DAD: according to pictures, when i was a baby, he loved me and was really intrigued with me
(as every father should be).
after the age of about 8 he never played with me. he only made attempts to spend time with me, when my mother insisted on it; which was once per year if that. i could tell it was fake, and limited. the promises to further the fun times, never came true. i remember he once suggested we build a small wooden bird house. we never hung it. he broke it and threw it out a few weeks later.
(claimed it was taking too much room in the garage). idk why, but that burned into my brain.
5th-8th grade, the physical abuse began:
bad grades turned into belt beatings.
(which was every friday)
helping me with math homework turned into psychological torment/ verbal abuse/ and sometimes physical abuse.
(WHILE MY MOTHER DID NOTHING ABOUT IT)
Around the age of 14ish is where i started answering back, questioning the "NO's", and making small decisions on my own that he disagreed with. He realized it was hard work to raise a teen, and simply
(emotionally) walked away. we could walk past one another 50 times per day, and the only things he would say is:
- 1. your hair looks stupid.
- 2. your breath smells (its funny now, but it sucked then lol)
- 3. you are dressed like an idiot
- 4. make sure you dont do anything stupid today.
around 16, i started having friends with cars coming over. since i was the only one who had a private driveway & garage, we loved to tinker with their cars at my house
(friends lived in apt's). Typical young guy stuff you know: radios, lights, rims, car washes, etc. every-time he would come home from work, he would rip me up about it, right in front of my friends. he basically forced us to leave; without outright saying it.
when i turned 17, and he gave me his old car to use as my own - i wanted to tinker with it. he never helped, never encouraged me, and always yelled at me for it. i had to hide at my GF's house in order to tinker with my car. if he found out i did something, i got yelled at for wasting money
(that i earned by working by the way!). every job i heald after high-school was not good enough. they demanded i find a job with good pay, growth potential, and medical benefits. they pestered me every time they saw me either leaving for a job, or coming home from one. it enraged me. i was 19- *** do you want!??
fast forward a few years later, and i got picked up to extradite prisoners/fugitives for the local P.O. office. i worked around 80 hours per week just to stay out of the house. i traveled all across the country and brought back inmates with warrants from our local jurisdiction. i would come home often with no sleep for 3-4 days and would fall into my bed hoping to not be disturbed. he'd wake me up at 7am for leaving my shoes by the door (that i left to air out after wearing them for 3-4 days).
he's wake me up for sleeping to long (i didnt sleep for days!!!)
he'd wake me up because i parked too close to the mail box, etc. long story short, i joined the army just to get away from it all.
shortly there afterwards, i found the first girl i could
(7yrs older than i) and moved out. i hated every day of it. she was lazy, no good, broad that wasted my time & money. my dad refused to even donate $10 to help me, even buy a bed.
whatever, now we speak seldom; UNLESS HE NEEDS ME TO FIX SOMETHING OR DIAGNOSE SOMETHING IN HIS CARS!!! THE ONLY TIME HE SPEAKS TO ME IS WHEN HE NEEDS MY MECHANICAL SKILLS THAT HE HIMSELF DISCOURAGED!
(thankfully i never stopped working on cars. i can do pretty much anything aside from tranny work)
MOTHER: was always a manipulative, borderline nutso. she worked a lot, but also overly exhausted herself to the point where her nerves were so stressed that if i left a fingerprint on the coffee table - id get beat (literally). she released all her stress on me, instead of addressing her martial issues with HIM!
i did bad in school because i hated life. i hated my home. i hated my parents. i clung to my high-school GF's because their family lives was an amazing concept for me. stress free family dinners, family movie nights, family board games, family weekend local-trips, etc. it was all alien to me. my family didnt do much together unless it was a holiday we had to attend.
Well bad grades led to bad behavior. luckily i NEVER used drugs.
today me and my parents do get along but it has to be simple convos. the minute we spend more than an hour together, tensions rise. me and dad can go for hours and not talk- unless we are bashing liberals
(no offense guys lol). The biggest gripe they have with me, is that i have too tough of a personality. they dont like that i rough around the edges, and can easily say things to them- most kids dont have the heart to tell their parents.
oh well... they get no sympathy from me. YES they did put a roof over my head, and fed me. but thats their job. they dont get credit for doing their job. thats like an employee asking for a raise because he shows up on time.... ahuh- good-luck with that. i love my family. i protect them the best i can. i suggest everything i can to make their life easier. i would give my life for theirs in a heart beat. it hurts, but thats life. i did build a bridge and got over it. i try. they try. but we simply have to maintain a little distance if you know what i mean.
