The dreaded “It’s the gun or me” gauntlet...

[sceva]

My wife ( of 50 years come November ) is great. She does not particularly like guns ( she has her reasons which I understand ) but basically says get what you want and do whet you want with them ( She has even surprised me with one at times ) but don't talk to her about them as she has no interest. She is pretty much the same with my knives, get whet I want but to her they are a kitchen tool (to be put in the dishwasher LOL )

 

[Golddollar]

I seem to have been the one to bring this back most recently...lol.
Not the first forum I've gone necroposter! I'm going to have to avoid the similar posts list and read dates better!

Thread is a good read for younger guys here though, life is too short so choose wisely!

It's more than just guns. As I got older I realized that I had to accept people as I found them. If there is something, anything going on that significantly bothers you, you'd better make a decision as to whether you are willing to put up with it for the rest of your life. I have walked away from at least two relationships because there were things that occurred that made me feel I would end up walking on eggs, and I accepted that it was not going to change. I'm an old bachelor, did I miss the boat?

 

[Old Corp]

I'm on wife #2 - when we were dating, I learned she had a gun safe before I ever did.
Long story short - we wed, and she has no issues with any hardware accumulation I indulge in, or about anything I wanna do.
It's ALL about give and take.
Don't enter into anything with edicts involved......

 

[galena]

Don't let the door hit you in the azz on the way out Sweetheart. I had to break off an engagement to a lovely lady in New York because she couldn't leave and expected me to live there. Not happening.

 

[Protocall_Design]

It's more than just guns. As I got older I realized that I had to accept people as I found them. If there is something, anything that going on that significantly bothers you, you'd better make a decision as to whether you are willing to put up with it for the rest of your life. I have walked away from at least two relationships because there were things that occurred that made me feel I would end up walking on eggs, and I accepted that it was not going to change. I'm an old bachelor, did I miss the boat?

No - you missed the landmine. You can't make someone else change. They will only change if they want to, from the inside. It is far better to find someone you like just the way they are. There will always be minor irritations, but it's a lot easier on everyone if the big things line up. The bottom line is - If you both want to make it work, it will work. It takes 2 to make it work, but only 1 to make it not work.

 

[M29since14]

Well said, Protocall Design.

This thread may be old but I guess it's a "timeless" subject. Ultimatum-givers are bad juju. As someone said earlier along, sooner or later "it will be both." Yup. JMHO.

 

[AzShooter]

My girlfriend is total anti-gun but since we first met at the Arizona State USPSA Championships 20 years ago she doesn't mine my having guns.

Recently we were going to move into assisted living quarters. The problem was that they did not allow guns. I had to sell my meager collection and all my reloading equipment. I was loading 2000 rounds a week on my Dillon 650 but my health was degrading and I don't know how long I would have been able to keep up.

The good news is that when we decided to stay in our house I just bought a couple of .22 Ruger Mark IVs and started stocking up on ammo. I now have in excess of 50K rounds of what my guns like. I just ordered two more cases of Eley Action Plus for Steel Challenge Matches. My practice ammo is CCI Mini Mags which have about the same velocity. Neither give me any problems.

I still let her know when I buy a gun but she doesn't say anything. It's my money anyway and she realizes how safe I am. I also leave all my guns in the safe unless I am working on them or shooting them.

 

[BLACKHAWKNJ]

Again, ask "Who's life is it anyway?" One acquaintance told me he was on active duty for 3 years, 9 years in the National Guard, left because the wife was always whining about his absences. Now, at age 60, still has the wife, doesn't have the pension. Gun ownership is a make or break requirement in a relationship, won't put up with a smoker or a drinker or a drug user either.
Another acquaintance told me what destroyed his marriage was they spent every vacation at his wife's parents. She couldn't let go of her girlhood, they couldn't let go of her.
I am one of those old bachelors-71. Missed the bus ? Lost track of the number of people who used to kid me about it now say they envy my independence, financial security, etc. As the old saying goes, "It is better to be alone than to wish you were. And giving ultimatums is a form of intimidation-and bullying.


People do change, rarely for the better.