Welcome to the Forum, roux. IMHO, one option for you is to take a basic pistol course (NRA-sponsored or local gun shop/range), not just a defensive pistol course. Many have ladies only sessions if that would make you feel more comfortable. These courses are designed to familiarize you with revolvers and pistols of different types, including operation, disassembly and cleaning, etc. If that doesn't appeal to you, then a visit to your local gun store may help. They can show you many different styles and types of handguns for CCW, but the key is to find one that fits you and that you're comfortable with handling/shooting. There's nothing wrong with your 80-year old S&W M&P revolver, but it doesn't fit you. As others have mentioned, practice is key for a CCW handgun, whichever flavor. There are pistol manufacturers like Walther that have developed handguns designed by women for women (PDP F-series). S&W also has ergonomic pistols for smaller hands and easier slide racking (EZ, etc.). And there's nothing wrong with Glocks, Springfields, and Sigs. There are a myriad of revolvers with smaller frames, too. After many trials and errors, my wife settled on a Ruger LCR .22 Magnum revolver for her CCW. Not my first choice for caliber, but it fits her, it's small and light, minimal recoil, and she shoots it well. It also sports a LaserMax red laser and an XS Sights fiber optic front sight. Good luck with your decision!