.... walks into a bar ....

[truckemup97]

OK, let's hear your best "walks into a bar" jokes. Keep it clean, please. If you think Lee might be offended, don't take a chance. I'll start:

A three legged dog walks into a bar. Bartender asks, "Can I help you?"

Dog says, "Yeah, I'm looking for the guy who shot my paw."



Now let's hear yours!!

 

[ChadW]

A corn stalk walks into a bar.

The bartender says, "Wanna hear a good joke?"

The corn stalk says, "I'm all ears!"

.... har har har!

 

[1968hawkeye]

A toothless termite walks into a bar and says,
"Is the bar tender here?"

Hawkeye

 

[USAF385]

A man walks into a bar with an alligator on a leash.

He asked the bartender, “Do you serve lawyers here?”

The bartender said, “Yes, we do!”

“Good,” replied the man. “Give me a beer, and I’ll have a lawyer for my alligator.”

 

[nicky4968]

A duck walks in the bar. He looks up at the bartender and says, "Got any grapes?"
The bartender looks down at the duck and says, "No, we don't have any grapes. And we don't serve ducks. Get out".
The next day, the duck walks into the bar. He looks up at the bartender and says, "Got any grapes?"
The bartender looks down at the duck and says, "I told you, we don't have any grapes. And we don't serve ducks. Get out".
The next day, the duck walks into the bar. He looks up at the bartender and says, "Got any grapes?"
The bartender looks down at the duck and says, "That's it. We don't have any grapes. We don't serve ducks. If you don't leave, I'll nail your flat little feet to the floor".
The duck looks up at the bartender and says, "Got any nails?
"No, this is a bar, not a hardware store.
"Got any grapes?"

 

[sammi357]

A devastatingly handsome guy walks into a bar, walks up to three women having drinks, and in a sexy drawl, says, "For Twenty bucks, I'll do anything you ask, but you have to ask it in 3 words!"
Gal pulls a twenty from her bag, and says, "Paint my house!"

 

[Wheelgunner840]

This is a repeat, but what the heck.

A set of jumper cables walk into a bar, the bartender says, " I'll serve you, but don't start anything!"

WG840

 

[7003006]

Three cowboys walked into a bar, the forth one ducked.

 

[M28]

John Kerry walks into a bar and the bartender asks "What's with the long face?"

Brian~

 

[BarbC]

A man goes into a bar and says, "Give me a drink before the trouble starts." And the bartender pours him a drink. He drinks it and says, "Give me another drink before the trouble starts." He downs that one and says "Give me another drink before the trouble starts." Finally, the bartender asks, "Just when is this trouble going to start?" The man says, "The trouble starts just as soon as I tell you that I don't have any money."

 

[s&wchad]

A baby seal walks into a bar.

Bartender says, “What can I get you?”

Seal says, “Anything but Canadian Club.”

 

[BlackAgnes]

Rene Descartes walks into a bar, sits down and drinks a beer.

When he finishes his beer, the bartender asks him if he'd like another.

"I think not", replies Descartes, and vanishes in a puff of logic.

 

[BlackAgnes]

A priest, a rabbi, and a duck walk into a bar.

The bartender says, "What is this, some kind of a joke?"

 

[cusingeorge]

A dyslexic guy walks into a bra......

 

[ACP230]

Two Irishmen walk out of a bar.

Hey, it could happen!