You know you are a mall ninja when ...

I'm not saying my future grandson in law is a mall ninja , but he's trying to find a camo tux to marry my granddaughter in.
PS: i heard they already got married! (obviously behind your back)
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....must be a GA thing lol
 
YOU MIGHT BE A MALL NINJA: if you once worked mall security, but still keep your uniforms, you know.... JUST IN CASE lol

YOU MIGHT BE A MALL NINJA: if your car is worth less than "SHTF" accessories you have on/in it (ie; LED light bar, push bar, off-road tires, black rims, spot light, blinking lights, police scanner, siren, etc)

YOU MIGHT BE A MALL NINJA: if you purposely "ranger roll" your baseball cap (only a few will know what i am talking about lol)
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YOU MIGHT BE A MALL NINJA: if you own a retired CVPI (crown victoria police interceptor) that you decked out to look like an unmarked car

YOU MIGHT BE A MALL NINJA: if you lower your voice, to sound just like Mykel Hawke:
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If you bought a weapon because it looked like the one Tom Sellck used in Quigley Down Under...

You might be a Mall Ninja.

Guilty as charged but I don't have a bayonet or flashlight mounted on my "Italian" Sharps. It ain't a real fast shooter, but at 420 grains of lead at a pop it can keep up with the weight count of the wonder guns. Five shot clover leaf at 100 yards ain't bad when you consider it was 2,100 grains of lead in the same place. :D
 
You may be if:
1. You DVR every episode of Tactical Defense or Tac TV

2. You think Larry Vickers is a baddass, even though he is 200 pounds overweight and is huffing and puffing so bad when he runs 20 feet with his ultimate Daniels Defense rifle/carbine.

3. Your Hero's in life are said Vickers, Hawk, Mack and Michael Bain! (and for real your BIL is a retired SEAL and knows 2 of them and said they were pussies)

4. You have a PS3 knuckle instead of Glock knuckle!
 
You might be a mall ninja if all your add-ons are colored red, white and/or blue ...

Charging handle ... barrel shroud ... brass deflector ... scope mounts ...
 
You carry six spare magazines, brass knuckles and a three-million-lumen flashlight to breakfast at Denny's.

You buy camo suppositories from Cheaper Than Dirt.

You purchase a "Commando dagger" for $6.99.
 
MALL NINJA

in an attempt to learn about SKS'S I may have accomplished the perfect storm of being a mall ninja, a Bubba, and a redneck. when cutting down the bbl of your pitted Yugo, you cut off the only non pitted section that actually stabilized the bullet, in sharpening the bayonet like a razor you have spilt your own blood more than once, and you are trying to figure out a way to inlet a set of brass knuckles into the underside of the butt stock. a classic case of BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU WISH FOR.
 
When you primary home defense weapon is a Ruger 10-22.

Especially if it has an Archangel stock with all of the bells and whistles added.
 
You might be a mall ninja if you smirked about about the 22LR shortage as you pack away the 25,000 rounds of Super Colibri 22 ammo you just scored off Gunbroker...

You might be a mall ninja if you put $750 of tacticool parts on your $450 15-22 and then refer to it as your Home Defense gun because you are saving up to buy a shotgun...

You might be a mall ninja if any of your gear has the word zombie or lime green paint on it...
 
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