Allen-frame
Member
It is with my heart in my throat that I report to my
forum friends .
My son, Mark left us last Tuesday January 19th.
He was 27 years old.
He died of a drug overdose and was found by a friend.
He had been lost to that demon for some time.
We all tried everything we could do,
I spoke his epitaph at a small service yesterday for family
and few friends.
I wrote this a few days ago and read it at the end.
Dedicated to those grieving the loss of a loved one. And to the memory of my son, Mark
I would not wish this on any one. But the loss of those closest to us happens just as certainly as we are alive.
The relationship between child and parent is a special one, no matter how strained in the human experience it has become.
And no matter how prepared for, all death is a shock to the system ,
testing our beliefs and tempering us right where we stand at any moment.
I do not know that anything happens as an accident.
As matter of fact I do believe all things work for good.
Yet being a spirit seeking a human experience there are times when the unbearableness of that human experience tests me.
Guilt , blame, and shame have no place in a life lived to the fullest
and I let go of these demons from the past so I may live free in this precious moment.
All that is not Love is simply fear. And I will not tarnish my sons memory with a shroud of ugliness.
We Loved as we did. In an understanding and spiritual intimacy shared.
When we were together the connectedness was palpable no matter what sad cross we were each bearing at the time.
Another dawn, another sunset, another breath, and we will be together again. This I know.
So, for what time I have left I will honor my sons memory by being the best me I can be.
Reaching out to those around me and sharing my experiences.
And listening, for this is the greatest gift I can give another.
God Bless you my son.
In enduring Love,
Allen
May your children out live you by many many years.
Feel free to post any comments in this thread you wish.
If sharing your story of loss helps, then let it out here.
I welcome your participation.
You may copy or use the above epitaph as you choose.
I just wrote down the words, they came through me, not from me.
Allen
Added to the original post. With Love and Gratitude to my
childhood friend Michael.
Dear Steve and Anita,
Rachel finished her work on earth, and left the stage in a manner that leaves those of us left behind with a cry of agony in our hearts, as the fragile thread of our faith is dealt with so violently. Is anyone strong enough to stay conscious through such teaching as you are receiving? Probably very few. And even they would only have a whisper of equanimity and peace amidst the screaming trumpets of their rage, grief, horror and desolation.
I can’t assuage your pain with any words, nor should I. For your pain is Rachel’s legacy to you. Not that she or I would inflict such pain by choice, but there it is. And it must burn its purifying way to completion. For something in you dies when you bear the unbearable, and it is only in that dark night of the soul that you are prepared to see as God sees, and to love as God loves.
Now is the time to let your grief find expression. No false strength. Now is the time to sit quietly and speak to Rachel, and thank her for being with you these few years, and encourage her to go on with whatever her work is, knowing that you will grow in compassion and wisdom from this experience. In my heart, I know that you and she will meet again and again, and recognize the many ways in which you have known each other. And when you meet you will know, in a flash, what now it is not given to you to know: Why this had to be the way it was.
Our rational minds can never understand what has happened, but our hearts – if we can keep them open to God – will find their own intuitive way. Rachel came through you to do her work on earth, which includes her manner of death. Now her soul is free, and the love that you can share with her is invulnerable to the winds of changing time and space.
In that deep love,
include me.
In love,
Ram Dass
forum friends .
My son, Mark left us last Tuesday January 19th.
He was 27 years old.
He died of a drug overdose and was found by a friend.
He had been lost to that demon for some time.
We all tried everything we could do,
I spoke his epitaph at a small service yesterday for family
and few friends.
I wrote this a few days ago and read it at the end.
Dedicated to those grieving the loss of a loved one. And to the memory of my son, Mark
I would not wish this on any one. But the loss of those closest to us happens just as certainly as we are alive.
The relationship between child and parent is a special one, no matter how strained in the human experience it has become.
And no matter how prepared for, all death is a shock to the system ,
testing our beliefs and tempering us right where we stand at any moment.
I do not know that anything happens as an accident.
As matter of fact I do believe all things work for good.
Yet being a spirit seeking a human experience there are times when the unbearableness of that human experience tests me.
Guilt , blame, and shame have no place in a life lived to the fullest
and I let go of these demons from the past so I may live free in this precious moment.
All that is not Love is simply fear. And I will not tarnish my sons memory with a shroud of ugliness.
We Loved as we did. In an understanding and spiritual intimacy shared.
When we were together the connectedness was palpable no matter what sad cross we were each bearing at the time.
Another dawn, another sunset, another breath, and we will be together again. This I know.
So, for what time I have left I will honor my sons memory by being the best me I can be.
Reaching out to those around me and sharing my experiences.
And listening, for this is the greatest gift I can give another.
God Bless you my son.
In enduring Love,
Allen
May your children out live you by many many years.
Feel free to post any comments in this thread you wish.
If sharing your story of loss helps, then let it out here.
I welcome your participation.
You may copy or use the above epitaph as you choose.
I just wrote down the words, they came through me, not from me.
Allen
Added to the original post. With Love and Gratitude to my
childhood friend Michael.
Dear Steve and Anita,
Rachel finished her work on earth, and left the stage in a manner that leaves those of us left behind with a cry of agony in our hearts, as the fragile thread of our faith is dealt with so violently. Is anyone strong enough to stay conscious through such teaching as you are receiving? Probably very few. And even they would only have a whisper of equanimity and peace amidst the screaming trumpets of their rage, grief, horror and desolation.
I can’t assuage your pain with any words, nor should I. For your pain is Rachel’s legacy to you. Not that she or I would inflict such pain by choice, but there it is. And it must burn its purifying way to completion. For something in you dies when you bear the unbearable, and it is only in that dark night of the soul that you are prepared to see as God sees, and to love as God loves.
Now is the time to let your grief find expression. No false strength. Now is the time to sit quietly and speak to Rachel, and thank her for being with you these few years, and encourage her to go on with whatever her work is, knowing that you will grow in compassion and wisdom from this experience. In my heart, I know that you and she will meet again and again, and recognize the many ways in which you have known each other. And when you meet you will know, in a flash, what now it is not given to you to know: Why this had to be the way it was.
Our rational minds can never understand what has happened, but our hearts – if we can keep them open to God – will find their own intuitive way. Rachel came through you to do her work on earth, which includes her manner of death. Now her soul is free, and the love that you can share with her is invulnerable to the winds of changing time and space.
In that deep love,
include me.
In love,
Ram Dass
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