Real serious question, need real advice.

[DCWilson]

If I were in your position, I would tend to distrust any advice I got from people on a public forum that I don't really know that well -- like, for example, the advice I am offering now on this forum. So it's grain of salt time.

I think this situation is serious enough to talk over with an attorney or a family matters counselor or both. People like that can offer the kind of advice you need to hear.

You're in a minefield. While you are figuring out what to do, please just go slow and don't make any hasty steps in one direction or another. And remember the general principle that the worst plans are the ones that can't be changed in response to unexpected developments.

 

[potthawg]

I have been getting the feeling lately that the wool has been pulled over my eyes for quite some time. The last few weeks my wife has been in contact with an old flame, someone from our past that I thought was long gone. Well the last few weeks she has been going behind my back to try to make plans to take my oldest son to see him in a MMA fight. He has no interest in MMA but she keeps making a big deal out taking him without me. I had doubts he was mine when I found out she was pregnant but she convinced me there was no chance of him being someone elses. So now I keep getting this feeling maybe he isn't. Do I go ahead and spring for a DNA test, and while I'm at it do I test my 2 year old son as well? Part of me really wants to know once and for all but part of me also knows that if he isn't mine it would devistate everyone in our families. I just need some real advice from some impartial people and hope someone has some good advice.
Thanks

"The truth shall set you free".

You have doubts about your marriage and the children.
Get the DNA tests. Hire a P.I. to tail your spouse to the MMA match and maybe a couple of weeks afterward.
If your doubts are confirmed then it's time to start taking care of yourself.
Get a good lawyer and start moving your assets to safety. Even lying cheating spouses will get half or more of everything you've accumulated since you first married. You can work on your relationship with the children after the divorce if it comes to that.
DO NOT let your spouse in on what you're doing until the court serves the inital divorce proceeding paperwork.
No man should live with the hell of doubt in a marriage.
Best wishes.

 

[handejector]

You've received some really good suggestions, and a few that the mods deleted.......


As DCWilson says, this serious situation would best be addressed by talking to some pros.
Personally, I would think the primary concern is what do you really want to know, and the various possibilities and repercussions from ALL the possible answers to your questions.
I bid you Godspeed.

Since I think you won't get any better answers, but are quite likely to get more bad advice, I am locking it here.

If I were in your position, I would tend to distrust any advice I got from people on a public forum that I don't really know that well -- like, for example, the advice I am offering now on this forum. So it's grain of salt time.

I think this situation is serious enough to talk over with an attorney or a family matters counselor or both. People like that can offer the kind of advice you need to hear.

You're in a minefield. While you are figuring out what to do, please just go slow and don't make any hasty steps in one direction or another. And remember the general principle that the worst plans are the ones that can't be changed in response to unexpected developments.