You Know, Sometimes I Can Be A Real Jerk

[Smoke]

I was walking my dog about a week ago and had a run in with a mooch.

The halls in the Apartments I live in let onto an entry way before you go outside, so I open the door to the outside and there's a guy standing right off the steps and the first words out of his mouth are "excuse me, do you have a cigarette?"

A little background here, first, Mooches are one of my biggest pet peeves second the way he said it, with no hesitation at all tells me that this behavior is common to him and third the fact that his buddy was sitting there smoking sent up a red flag in my mind.

So, I told them I don't smoke (true) then asked them if they lived in our apartment complex.

More background we've had issues with homeless people trying to squat in our parking lot and around our buildings, we've also had several auto break ins .

They hemmed and hawed their answer so I told them "If you don't live here you need to leave now."

Anyway they took off. And I went about my business.

So, today I'm out walking my dog again and I ran into some young people sitting (early 20s) on the steps of one of our buildings. One of them tells me I have a nice dog then asks if it's my dog.

I'm sorry but that's a stupid question and (for me) it raises red flags because I'm wondering why this random person is trying to engage me in some nonsensical conversation. (I've had people use similar behaviors to get close to me then attack) so I look at the guy and say "Nope, I stole her."

And he just looks at me like he doesn't know what to say and I keep on moving. His buddy says "Sorry for asking." And I'm still moving.

Then the first guy looks at me and says "By the way Sir if you harass my brother again I will call the Police on you." I'm thinking what the Hell?" and I say "By all means please do" (still moving away) and the guy says something about how he's going to pray for me and God bless me and have a nice day.

By this point I'm not saying anything I'm just leaving the area and it wasn't till I got home that I put two and two together and realized that the "brother" must have been the mooch.

The thing that I have to remember is that no matter how wrong these guys were (and both of them make the hair on the back of my neck stand up) I escalated the situation with my mouth.

I don't have the authority to ask anyone to leave the apartment complex homeless or otherwise and in both cases my mouth could have written a check that my butt couldn't cash.

My problem is that I tend to forget my mouth is loaded and get to playing with it and have it go off.

I need to find a way to get that one split second to think about what I'm going to say before I open my mouth.

 

[427mach1]

Why don't you have the authority to ask loiterers to leave? You live there, they don't and they apparently have no legitimate reason to be there.

 

[Peak53]

Smoke
I don't think there was anything about being a jerk in what you said. While it mostly pays not to lead with one's mouth or chin, I don't think you stuck it too far into anyone else's business, which was exactly what your two friends were doing. Looks to me they were the one's being a bit in your space. If I get spare changed, I just say "Sorry, no," and keep walking.

 

[ralph7]

Good post, I really try to keep my mouth shut as well any more. You also might have a scowl going on when you come back with these remarks, which wouldn't help things.
I see myself as a bitter old fart in a lot of today's happenings, but I really try (it's hard) to not speak what I'm thinking half the time.

 

[Smoke]

Why don't you have the authority to ask loiterers to leave? You live there, they don't and they apparently have no legitimate reason to be there.

The Apartments are not posted no trespassing and I am not acting as an agent of the property owner. Also in this case I was dead wrong and tried to move an actual resident along.

 

[Smoke]

Something else to think about

Let's say the two guys took offense at my asking them to move along the first time. I just created or escalated a situation that could have been avoided.

Also the guy I asked to move a long was either e resident or a visitor of a resident of the apartments and had every right to be there.

What happens if he or his "brother" go to the office and complain tomorrow?

Even if nothing else happens I've made an enemy. I don't see any upside to this.

 

[lockjawcrazy]

Don't be a panzy man! You have every right to ask someone if they live there. I have lived in **** hole apartment buildings before and if more people would of asked more questions they might not of had the issues they had! I always asked strange people what the hell they was doing. Especially just sitting there watching...has suspect written all over it. Maybe its because I have kids or maybe its the soldier in me been me whatever it was it always paid off. Besides most apartments ont allow smoking in common areas anyways.

 

[Engine49guy]

Sounds like you need a meaner dog !



Nothing says "No free smokes here Bud" like a mouth full of pearly white K-9's !

 

[RevolvingPistol]

Don't worry about it, happens to the best of us. Besides, it doesn't sound like you were out of line or anything.

 

[turbo6]

I'm like that too.

Weird, sketchy type people bring out the worst in me.

But I don't want to seem weak, or easily taken advantage of...so that's my first line of defense.

As far as moochers go...you are either an enabler or not. Giving them a cigarette one day means they ask you again...and again.

I have a hard enough time trusting people I know, let alone random strangers asking stuff of me.

 

[Kanewpadle]

I think you are right. Don't be a jerk. Go about your business and don't attract attention.

People could be visiting another tenant. Or just passing through. It is a free country. And like you said, there are no signs posted.

I myself don't say much. The look on my face and my demeanor tell them all they need to know. If someone asks what my business is, I may or may not tell them. Depends on what they say and how they approach me. If they're a jerk then I turn into a jerk. Even if they're nice, I still don't say much. Ain't none of they're business anyway.

 

[Smoke]

Don't be a panzy man! You have every right to ask someone if they live there.

I have a right to ask anyone any question I choose.

What I DON'T have is any legal authority to demand an answer.

Example

Smoke: Do you live here?

Random mooch: None of your business.

Aaaaand I'm dead in the water

 

[Kanewpadle]

Don't be a panzy man! You have every right to ask someone if they live there. I have lived in **** hole apartment buildings before and if more people would of asked more questions they might not of had the issues they had! I always asked strange people what the hell they was doing. Especially just sitting there watching...has suspect written all over it. Maybe its because I have kids or maybe its the soldier in me been me whatever it was it always paid off. Besides most apartments ont allow smoking in common areas anyways.

A pansy huh?

I could give a **** about what people on the street think of me.

As a man grows older, there are three very important things he learns.

1. Never assume

2. Never rush to judgement

3. Avoidance

The immature mind games just don't matter.

 

[Smoke]

A pansy huh?

I could give a **** about what people on the street think of me.

As a man grows older, there are three very important things he learns.

1. Never assume

2. Never rush to judgement

3. Avoidance

The immature mind games just don't matter.

You forgot number 4. Never let your Battleship mouth override your rowboat butt especially if you're carrying a gun

 

[lockjawcrazy]

A pansy huh?

I could give a **** about what people on the street think of me.

As a man grows older, there are three very important things he learns.

1. Never assume

2. Never rush to judgement

3. Avoidance

The immature mind games just don't matter.

Nope...if I would of ever used any of those then I would of never survived the 2 car jacking's I was in.

 

[Kanewpadle]

Nope...if I would of ever used any of those then I would of never survived the 2 car jacking's I was in.

You don't understand my meaning. Which is fine.

Nobody said you weren't supposed to defend yourself. But running your mouth is entirely different.

 

[Rastoff]

Also the guy I asked to move a long was either e resident or a visitor of a resident of the apartments and had every right to be there.

How do you know that? Nothing in either of the encounters answers the question of whether or not he had a legitimate right to be there.

I have a right to ask anyone any question I choose.

What I DON'T have is any legal authority to demand an answer.

Example

Smoke: Do you live here?

Random mooch: None of your business.

Aaaaand I'm dead in the water

You're right, they don't have to answer. However, reasonable people have reasonable conversations. It should have gone like this:

Smoke: Do you live here?
Unknown Person: No, I'm just visiting my brother.

That could have been the end of the conversation.

Considering you've had some trouble with vagrants before, the question is not unreasonable. I don't know what the laws are in CO, but in most places it's not illegal to ask a vagrant to move along from a place you are renting. If they're not paying rent, they have no right to be there. Now, if he's not actually on the building, like standing on the steps, then it depends on how the municipality treats the sidewalks. If they are maintained by the city, then they are public property and you can't ask him to leave until he's broken some law.


On another tack, you've posted several of these stories. Sounds like you live in a sketchy part of town. Any chance you could move elsewhere?

 

[Ranger514]

Dude, you live in CO. Whas the prob? Smoke some herb, and mellow

 

[bbqbob51]

The thing to remember about encounters with strangers is they are strangers. You have no idea what they are capable of doing seeing as you don't know them. They could have any number of issues that could make them dangerous so why take that chance just because you are feeling strong that day.
What if it escalates and you happened to be armed with a firearm and choose to shoot and you seriously injure or kill one of them. Imagine explaining to a jury that it all started with one of them asking you for a cigarette and you took exception. I personally feel that when I carry I have to always be the responsible adult. I wouldn't hesitate to use my firearm if I felt my life was in danger, I wouldn't carry unless I was willing but I hope I would have the discipline to not initiate the conflict. Remember, behind every bullet is a potential attorney or a DA Looking to make a name for himself/herself.

 

[whittsailor]

I got home today from visiting with relatives out of town for a few days only to find that we were robbed. We live in the country and life is pretty quiet. They didn't get much, must have gotten spooked. but they did get my wife's jewelry box and her Sig 238. Luckily I was able to give the responding officer the serial number. Anyways ,you can never be too careful these days. I don't blame you for questioning strangers in your complex, and thanks for letting me share...