back, stand clear, don't get sucked in.
Spotteddog
Member
Yup,
Afraid she's nuttier than a Squirrel turd.
In our family, it's my sister. What you discover, only after dealing with a family member who's Bat s**t crazy, is that there are actually two different types of nuts. In one type, they won't be nasty, calculating, malignant sociopaths, but an eccentric flighty moon bat. In the other case however, they are energy vampires who will tap into your very life's essence in an attempt to fill up the yawning chasm of their own emptiness. I watched her do it to my Mother, then my Father and finally me. In fact, though it's been near 10 years since the last one (Dad) passed now I'm still subject to Hezzbolah style legal attacks. So, as Barb and the others have suggested, get and keep as much distance as you can between you and her. Short of a mental health epiphany via medication or therapy, it's the best you can do?
Afraid she's nuttier than a Squirrel turd.
In our family, it's my sister. What you discover, only after dealing with a family member who's Bat s**t crazy, is that there are actually two different types of nuts. In one type, they won't be nasty, calculating, malignant sociopaths, but an eccentric flighty moon bat. In the other case however, they are energy vampires who will tap into your very life's essence in an attempt to fill up the yawning chasm of their own emptiness. I watched her do it to my Mother, then my Father and finally me. In fact, though it's been near 10 years since the last one (Dad) passed now I'm still subject to Hezzbolah style legal attacks. So, as Barb and the others have suggested, get and keep as much distance as you can between you and her. Short of a mental health epiphany via medication or therapy, it's the best you can do?
Folterung
Member
Folterung the amateur psychologist:
Borderline personality disorder (BPD) is a psychiatric diagnosis in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-IV Personality Disorders 301.83)[1] that describes a prolonged disturbance of personality function characterized by depth and variability of moods.[2] The disorder typically involves unusual levels of instability in mood; "black and white" thinking, or "splitting"; chaotic and unstable interpersonal relationships, self-image, identity, and behavior; as well as a disturbance in the individual's sense of self. In extreme cases, this disturbance in the sense of self can lead to periods of dissociation.[3] These disturbances can have a pervasive negative impact on many or all of the psychosocial facets of life. This includes difficulties maintaining relationships in work, home and social settings. Attempted suicide and completed suicide are possible outcomes, especially without proper care and effective therapy.[4]
Borderline personality disorder (BPD) is a psychiatric diagnosis in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-IV Personality Disorders 301.83)[1] that describes a prolonged disturbance of personality function characterized by depth and variability of moods.[2] The disorder typically involves unusual levels of instability in mood; "black and white" thinking, or "splitting"; chaotic and unstable interpersonal relationships, self-image, identity, and behavior; as well as a disturbance in the individual's sense of self. In extreme cases, this disturbance in the sense of self can lead to periods of dissociation.[3] These disturbances can have a pervasive negative impact on many or all of the psychosocial facets of life. This includes difficulties maintaining relationships in work, home and social settings. Attempted suicide and completed suicide are possible outcomes, especially without proper care and effective therapy.[4]
cmort666
Member
Back in the mid '80s, I had problems (not quite that bad) with my mother in Chicago. I just kept at least one state between us and didn't see her for 13 years. She's a lot older and mellower now.
OP
Crazy K38
Member
well I have disowned her, she tried taking my kids and my family is my life. I have no intention of ever speaking to her again, and that's that, I has been like that and worse my entire life, I am done with her and anyone associated with her, she wants to be the 'bad' crazy fine, but I am the 'good eccentric' crazy and those crazy's don't mix
BLACKHAWKNJ
Member
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An Italian (ancestry) friend of mine said: "Just because they're family, if they put [fecal matter] on your plate, you don't have to eat it!" . Life is too short to put up with abusive and obnoxious behavior. I have always liked the solution one woman suggested to me. After
her mother died-largely from neglect by her father-she and her husband moved into the family home to keep an eye on the old man. He had to go into the hospital for an extended stay, they made him sign an Elderly Power of Attorney, the house is in their name, his pension and Social Security checks go into their bank account. The old man came home, she informed him that his drinking and smoking days were over, any objections, he had to take it up with his SIL. SIL, 35 years old, 6'2", 230 mostly muscular pounds, old man 67, 5'8", 170 pounds of fat and flab. I've also been told a Louisville Slugger or a Size 10 Steel Cap works wonders.
her mother died-largely from neglect by her father-she and her husband moved into the family home to keep an eye on the old man. He had to go into the hospital for an extended stay, they made him sign an Elderly Power of Attorney, the house is in their name, his pension and Social Security checks go into their bank account. The old man came home, she informed him that his drinking and smoking days were over, any objections, he had to take it up with his SIL. SIL, 35 years old, 6'2", 230 mostly muscular pounds, old man 67, 5'8", 170 pounds of fat and flab. I've also been told a Louisville Slugger or a Size 10 Steel Cap works wonders.
keith44spl
Member
Man,
I feel for ya, that sounds like my mother in law!!!
Small world ain't it...
Su Amigo,
Dave
I feel for ya, that sounds like my mother in law!!!
Small world ain't it...
Su Amigo,
Dave
BrianE
Member
+1 Best advice anyone could give!
Almost like fishing and youre the fish... throw the bate out (which is being normal / nice) and once you grab at it you get sucked back in for the BS and then it cycles all over. Going through it now and have been with the in-laws for 4 years now... My wife just finally started doing that stradegy and its been working. But one thing is, things get worse before they get better (people always run out of energy or bad things to say when you show it no longer bothers you though). I know its probably tough due to it being your mom and I wish things were better for ya, but it happens to the best of us... Good luck man!!
OP
Crazy K38
Member
sadly enough it is, what happened to when mothers where supportive and cared for their kids
shortranger
Member
Hopefully, someone will return the favor one day and they too will find themselves prisoners in (what used to be) their own homes.
David
Thuer
Member
Looks like the behavior of my own mother. She tryed to control me even when I was married. I didnt let that happen. But my mother was a psychatric patient. She died 2 years ago at the age of 69. I am sorry to say that it was a big relief.
OP
Crazy K38
Member
thats how I have felt about mine for a few years now, and I really hate to admit that but I feel like she will never stop trying to ruin things for me until she's gone
Thuer
Member
At one point I dicide that my mother wasnt a part of my life anymore. When I visit her I did go to a stranger. She has ruined my love for her.
Grayfox
US Veteran
You're not alone. One of the best friends I ever had lived in Missouri. His mother was like that. Never gave a damn about him, only what he could do for her. In that vein, he "stored" a number of things for her including some guns.
I met the woman twice. She refused to even acknowledge me and I developed an immediate dislike for her that bordered on pure hatred.
He was a retired cop on a medical disability. Heart disease. When he knew his days were coming to an end, He asked me to protect his long time common law wife from his mother when the time came. (Mom absolutely hated her).
When I got the call that he had passed, I jumped in the car and headed for Missouri. I arrived in a matter of hours. The funeral home had just left with the body, when "Mother" showed up demanding everything that was "hers'" and then some. She then proceeded to treaten the wife and scream "You get NOTHING!".
The poor guy wasn't even cold yet.
Long story short: It took the help of the Sheriff's Dept, but I put Mom in her place. Made it stick too. She passed on the formal funeral service, showed up alone for the graveside service, refused to speak to anyone, never shed a tear.
The point is that you're not the only person with screwed up family. Don't be hard on yourself.
I met the woman twice. She refused to even acknowledge me and I developed an immediate dislike for her that bordered on pure hatred.
He was a retired cop on a medical disability. Heart disease. When he knew his days were coming to an end, He asked me to protect his long time common law wife from his mother when the time came. (Mom absolutely hated her).
When I got the call that he had passed, I jumped in the car and headed for Missouri. I arrived in a matter of hours. The funeral home had just left with the body, when "Mother" showed up demanding everything that was "hers'" and then some. She then proceeded to treaten the wife and scream "You get NOTHING!".
The poor guy wasn't even cold yet.
Long story short: It took the help of the Sheriff's Dept, but I put Mom in her place. Made it stick too. She passed on the formal funeral service, showed up alone for the graveside service, refused to speak to anyone, never shed a tear.
The point is that you're not the only person with screwed up family. Don't be hard on yourself.
