<<<<<Stupid Drunk Moments>>>>>>

I've never been drunk enough to have this kind of story, but a friend of mine was on shore leave while the Kittyhawk was at Pearl. He was in a bar drinking with this blonde he met at the bar. The next thing he remembers is waking up in a small rowboat about about a mile from shore. Yes, he was late getting back to the Kittyhawk.
 
Had a buddy back in the day who was blasted at a house party back in the teenage days. He decided he had to take a leak, but couldn't get in the bathroom at the overcrowded 3rd floor apartment. I was smoking a cigarette as it snowed like mad on the 3rd floor porch of this rickety old tenement, in Hartford, when Dave came out to take a leak over the railing. Out of the corner of my eye I saw him hurtling through space with a loud thunk when he landed on the garbage cans (steel back then) down below. I ran down the stairs to find him peeing in the shadows up against the house. Dave, you alright?, I asked. Can't tell you yet, he replied, I think I'm dead. A survey of the area revealed 3 snow covered steel garbages cans spotted with blood. He walked out under the light and with a toothless grin proclaimed, that was a hell of a flight.
 
Many years ago I saw a guy get up from the bar, go over to a phone booth in the bar go in and take a leak. About the same time two other people fell off the bar stools not a minuet apart!
 
The first time when I got drunk I was 12 years old on some homemade stuff my father made. The first thing I remember was standing at the top of the basement stairs. Took the first and missed the rest. Stood up and made for the couch against the wall, missed that twice and hit the floor. Then after all that, I tried to go to sleep, and it turns out that was the day the owner of the house was going to fix the stove pipe. Nothing like the sound of a hammer banging a hammer on the stove pipe on top of a hang over. It cured me of drinking right quick.
 
Originally posted by oldfella:
The stupidest thing I did when drinking, is getting drunk.

Pete
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Gotta agree with Pete on this one. Brings to mind Mattie Ross's comment to Rooster Cogburn, " I would not put a thief in my mouth to steal my brains !" Took me a while to learn the truth of that.
 
Originally posted by Grayfox:
Well there was this one time back about 1973. I woke up not knowing where I was and hung over big time. Looking around I came to the realization I was in a really bad fleabag hotel. Looking out the window I realized the hotel was in Mexico! And it wasn't exactly the kind of area where stupid young gringos are welcome at 8:00am.
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I made for the border like my pants were on fire!
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You're lucky you didn't wake up married!
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Doc, I've been gutter crawlin', comode huggin', knee walkin' drunk in my time. But I never got that drunk!
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Of course back in those days I had been drunk enough to rent one for a while.
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Truth be told, in my much younger days I had alot of stupid drunk moments. Mainly because at the time I was a stupid drunk.
This thread has brought up alot of old memories. Most of which I can't relate here. They bring a smile to my face now, but also remind me of why I quit drinking.
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I've had some experiences, but nothing compares to my buddy who got a snoot full one night, and decided to hit the "Gentlemen's clubs" in Windsor, Canada. At the border crossing, he told the customs official that they had no right to question him, as he was a Russian citizen. Took 3 days,and very angry US attaché, to get him out of the clink. He was asked not to further grace Canada with his presence.
 
Could have been worse?
He could have tried to use "diplomatic immunity"!
Or worse yet perhaps, ask for asylum?
 
There was the time a friend and I were flying home from Ft. Sill to Ohio, with a short layover in Chicago. As the plane got airborne leaving Dallas the stewardess came around taking drink orders. How much are mixed drinks, asks my friend. Normally $2, says the stewardess then with a wink adds, but they are free to men in uniform.

Arriving in Chicago I stumble to my gate, handed the boarding pass to the stewardess, then stumble to my seat and doze off. Shortly after the plane gets airborne I awaken to here the pilot say: Welcome aboard Delta flight XZY, we will be arriving in Dallas at approximately 10:34 PM local time.

I think I spent 20 hours trying to get from Dallas to Columbus that day. Too bad the government kept the frequent flier miles, I'd have probably earned a trip to Hawaii.
 
I used to be on a migrant construction crew. One of the guy, Bucky, used to room with the foreman, until the night he got up, drunk, and peed in the foreman's wife's purse. Then she said he had to find another place to live. So he started rooming with me. One night I woke up to find him standing between the beds, peeing in my boots.

My stupid drunk moment was actually two, at the same party. I challenged this one guy to a duel. Don't remember who or why, but I remember slapping him in the face with my glove (it was winter). A little later, I remember getting into my truck, and I remember pulling into my yard. Have no idea how I made the five miles from David's house to mine.

I don't drink anymore.
 
Best drunk moment- Coming to in my friends back seat coming back from the wisconsin dells, digging in my pockets for my phone and coming up with a handfull of casino chips and a frequent player card. I asked what the hell happened and I was handed a digital camera with a full memory card and a whole lotta embarassment.

Most red in the face feel like a Jack a@# drunk moment.- Date number 5 with now wife at a friends bonfire. Woke up on a couch in the middle of a cornfield with her next to me smiling. It seems I apologized for what a terrible husband/ father I'd be in the future, threw up on the cooler proclaimed my love for her and passed out. What lady wont fall for that.

After I stopped drinking me and two of my buddies flew down to Knobnoster (Sp?) Missouri to see a friend of ours stationed at Whiteman AFB. After a night of drinking and hitting the "Gentlemens" clubs, thank god I was the DD, we were a man down when we woke up. A quick and terrified phone call an hour later we pulled up to a trailer park where our missing comrade was standing on a deck of a single wide with a very smitten, very aged, very haggard "Dancer" from the night before. He didnt say one word the last day we were there and to this day we rib him mercilessly about his "True love" in missou.
 
seem to remember going to bed at 2 with a 10 & waking up at 10 with a 2... no more mezcal
 
I have had more than a few but it has been 16 months since I have had a drink.
 
If I told ya-Lee would ban me!
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But I'll tell y'all this-in my many trips around the sun, I have learned not to drink unless I'm already at the place I intend to sleep-or am with someone I can trust (my wife) to drive me home.
 
I have been a bit inebriated and gotten thrown off of a forum once.
Of course, I'd been thrown out of nicer and worse places than that, too- but usually had something to do with chili peppers and pickled eggs.
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