Ungrateful

[29aholic]

One of my demons

I've told very few this story.
Years ago I was in the Pawn shop business, which you can bet I put up with my share of scammers.

I had a couple who were clients. He was a big indian that worked construction and she was a fairly petite white gal. They were in on a semi regular basis, usually to pawn his tools, and he always did most of the talking. A few months go by and while driving home from work I see the gal sitting on the curb in front of conveinence store. I think no big deal as she usually walked everywhere when he was working. About 2 hours later I had to run to the store for smokes or something and she was still there. I asked her if anything was wrong, and she gave me the often heard story that he was beating on her and had to get away. Heard the story several times over the years but she seemed honest and my BS meter didn't flag me (you develop a pretty good one). Anyway, I gave her $50 and the number of a safe house she could stay at, with the understanding it wasnt to be used on drugs etc., and I better never see her with him again or all bets were off.
Sure enough 2 weeks later I see them in the shop together again. I just gave her a look and went on.
About a week later she came and stood outside the door and motioned at me. I asked her what she wanted, she gave me the abuse story and said if I would help her one last time she wouldn't let me down. I told her I was truly sorry but the coffers were closed. She left with a hang dog look.

The front page story of the paper the next was about the big indian beating her to death with a baseball bat. Still haunts me to this day, but I doubt I would have done things different.

 

[feralmerril]

I grew up with a couple close friends that were brothers. They had no real dad except for their wild mothers current boy friend of the moment. I think there was 9 or 10 boys and one girl in the family. One I wrote about the other day.
My one friend lived in california as I did. He had a window washing business on sky scrapers. He got killed, not on his job but fell out of a tall palm tree with a chain saw in his own yard! His brother, a very close boyhood friend was a preacher. He flew in to preach the funneral.
We hooked up before the funneral and he told me how he had to borrow money for the flight, couldnt afford a ticket for the wife etc. This was about 26 years ago. I put a $100 bill in with a sympthay card.
After the funneral he proudly showed me a knife he bought for the $100s at a swap meet the prior day!

 

[Ironhand]

A couple of stories..


We have a paper here in Nashville called "The Contributor", which is known as "The Homeless Paper". The vendors are (supposedly)former addicts and homeless who buy copies of the paper for a quarter apiece, and then later sell it for $1. While many see this as a good plan for "helping out the less fortunate", I see it as glorified panhandling. They are allowed to sell their papers in neighborhoods and in front of businesses that would have gotten them arrested if they had their "Will Work for Food" signs. Now, I never give money to panhandlers because I know that booze or drugs will be bought with my money, and I don't suffer from "White Guilt", either, so I refuse to buy "The Contributor". It's like the sellers are asking, "Give me a dollar, and throw this away for me, too.."

One cold morning last January I'm driving to an early class and I see a vendor standing on his corner, looking VERY cold. He was dressed warmly, but still shivering in the stiff breeze. I had a couple blueberry muffins in the car with me that I was planning on eating when I got to school, but instead I rolled the window down and asked the guy if he was hungry.


"Thanks, but I've got to keep moving, sir, as it's mighty cold out here"

I beckoned him to come closer, and when he was at the window I handed him a warm muffin and said that a hot breakfast would make it just a little bit easier. He took the pastry, looked at me once, smiled, and ate half of it in one bite. I was in too much of a hurry to get him a coffee, as I'll bet it took some swallowing to get all the muffin down. Maybe the gal in the Lexus honking her horn behind me had a latte for him.

As a big Indian(Sioux) I've found that it's not always a good idea to try to help stranded or broken-down women, especially white women. I thought "Dances With Wolves" was supposed to dispel our image of savages and ravagers of virtuous women, but I guess not as much as I had hoped.


I keep jumper cables, a jug of coolant, and a roll of duct tape in the trunk in case I, or someone else, blows a radiator hose on the road. I have had a few occasions where I have offered to assist women who had car troubles, but the position of the keys in their hands(wrapped around the can of pepper spray they don't think I notice)tells me to just leave them alone. Once in a grocery store parking lot as I was walking back to my car with a cart full of groceries I noticed a woman with her hood up and very dim headlights, looking bewildered and scared. I was parked not far from her and told her I could give her car a jump-start as soon as I stowed my groceries. She told me "no thanks" and said someone was coming to help her. As I was getting into my car she asked a white guy walking past her to his vehicle if he'd give her a jump, looking nervously at me again.. He said no, got in his car, and drove away. I took one last look at her and drove off, too...


I think that I may be too young to be a curmudgeon, since I turned 40 not too long ago, but I've had it with charity anymore. Whether it's trying to help out a stranger, only to find out they are terrified of me, getting used by ungrateful family members, or the fake, sugar-coated do-gooderisms I see from many churches and charity groups, I've closed large portions of my self to the public in many ways.

 

[Cyrano]

I can speak a little French,but not very well, I was traveling with a French friend when we stopped for gas. A panhandler approached and gave Jean his hard luck tale. Jean told him "Je ne parle pas l'Anglais", although he speaks English about as well as I do. So the guy approached me; I heard a little of it but told him "Je ne parle pas l'Anglais" with an accent not quite as pure as Jean's, but the panhandler probably wasn't aware of that. He got a disgusted look and wandered off. I told Jean, in French, "sometimes it's convenient not to speak English" and he got a broad grin.

 

[OLDFED]

Years ago in the Panhandler Crapital of the USA...Wash. D. C....one of the newspapers did a story on the pros. One story I remember is the guy who had staked out his corner at the corner where you got off I-95 and went down onto Maine Ave. He was there for years, all day, every day with his cardboard sign. The article said that he admitted to making about $100,000 annually...no taxes...from that spot. He was slick. He'd do a little dance, smile, be friendly and drop the requisite "God Bless You" whether you donated or not. I believe he had a nice house somewhere locally , drove a nice car and ate high on the hog in his "real" life. I often wondered why I was actually working so hard in a real for half that amount, commuting, paying taxes, etc.

 

[Sven]

This has been an interesting 7 pages!

About 15 years ago, I was at the gun counter at the local army/navy store on a busy Saturday afternoon, when I happened to look down to see three $100 bills laying on the floor! I asked the closest clerk if he knew of someone loosing some money. When he just gave me a strange look, I asked to see the manager. I told him what I had found and gave him the bills along with my name and phone number, saying if the guy didn't show up, I would lay claim to the cash. I went back in a couple of weeks later and told one of the gals my name and asked about the cash. She knew right away what I was talking about and said, "Didn't that guy ever call you?" I said no, why? She told me the guy had come back the next day looking for the cash he dropped and when she gave it to him, she gave him my name and said to be sure to thank me. Never heard from the guy, but I didn't turn it in for the thanks, anyway. I would have felt guilty keeping it.

The Bible says many have entertained angels, unaware. I do keep that thought in the back of my head.

My dad taught me to be honest and help people in need. He had worked quite a bit in the Chicago area and didn't have much use for Blacks, but he helped two younger black couples traveling together when the fuel pump quit on their old Chevy at a rest area, and all they had for tools was a 10" Crescent wrench. He looked at me and said "Get the tool box" and dove right in. He hated long hair on guys with a passion, but that didn't stop him from picking up a long hair hitchhiking in the middle of nowhere out west on one of our trips, and taking him along for about a thousand miles.

I've helped whenever I can over the years. The only times I remember, though, are the few times I've driven on by without stopping and wishing later that I did stop.

I have a hard time understanding people who aren't grateful for help, though.

 

[BLACKHAWKNJ]

i recall Jeff Cooper once wrote that you do the Right Thing because it's the Right Thing to Do. Looking back, i find some satisfaction in some of the Right Things I have done anonymously, whether it's returning a lost item, shoveling a sidewalk, whatever. Years ago I found a stack of Russian language books-I studied Russian in high school-left on my front step. Nobody I know owned up to leaving them there.

 

[Straightshooter2]

Many years ago I was checking in a young lady heading off for her freshman year in college. Her father had checked with reservations and was told that she could check 3 bags free but the fourth bag was five dollars (I said it was many years ago!). When her father asked about paying for the extra bag I told him there was no charge which confused him a little. I told him that if his daughter was going to Las Vegas for the weekend with four bags I would charge him but she would be gone for four months (until Christmas) and it wasn't like she was taking things she didn't need. He tried to tip me the $5 but I made his wife take it back as I really could have been fired for taking that. After the daughter's flight left, the father came back by the counter and bummed a cigarette for the drive home. A week later, I got a carton of Marlboro's in the mail. Another night a woman had come in on a flight and wanted to cash a check at the counter. I told her I had just come on duty and only had the minimum in my cash drawer so I couldn't cash a check until I made a sale. She was frantic that she was going to have to call her husband to drive from St. Augustine to the Jacksonville Airport to bring her five dollars to get out of the parking lot. (Either before the ATM was not installed or it was broken) I ended up giving her five to get out of the lot. She told me that she was flying out again the next Monday and would leave the money for me at the counter. I told her not to bother, just drop it in the offering plate at church or give it to someone in need. The next Monday night, I had an envelope, five dollars and a note that said she put an extra five in the collection on Sunday.

But I've also had the opposite happen. Had a guy come by and want to do some yard work for my mother. I told him the grass needed mowing and some other things. He got about half way through and told me that if he had $20 he could get his truck and tools to do a better job. Well, $20 gone and didn't see him for another 3 months when he had the nerve to come back looking for work so he could make money to move to another state. Told him he never finished the work last time so this time I didn't have anything for him to do.

CW

 

[G.T. Smith]

My sons girlfriend ( mother of my grand daughter) is one of those. A lot of times my Wife has bought things like clothes or shoes for the kids and she takes them back to Wal-Mart for the cash.
Peace
gordon

 

[1 old 0311]

This happens more, and more, these days. Manners, and one's word, seem to have got lost long ago. Sad really.

 

[jspick]

I guess I'm a not so good person as I never give money to the people that sit by an intersection by the Wal-Mart and hold up a sign that says need money. Thier clothes are nicer than mine!

Back in the 80's I lived in Denver, what a place to live! There was a bum standing on a street corner a with a sign that said need money for food. He looked down on his luck. I said I'll feed you, where do you want to go? There were several fast food places close by. He said the closest one. I took him to Taco Bell. I bought several dollars worth of food and we talked some but he was eating mostly. When he was done I said where do you want to go? He said I can walk and thank me a lot. I gave him $10 and said to take it just in case. He almost objected but I turned and left. I never felt like I was taken advantage of by that guy. I sure hope things turned out OK for him.

John

 

[rimfired]

If you loan some poor soul 20 bucks or 20 bucks worth of gas and never see them again it was probably worth it!