When insults had class

[pawngal]

A favorite of my long gone Mother's
"if it cost him a dime to take a pee, he'd have to hold it"

Said in reference to what she called
10 cent millionaires.

 

[Doug M.]

Most of the ones I use, even when they don't have words that would generate a string of "*", are probably going to fall off the far edge of "family friendly", so I will respect the Gorilla's tender delicate sensibilities and not put them here.

 

[walkin jack]

I always admired Churchill and Twain's ability to insult someone so eloquently that it took a moment to realize that it was an insult.

I love the way people spoke in earlier times. I've read letters written by union and confederate soldiers to and from their loved ones. Most weren't anywhere near being literary but they were eloquent none the less in their simplicity and gentle style.

Makes me sick how the language has been butchered, spoken, in print and, the latest and most devastating thing, texting on cell phones. If things continue to degrade at this rate of escalation we will soon be back to grunts and clicks and squeaks where we started.

I guess I just got carried away here sorry for the rant.....

 

[Bat Guano]

"His altar has a mirror on it."

 

[LoboGunLeather]

"There are those who would give up every eatable, every drinkable, and every smokable, all in the name of health. And health is all they get. It is like paying out one's entire fortune to buy a cow that has gone dry."

Samuel L. Clemens (Mark Twain)

 

[Old TexMex]

"There are those who would give up every eatable, every drinkable, and every smokable, all in the name of health. And health is all they get. It is like paying out one's entire fortune to buy a cow that has gone dry."

Samuel L. Clemens (Mark Twain)

Now THAT ONE is gonna travel, amigo.

 

[Marshwheeling]

"Dr. Johnson, your member is sticking out."

"You flatter yourself, Madam. It's hanging out."





"Sir Winston, you are drunk."

"I am, Madam, but you are ugly, and in the morning I'll be sober."

 

[steveno]

I worked with a guy that could tell you in such a nice way to go to hell that you would enjoy the trip

 

[boatme99]

On Art Garfunkle;

"He makes Paul Simon look like LL Cool J"

Ian Gittins

 

[boatme99]

"An editor should have a pimp as a brother so he'd have someone to look up to."

Gene Fowler

 

[soFlaNative]

"I'm all in favor of keeping dangerous weapons out of the hands of fools. Let's start with typewriters." —Frank Lloyd Wright

 

[boatme99]

My dear McClellan,
If you don't want to use the army, I should like to borrow it for a while.
Yours respectfully,
Abraham Lincoln

 

[LVSteve]

James May to Jeremy Clarkson on British Top Gear regarding a technical explanation:-

"Jeremy, I can't explain it to you. I get dizzy just trying to think down to your level."

 

[Kinman]

"Its not whats for dinner that bothers me, its whats on the chairs." Andy Kapp

 

[drgbike]

William F. Buckley eloquence at its pinnacle.