GatorFarmer
Member
I was an only child, more or less. I have half brothers and even a half sister, but I've never had a relationship with them. They're all much older, about my mother's age. My parents never married, well my Dad was and is, to his wife, who's not my mother. Eh, it was the 1970s, that sort of thing went on. Still does I suppose.
My wife is an only child as well. It worked out that way after her mother either killed, or played a part in having, her father killed when she was a little over two. Eh. I've met my mother in law, she's amusing and witty for a probably murderer (murderess? murdereress?) and as my wife says, what makes me think a junkie drug dealer would have been a good father anyway? It's a harsh world like that.
My sons have it differently. I have two now, Liam - two and a half- and Brody (Broderick) who is fifteen months old. My wife is pregnant with child number three now, though we don't know if it is a boy or girl. The new one will be here in December, before Christmas. Eventually, if all goes well, we hope to have five or six children. A large number these days, but....
The oldest boy Liam suffers from some degree of autism. He's smart enough just... not quite right. Not very verbal and emotional. He's a good kid though. If he needs help later in life... well my wife and I will only live so long. Siblings though, if raised right, well they can take care of one another and avoid things like group homes.
I suppose that is something that I am already trying to instill in them. The almost forgotten concept of family loyalty, unto death if need be. My wife's family are NC hill people, that's intrinsic to them. The maternal side of my family are Scots/Romanians. Both very clan oriented peoples. Maybe it is a genetic thing, a natural urge towards establishingh a family.
My wife told me, somewhat worriedly, that with six children, that all I'd ever be or do would be a stay at home dad, at least for a good long while, since child care for that many is too expensive. We won't really have much in the way of things. Certainly not a Mercedes or a BMW, and my days of wearing a certified Swiss chronometre on my wrist are done.
I told her the truth. That doesn't really matter any more. I used to wear nice clothes, not top of the line, but 1000 dollar or so suits and over coats. I'd spend 100 dollars or more on my ties, that much or more on my shirts, and spend 20-30 minutes a day matching them all up to look just right. Never really made me happy though. There was always something missing.
There continued to be something missing until one day I realized how much I loved my boys and how much they seemed to love me. After a spate of problems, I even somehow fell head over heels in love with my wife. Go figure. Four years and three kids and I'm crazy about the woman.
Anyway, what's interesting is to watch Liam and Brody interact. They fight. A lot. They'll fight over the same bear, the same toy car, the same cap gun, the same wrestling toy... Doesn't matter if I give them each one, they'll want the one that the other had. Oddly, Liam, the older and larger boy, is usually bullied by Brody. Brody is just a tough and mean kid. Even more obstinate than his brother. Takes after his mother, who was stubborn enough to stay married to me I suppose.
What's interesting is what they do when they don't fight. They cooperate. Liam knows how to open packages to get at cookies and stuff, Brody doesn't. Thus Liam will always forage each morning to look for whatever snacks I've hidden (I've been deliberately teaching him to forage). Whatever he finds, or if Brody finds it first, Liam will open it and they'll share. Liam also knows how to fill a container with water, and he'll offer it to Brody. He'll even tell me if Brody lost a shoe or needs a new diaper.
At night, they'll sometimes hug each other. Makes up for the fights during the day I suppose.
Liam was fifteen months or so old when Brody was born. I suppose that as far as he'll ever remember, that there was always a Brody. Brody, well he's never not known a life with a big brother to give him cookies, show him how to play with trucks, etc. Liam even tries to teach him about the wrestling on TV and show him books.
Liam will be just over three when the new baby comes, perhaps seven when the last baby comes. Essentially all his memories, all of all their memories, will involve their always being each other.
Liam now asks me for "ammo" when he shoots his cap gun dry. Lately he brings me Brodys and wants me to load it too. Funny what kids pick up. (Ask Liam what makes the grass grow, and he'll reply "Blood, blood". Don't raise your kids to be soft or a victim, love them and care for them, but teach them that the world is a rough place these days and perhaps always was.)
Today Liam wanted a stuffed animal, he calls them monkeys save for "bear" which is the good Gund bear that he and his brother fight over. I let him pick one today. He grabbed a second, handed it to his brother and said "monkey, Brody". Eh. They were on clearance anyway, so I got them both one. (So, oddly was a 5900 series factory mag, half off in fact. Good day all around I suppose...)
It just seems odd a times, how much Liam tries to take care of his brother. Not that Brody really understands it much now, but as I tell him, "Your brother made sure that you always had a cookie, you take care of him, no matter what."
That's the gist of it having siblings I suppose. Like them or not, they're family, you take care of them.
Eh. No pension plan as a homemaker, maybe my kids will remember that I was a decent father. At least I'm around. I talk to them, make sure that they get snacks (and not just mom's awful cooking) and get to stay up late to watch wrestling. There's worse dads.
I used to miss not working. But having two kids and a third on the way... It becomes a job unto itself. Maybe the most meaningful one that there is, certainly more important than most. I'm around all the time. Oddly, I stopped wanting much in the way of time to myself. It just became natural that where I went, I'd take the boys. Thus even before there was a Brody, Liam would be sitting in the cart at a gunshop looking through magazines while daddy shopped. Shrug.
I don't know. I never had a brother, or even much in the way of a family. I don't know how it is supposed to work. I never even had a father so I just wing it. Make it up as I go along. I'm probably wrong in half I do (I never ate much veggies and I'm fine, so eh... Have a stick of butter for a snack boys...). I'm around though. All the time I'm around. when they're sick, when they puke on me, when they wake up scared of the dark and need a flashlight.... I'm there for it.
I used to think, for a brief time, that I'd wasted my life and every opportunity. Lately, I've come to think that everything somehow prepared me for this. That this is what I was meant to do.
If I do it right, or at least close enough... Then Brody will help take care of Liam.
Not that there is any reason to think that there would be a problem, but with the standard genetic testing, my wife and I got to talking about what we ought do if we found out the new baby would have down syndrome or something. There was no question in my mind. Have it and love him or her. Then keep having more to help one another.
My wife warned me that Down syndrome kids tear marriages apart. I said I didn't care. So does being a military spouse, so does having a child with autism. Some things just seem meant to be and you do the best that you can.
Liam isn't right, but he's the most loving and sweet child at times. Maybe he'll be fine on his own. If he's not... Well then that's what having siblings are for I suppose.
My wife is an only child as well. It worked out that way after her mother either killed, or played a part in having, her father killed when she was a little over two. Eh. I've met my mother in law, she's amusing and witty for a probably murderer (murderess? murdereress?) and as my wife says, what makes me think a junkie drug dealer would have been a good father anyway? It's a harsh world like that.
My sons have it differently. I have two now, Liam - two and a half- and Brody (Broderick) who is fifteen months old. My wife is pregnant with child number three now, though we don't know if it is a boy or girl. The new one will be here in December, before Christmas. Eventually, if all goes well, we hope to have five or six children. A large number these days, but....
The oldest boy Liam suffers from some degree of autism. He's smart enough just... not quite right. Not very verbal and emotional. He's a good kid though. If he needs help later in life... well my wife and I will only live so long. Siblings though, if raised right, well they can take care of one another and avoid things like group homes.
I suppose that is something that I am already trying to instill in them. The almost forgotten concept of family loyalty, unto death if need be. My wife's family are NC hill people, that's intrinsic to them. The maternal side of my family are Scots/Romanians. Both very clan oriented peoples. Maybe it is a genetic thing, a natural urge towards establishingh a family.
My wife told me, somewhat worriedly, that with six children, that all I'd ever be or do would be a stay at home dad, at least for a good long while, since child care for that many is too expensive. We won't really have much in the way of things. Certainly not a Mercedes or a BMW, and my days of wearing a certified Swiss chronometre on my wrist are done.
I told her the truth. That doesn't really matter any more. I used to wear nice clothes, not top of the line, but 1000 dollar or so suits and over coats. I'd spend 100 dollars or more on my ties, that much or more on my shirts, and spend 20-30 minutes a day matching them all up to look just right. Never really made me happy though. There was always something missing.
There continued to be something missing until one day I realized how much I loved my boys and how much they seemed to love me. After a spate of problems, I even somehow fell head over heels in love with my wife. Go figure. Four years and three kids and I'm crazy about the woman.
Anyway, what's interesting is to watch Liam and Brody interact. They fight. A lot. They'll fight over the same bear, the same toy car, the same cap gun, the same wrestling toy... Doesn't matter if I give them each one, they'll want the one that the other had. Oddly, Liam, the older and larger boy, is usually bullied by Brody. Brody is just a tough and mean kid. Even more obstinate than his brother. Takes after his mother, who was stubborn enough to stay married to me I suppose.
What's interesting is what they do when they don't fight. They cooperate. Liam knows how to open packages to get at cookies and stuff, Brody doesn't. Thus Liam will always forage each morning to look for whatever snacks I've hidden (I've been deliberately teaching him to forage). Whatever he finds, or if Brody finds it first, Liam will open it and they'll share. Liam also knows how to fill a container with water, and he'll offer it to Brody. He'll even tell me if Brody lost a shoe or needs a new diaper.
At night, they'll sometimes hug each other. Makes up for the fights during the day I suppose.
Liam was fifteen months or so old when Brody was born. I suppose that as far as he'll ever remember, that there was always a Brody. Brody, well he's never not known a life with a big brother to give him cookies, show him how to play with trucks, etc. Liam even tries to teach him about the wrestling on TV and show him books.
Liam will be just over three when the new baby comes, perhaps seven when the last baby comes. Essentially all his memories, all of all their memories, will involve their always being each other.
Liam now asks me for "ammo" when he shoots his cap gun dry. Lately he brings me Brodys and wants me to load it too. Funny what kids pick up. (Ask Liam what makes the grass grow, and he'll reply "Blood, blood". Don't raise your kids to be soft or a victim, love them and care for them, but teach them that the world is a rough place these days and perhaps always was.)
Today Liam wanted a stuffed animal, he calls them monkeys save for "bear" which is the good Gund bear that he and his brother fight over. I let him pick one today. He grabbed a second, handed it to his brother and said "monkey, Brody". Eh. They were on clearance anyway, so I got them both one. (So, oddly was a 5900 series factory mag, half off in fact. Good day all around I suppose...)
It just seems odd a times, how much Liam tries to take care of his brother. Not that Brody really understands it much now, but as I tell him, "Your brother made sure that you always had a cookie, you take care of him, no matter what."
That's the gist of it having siblings I suppose. Like them or not, they're family, you take care of them.
Eh. No pension plan as a homemaker, maybe my kids will remember that I was a decent father. At least I'm around. I talk to them, make sure that they get snacks (and not just mom's awful cooking) and get to stay up late to watch wrestling. There's worse dads.
I used to miss not working. But having two kids and a third on the way... It becomes a job unto itself. Maybe the most meaningful one that there is, certainly more important than most. I'm around all the time. Oddly, I stopped wanting much in the way of time to myself. It just became natural that where I went, I'd take the boys. Thus even before there was a Brody, Liam would be sitting in the cart at a gunshop looking through magazines while daddy shopped. Shrug.
I don't know. I never had a brother, or even much in the way of a family. I don't know how it is supposed to work. I never even had a father so I just wing it. Make it up as I go along. I'm probably wrong in half I do (I never ate much veggies and I'm fine, so eh... Have a stick of butter for a snack boys...). I'm around though. All the time I'm around. when they're sick, when they puke on me, when they wake up scared of the dark and need a flashlight.... I'm there for it.
I used to think, for a brief time, that I'd wasted my life and every opportunity. Lately, I've come to think that everything somehow prepared me for this. That this is what I was meant to do.
If I do it right, or at least close enough... Then Brody will help take care of Liam.
Not that there is any reason to think that there would be a problem, but with the standard genetic testing, my wife and I got to talking about what we ought do if we found out the new baby would have down syndrome or something. There was no question in my mind. Have it and love him or her. Then keep having more to help one another.
My wife warned me that Down syndrome kids tear marriages apart. I said I didn't care. So does being a military spouse, so does having a child with autism. Some things just seem meant to be and you do the best that you can.
Liam isn't right, but he's the most loving and sweet child at times. Maybe he'll be fine on his own. If he's not... Well then that's what having siblings are for I suppose.
