The blonde and the blizzard.

[LoboGunLeather]

Waking up after an overnight blizzard the blonde turned on the radio as she started the coffee and husband's breakfast. Radio announcer reported that city street crews had requested that residents park their cars on either the east or south sides of city streets so snow removal crews could begin snow removal efforts. She promptly went out and parked her car as directed.

Next morning she heard the announcement that all residents should park on either the west or north sides of the streets so snow removal could be continued. She complied right away.

Third day the radio station was off the air, no announcement was heard. The blonde became very anxious and asked her husband what she should do with the car.

He smiled and suggested that just for that day she could leave her car in the garage.

 

[Faulkner]

Must be a smart blonde. Frankly, I can't think of a blonde that could tell you which is east or south or north or west.

 

[Bekeart]

Prediction of Faulkner

Faulkner's wife is not a blonde.

Daisy isn't either.

bekeart

 

[Rustyt1953]

I, my children and a grandson are blonde. We all belong to a "directionally challenged" support group.

 

[Rustyt1953]

 

[Rudi]

I know a couple brunettes who don't know south from east from anywhere.

 

[GypsmJim]

The blonde had her car severely damaged in a hail storm. The collision shop realized the car was totaled, but thought they would have some fun with her. They told her to blow in the tailpipe and the dents would pop out.

The next day there she is on her knees blowing in the exhaust when her blonde girlfriend walked by. She told her the story. The girlfriend walked around the car and then came back to her....

Well DUH, you gotta close the windows.

 

[Ivan the Butcher]

My children all appear normal now that they are grown up, but my oldest and youngest sons were blonde when they were young. They both married blondes. The oldest has a blonde son and daughter, the youngest, two strawberry blonde daughters.

My middle two are brunettes and married brunettes and have 4 brunette sons and one brunette daughter between them.

Some of the earliest outdoor training my kids and grandkids receive is to build and maintain fire and Never Eat Shredded Wheat: North, East, South, & West.

My kids that were or are blonde are not normal! They are SUPERIOR!

Ivan

 

[GypsmJim]

My kids that were or are blonde are not normal! They are SUPERIOR!

Ivan

One of the nicest and smartest ladies i ever worked with was a blonde.

If there was a blonde joke to be told, it was her that told it. In fact, it was her specialty.

Another dear dear friend was polish. Lots of nasty polish jokes told in my area of the world. My buddy was usually the one initiating the jokes and he laughed the loudest.

 

[bgrafsr]

My children all appear normal now that they are grown up, but my oldest and youngest sons were blonde when they were young. They both married blondes. The oldest has a blonde son and daughter, the youngest, two strawberry blonde daughters.

My middle two are brunettes and married brunettes and have 4 brunette sons and one brunette daughter between them.

Some of the earliest outdoor training my kids and grandkids receive is to build and maintain fire and Never Eat Shredded Wheat: North, East, South, & West.

My kids that were or are blonde are not normal! They are SUPERIOR!

Ivan

Ivan, what's wrong with shredded wheat?

 

[s&wchad]

Ivan, what's wrong with shredded wheat?

That's a mnemonic used to learn the points of a compass.

Never Eat Shredded Wheat.

 

[steelslaver]

My youngest step daughter is a blonde.

She is a senior in a public HS, she takes every advanced class, she has never gotten any grade other than an A. She already has nearly enough college credits to be a sophomore when she actually starts college. She belongs to the Scouts and just completed everything needed to become an Eagle scout. She is one of 16.000 students nation wide selected as a semi finalist in the National Merit Scholarship Program. She wants to be a Dr.

She does not take well to blonde jokes

 

[Chik a Boom]

Speaking of blonde jokes...
The best one I ever saw was posted here some years ago-please forgive me I do not recall the author, so please come forward and claim it if it's yours:

Why are there so many blonde jokes?

Because, brunettes have nothing else to do on a Saturday night.

(Take that!)

 

[Krogen]

My sister is a blonde. Some years ago she was having sinus troubles, so the doc ordered a CAT scan of her head. Upon getting the results, she proclaimed "they didn't find anything." And then the jokes started.

 

[steelslaver]

How does a cute blonde change a light bulb? She holds it in the air and waits for the world to turn around her.

 

[fordson]

My lovely blonde wife is Laterally challenged- her lefts and rights are a mystery to her and getting it correct the first try is a lottery at best. However, her road and compass directional sense is surprisingly accurate. She'll argue with the cars NAV system and two out of three times come up with a better/easier route then the system recommends.

 

[Kevin G]

What's an intelligent blonde?
A Golden Retriever.
We have 2 goldens, so my blonde wife thinks this joke is cute.
Kevin G

 

[handejector]

That's a mnemonic used to learn the points of a compass.

Never Eat Shredded Wheat.

Why does mnemonic start with an M? I gots to know!

 

[handejector]

Before the days of 911 automatic addresss-


Blonde is cooking, sets kitchen on fire....
Calls Fire Dept-
Blonde: "Quick, quick! House is on fire!!!! Come put it out!!!"
FD: "OK, lady, how do I get there?"
Blonde: "Well, duhuhhhh.....How 'bout a big red truck?!!!"

 

[bgrafsr]

My wife is a blonde. She has a Master's Degree, was a nurse for 50 some years, worked for a Cardiac Surgeon, taught nursing classes. I would be lost without her.