"Ice the knee" That's terrible! BWAAA HA HA HA HA HA!
You like terrible? Here's what I tell people who ask about my knee replacements:
"New knees is good knees!"
All seriousness aside, I can't believe they're doing total knee replacements as outpatient day surgery these days. In 2011, at age 67, I had both of mine done in the same week, so I was in the hospital for an entire week. It was major surgery. Both incisions were 8 inches long, and were held together by industrial-strength staples, like those used on large cardboard boxes.
When I awakened from the anesthesia, I found myself attached to the following devices: 1) Oxygen tube, 2) EKG electrodes, 3) IV drip (a second IV was added later), 4) Urinary catheter, 5) Knee cooler, wrapped around the knee with a tube going to an Igloo box with a pump that circulated ice water, 6) Pneumatic foot massager to prevent blood clots. I wasn't going anywhere.
At 6:30 the morning after surgery, they unhooked everything but the catheter and the IV, and had me start walking with a walker. Then it was back to my six-device hookups. Had I just had one knee done, I would have been discharged after three days. Looking back, going home the same day seems pretty scary. During the two post-surgery days in the hospital, I had lots of attention from the staff, including the physical therapist. She bent my knee pretty seriously, considering it was full of newly installed staples. I asked her if they ever popped loose, and she said, "Never".
I was doing so well, that I decided to stay and have the second knee done. By the time I was discharged, my first knee was getting really strong, and I'd become an "old pro" at handling the post surgery stuff. They sent me home with an elevated toilet seat, a walker, a brand-new knee cooler (with the ultra-rare dual knee option), and a prescription for all the hydrocodone I would need. I was told to either stand/walk or lie on my back in bed. No sitting in a chair. And no climbing stairs! I had regular visits from a nurse and a physical therapist for six weeks, at which time I'd fully recovered and was off the hydrocodone. I then had three months of physical therapy to maximize my range of motion. I've been pain-free ever since. Total cost: About $125,000. My out-of-pocket: $0, thanks to Medicare and Blue Cross. Getting the replacements was one of the best decisions I've ever made.