ok I need thoughts on this one is she crazy?

Crazy K38

Crazy K38

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A buddy of mine a few months back got a call from his mom, she said her heart was going out (she has some terminal heart condition) and she wanted him closer, so he quit his job and moved there, when he gets there he finds a similar job but it paid almost 2.00 less an hour, and he had to use his mom's jeep to drive the hour there commute, well he starts coming up short on the bills and has to rely on her to help out a little bit on his rent. In the meantime she gives him a cellphone because his other one wouldn't work in Louisiana, but she blocks all calls in and out but hers and he has family here! well he gets his own prepaid and she FLIPS!! well she finally gets over it and things are good for about a week til Christmas, he has his dad come and see the grand kids and she cuts him off from the jeep for work, tells him to go to **** about the rent, with it just a few days away, and leaves him, his wife and his two young kids jobless and about to be homeless with about 250$ to his name, so he moves back here, then she gets furious because he moved and calls social services with TONS of false claims, claims so bad the social worker said if she called again they will press charges on her, and he finally told her she was disowned, now she is trying to email him saying she forgives him and it was all his fault!?!?! what do you guys make of this?
 
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Once upon a time..

the wife of a friend told me that she had a hard time figuring out where the soap operas stopped and reality started. At the time I thought she was a bit off. Now, 35-40 years later, I think she may have been one of the sanest people I've ever met. Your posting makes me glad that my family with it's minor dysfunctions is mine, and your friend will hopefully be able to make some sort of life when this strange chapter in his life is over.
 
That sort of behaviour would also be typical for a psychopath/sociopath. No regard for the well being of others, just him/herself as the center of the universe.

It is not so important if a person would be really diagnosed with such a personality disorder or not, but it is very important for people being treated like that to recognize the manipulation for what it is and get themselves out of the situation, better sooner than later. It is really hard to do if the manipulator is a close member of the family, but it does not make sense to destroy your own life and lives of the other people around you, either.

Such manipulators pull every string trying to find the ones that work best. Most often they work on the feeling of guilt. The manipulators abuse to their own advantage the social instincts most people have.
 
thanks, when I was down there she did that a lot! I had been wondering if she was a sociopath, but with her being my mother and raised like that I didn't really see too much wrong. IDK why I trusted her but it won't happen again
 
Only a competent mental health professional who's actually examined someone can arrive at an accurate diagnosis. That said, it sounds more like bipolar disorder to me. Bipolar people - aka manic depressives - do things like that quite a bit. Charming sometimes, hateful other times, it makes for an interesting cycle. I lived with a bipolar girl for a while. Good times, good times.

It could also be drugs, legal or illegal. If someone is in fact in ill health, they might be taking all sorts of things that could influence their mood and/or thinking.

My advice to your friend would be to go join the Navy.
 
yeah I accidentally let that oune out of the bag a few posts earlier, I really don't like letting people know about her, because a few people have the whole' apple don't fall far from the tree' though and I have tried hard to not be like her, plus I kinda hate the fact I am related to her
 
Crazy K38 said:
because a few people have the whole' apple don't fall far from the tree'
Click to expand...

I've seen apples that rolled quite a ways from the tree once they've fallen.

I wouldn't recommend the military for a young guy with a young family. Especially the Navy (they don't let families on the boat). I'm not just saying this because of obvious reasons, but the Air Force is a great place to raise a family depending on your career, as long as the wife doesn't mind being away from her family. With the right Air Force career you could easily do a 4 year term with no deployment.
 
Gotcha, I missed the post where it was really you. Don't worry about it. Even if insanity does run in a family, it sometimes skips generations or takes different forms. I'm an entirely different sort of crazy than my parents for example. It's more of a genetic predisposition anyway when it comes to things like bi polar disorder. It doesn't mean that a person will develop a given condition.

You might choose to avail yourself of family counseling if you do seek to make ammends with your mother.

My wife left her mother behind for the Navy years ago, and only recently talks to her again. I still avoid my parents. Lots of people have odd family dramas. Heck, my much storied maternal grandfather was going to shoot my father at one point. Don't let it get you down.
 
thanks gator and USAF believe it or not I look forward to reading your posts, I find I can't trust people a can see but i can trust people I have never met! lol, you guys on the forum are about my closest friends
 
If you can't get good life advice from strangers on a gun forum, where can you get it?

Seriously, it's a fairly mature and level headed bunch here and there's usually good advice when members have various personal problems or a crisis that is perplexing them. Many people have varied life experience, so someone usually knows something about even obscure topics.
 
Wow

K-38; Brings back some memories of long ago. Guess my mother was Bi Polar. Sounds like it anyway. She loved & hated in the same sentence. Cursed my Dad & said she loved all of us. Dad died in 1968 & Mom died in 1999. Think Dad died of a broken heart. I had married by then & had 3 kids.Mom deceided she wanted a blood test on my kids. My wife flipped out as you know.We wanted to get her help but NO GO. I feel for you. Keep your head up & things will get better. My Father, Mother, Wife are gone now but I still look for tomorrow. Heading to Calif. next Thursday to be with my kids & grandkids. Makes a nice vacation but I don't stay long enough to wear out my welcome. Have to stay around long enough to vote our Pres. OUT !!!!
 
Sometimes you just have to keep your distance - emotionally and physically - for the sake of your own sanity and that of your wife and kids.
 
Ok, you DO see the irony in your screen name then, right? My ex-wife was bi-polar but she wasn't as crazy as you describe your mother so I'd say your mom has some extra issues. I don't know wow I'd deal with that, I love both my parents and they're still together BUT when the mind starts going things change. I'm sorry you can't have a healthy relationship with her which means your family can't either because you'll put to much stress on them. If your wife hates the idea of the military and considering what you've already put your family through, I'd settle down somewhere and just live a happy life raising a family. If you need to do something for your mother, go visit her but maybe leave the family at home.
 
BarbC said:
Sometimes you just have to keep your distance - emotionally and physically - for the sake of your own sanity and that of your wife and kids.
Click to expand...

Amen to that. Time for some boundaries. It took me a long time to figure out I can love them but don't have to buy into all of their BS. My wife and kids come first now.
 
Crazy K38 said:
oh s***, oh well, yeah it was me not a buddy, but anyway yeah I think she is nuts now
Click to expand...
She sounds like my own dear mother. Have not spoken to her since 2 days before I got married, almost 8 years ago. SHE started another big bunch of drama and I finally said "enough". I hear through the grapevine that if I would just apo;ogize then all would be forgiven......fat chance. I doubt I will apologize for her cussing and then taking a swing at my wife....why she did all that I really have no idea other than she is just a miserable and bitter woman. It sometimes bothers me that my own mother could care less whether she talks to her son or not, but so far it hasnt bothered me enough to return for more of her abusive behavior. I feel for ya, but have no answers myself.....


BTW, after reading your sig line, I think we may have a common friend. Are you a friend of Bill Wilson??

Adam
 
Life is tough enough without having to deal with extreme personality quirks of those around us....

My ex- was what now would be called bi-polar. Much easier to deal with than a parent with the same issue I'd wager.

My best strategy was: step back, stand clear, don't get sucked in.
 
Yup,
Afraid she's nuttier than a Squirrel turd.
In our family, it's my sister. What you discover, only after dealing with a family member who's Bat s**t crazy, is that there are actually two different types of nuts. In one type, they won't be nasty, calculating, malignant sociopaths, but an eccentric flighty moon bat. In the other case however, they are energy vampires who will tap into your very life's essence in an attempt to fill up the yawning chasm of their own emptiness. I watched her do it to my Mother, then my Father and finally me. In fact, though it's been near 10 years since the last one (Dad) passed now I'm still subject to Hezzbolah style legal attacks. So, as Barb and the others have suggested, get and keep as much distance as you can between you and her. Short of a mental health epiphany via medication or therapy, it's the best you can do?
 
Folterung the amateur psychologist:

Borderline personality disorder (BPD) is a psychiatric diagnosis in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-IV Personality Disorders 301.83)[1] that describes a prolonged disturbance of personality function characterized by depth and variability of moods.[2] The disorder typically involves unusual levels of instability in mood; "black and white" thinking, or "splitting"; chaotic and unstable interpersonal relationships, self-image, identity, and behavior; as well as a disturbance in the individual's sense of self. In extreme cases, this disturbance in the sense of self can lead to periods of dissociation.[3] These disturbances can have a pervasive negative impact on many or all of the psychosocial facets of life. This includes difficulties maintaining relationships in work, home and social settings. Attempted suicide and completed suicide are possible outcomes, especially without proper care and effective therapy.[4]
 
Back in the mid '80s, I had problems (not quite that bad) with my mother in Chicago. I just kept at least one state between us and didn't see her for 13 years. She's a lot older and mellower now.
 
well I have disowned her, she tried taking my kids and my family is my life. I have no intention of ever speaking to her again, and that's that, I has been like that and worse my entire life, I am done with her and anyone associated with her, she wants to be the 'bad' crazy fine, but I am the 'good eccentric' crazy and those crazy's don't mix
 
An Italian (ancestry) friend of mine said: "Just because they're family, if they put [fecal matter] on your plate, you don't have to eat it!" . Life is too short to put up with abusive and obnoxious behavior. I have always liked the solution one woman suggested to me. After
her mother died-largely from neglect by her father-she and her husband moved into the family home to keep an eye on the old man. He had to go into the hospital for an extended stay, they made him sign an Elderly Power of Attorney, the house is in their name, his pension and Social Security checks go into their bank account. The old man came home, she informed him that his drinking and smoking days were over, any objections, he had to take it up with his SIL. SIL, 35 years old, 6'2", 230 mostly muscular pounds, old man 67, 5'8", 170 pounds of fat and flab. I've also been told a Louisville Slugger or a Size 10 Steel Cap works wonders.
 
m657 said:
Life is tough enough without having to deal with extreme personality quirks of those around us....

My ex- was what now would be called bi-polar. Much easier to deal with than a parent with the same issue I'd wager.

My best strategy was: step back, stand clear, don't get sucked in.
Click to expand...

+1 Best advice anyone could give!

Almost like fishing and youre the fish... throw the bate out (which is being normal / nice) and once you grab at it you get sucked back in for the BS and then it cycles all over. Going through it now and have been with the in-laws for 4 years now... My wife just finally started doing that stradegy and its been working. But one thing is, things get worse before they get better (people always run out of energy or bad things to say when you show it no longer bothers you though). I know its probably tough due to it being your mom and I wish things were better for ya, but it happens to the best of us... Good luck man!!
 
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