Most interesting reason I ever got for not coming in to work was, "The power is out and I can't figure out how to operate the manual garage door release." I pointed out to her that we paid her $1k per week (was many years back) to, among other things, use her brain. I strongly suggested that she figure it out and get to work. I also had a "my hair color job went sideways and my hair is now green." That actually worked due to a number of things including a requirement for no bizarre hair styles or colors. The most irritating I think though were payday drunks. Every month, the day after payday, you could count on them having flu symptoms.