The loss of a loved one.

[CordWood]

My prayers go out for you and your family. Losing a parent is hard, but a child is a pain that does not depart. Cherish the good times that you have stored up over his life time and relive those when you can.
My heart breaks for you.
May God bless you and strengthen you.
Butch

 

[mr-mom]

Allen:
We here are a family and many, including myself, have felt your pain. At times it is simply unbearable. Time helps heal, but the love and memories are what keep us going. Your thoughts and words, so eloquently expressed, are an inspiration for us all. Our prayers go out for you, your Son, and your family. Please add me to the list of those who stand ready to chat if that can help.
Dave
SWCA #2778

 

[NeoBuckeye]

I can only guess what it is like, losing child. Words just seem hollow.
I am in my mid-40's, my father passed in 2012. His birthday is this Sunday. I have a sister , my mom is still with us. Not that it gets easier with time, but you learn to adjust " to this new normal'.

 

[Viss]

So sorry to hear this. I will pray for peace for you and your family. I too share your pain.

 

[shouldazagged]

I'm very, very sorry to hear this. I can imagine no grief greater than the loss of a child.

I don't profess to know why these awful things happen. The only thing of which I'm confident today is that no matter what comes my way, I'll be given what I need to survive it.

Prayers outbound for you, your family, and all your son's friends.

 

[Triathloncoach]

Number of Deadly Drug Overdoses Rises for 11th Year - Partnership for Drug-Free Kids

It's an epidemic.

And I read 74% are accidental. I absolutely should have died the evening of 11-9-2007. The family was away, I was drinking Jack Daniels, casually popping percocet as I was watching a movie. By some miracle I woke up the next morning on the couch with the TV still on. I was a heavy drinker and had found a bottle of percocet. I figured I took about 25 pills and drank near a fifth. I never abused opiods before. i took so many pills even after I woke up I worried I had OD'd on Tylenol and was heading towards liver failure. It didn't occur to me that I might die. Based on statistics I should be dead for over 8 years now. My heart aches for those not as lucky as me. Most are not. It was only good luck. That was my last drink. No meetings, just quit.

 

[jimbo728]

Im saddened of this terrible news. I know all of your friends on the forum share this and pray that somehow you may find peace in your heart to comfort you.
Jim

 

[Usmc5811]

Allen you and your family are in our prayers. No parent should have to experience this.

 

[Bugkiller99]

Allen, any words I say would ring hollow, and seem small when compared to your poignant eulogy.
I pray for you, your family, those that have suffered the loss of their children.
May His Grace and Peace support and envelope you.

 

[model70hunter]

Allen, I am so sorry for your loss. We lost our son in February of 2009. He was trying to get sober, but crack and women don't mix.Just the the day before he died the girl reenter his life. He was lonely and that made he vulnerable to her and the drugs and sex she brought to him. He died the next night from a burst artery. I got to talk with just hours before he died. He was so ashamed of his laps an wanted to talk ; about three hour later we got the call he did not make it thought the operation. He was just 10 day from his 32nd birthday.

There is nothing that hurts more then losing a child, He was my child I loved him unconditionally. He was a good human being that got lost and turned to drugs to help cope.

I can understand your feelings all I can say the with time you will get use to the pain and you will be able to get on with living. The hole in your heart with continue to be there, fill it with the memories of the goodness that was your son before the drugs.

Gods Peace be with you and your family.

Sorry for the loss of your son.

Very well spoken.

Duane.

 

[Jebus35745]

Allen, that's a tough one. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. Larry

 

[Allen-frame]

Allen, I am so deeply sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing your story and beautifully written and encouraging epitaph. It has made others share and I am sorry for their grief as well. Nobody likes heartache, but I "liked" some posts to show my support.

Someone told me a couple years ago that the pain we feel when someone passes serves to remind us of how much we loved and still do. I could not agree more. I can relate in similar but different ways, and your post surely brought on the waterworks. May the embrace of Christ help carry you, your family, and your son’s loved ones through this difficult time.

I love this poem that helps remind us of the better place our loved ones are in. They are whole again and free! Whenever I see a Yellow Swallowtail, I know it is my best friend saying hello.

Do not stand at my grave and weep by Mary Frye

Do not stand at my grave and weep;
I am not there. I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow.
I am the diamond glints on snow.
I am the sunlight on ripened grain,
I am the gentle autumn rain.

When you awaken in the morning's hush,
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the soft stars that shine at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry;
I am not there, I did not die.

Dear, there is no coincidence.

My Mother was Marian Elizabeth Perrin.
The poet is Mary Elizabeth Frye.
It was her favorite, and
the first thing I read at my sons service.

Along with excerpts from the Prophet

'On Children ' On Joy and Sorrow' and 'On DEath"


Thank you all so very verymuch for all your kind words and Prayers.

God Bless you all.

Allen

 

[jac2010]

I'm so sorry for your loss. I cant imagine the heartache and grief you must be going through. May the love you shared with your son and the love of friends and family bring you comfort in this time of great loss.

 

[Allen-frame]

My good friend Michael in California suggested this letter.








Dear Steve and Anita,

Rachel finished her work on earth, and left the stage in a manner that leaves those of us left behind with a cry of agony in our hearts, as the fragile thread of our faith is dealt with so violently. Is anyone strong enough to stay conscious through such teaching as you are receiving? Probably very few. And even they would only have a whisper of equanimity and peace amidst the screaming trumpets of their rage, grief, horror and desolation.

I can’t assuage your pain with any words, nor should I. For your pain is Rachel’s legacy to you. Not that she or I would inflict such pain by choice, but there it is. And it must burn its purifying way to completion. For something in you dies when you bear the unbearable, and it is only in that dark night of the soul that you are prepared to see as God sees, and to love as God loves.

Now is the time to let your grief find expression. No false strength. Now is the time to sit quietly and speak to Rachel, and thank her for being with you these few years, and encourage her to go on with whatever her work is, knowing that you will grow in compassion and wisdom from this experience. In my heart, I know that you and she will meet again and again, and recognize the many ways in which you have known each other. And when you meet you will know, in a flash, what now it is not given to you to know: Why this had to be the way it was.

Our rational minds can never understand what has happened, but our hearts – if we can keep them open to God – will find their own intuitive way. Rachel came through you to do her work on earth, which includes her manner of death. Now her soul is free, and the love that you can share with her is invulnerable to the winds of changing time and space.

In that deep love,
include me.

In love,

Ram Dass

 

[Doug M.]

There are no words for this. My condolences.

 

[geddylee10002000]

Allen,

Please accept my sincere condolences. I lost my only child Dustin July 21, 2009. He was 22 years old. He was a real clean kid with no vices. Died in his Mom's truck 1 block from the hospital. Heart attack. What keeps me going is the fun times we had together. Sounds crazy but I still talk to him as if on the phone sometimes. I guess it's for me. I always wonder what he would be doing now. Married, kids (grandchildren for me), career, interests, etc.? I guess that is normal in my circumstances. Treasure the moments Allen.

 

[HOUSTON RICK]

My condolences for your loss. I spoke over my fathers new grave a week before your event, different because he was 81 and ready, but it hurt all the same. It is not fair, but God has his plans and they are not for us to understand. Peace be with you always.