How do you react when a stranger approaches you in public?

[old bear]

That depends on where I am and most importantly what the person approaching me looks like and their body language. If it's someone who needs help with directions or the like I offer whatever help I can give. The second I hear the start of a *** story, they get the "look" and explain in no uncertain terms I don't have any money for them and I'm not paying for any of their gas or whatever they want.

 

[Kanewpadle]

All the bums around here in Cali are transfat and gluten free. Guess it's catching on elsewhere.

Only in Hollywood.

 

[yaktamer]

When it comes to panhandling, I pretty much NEVER give people anything. However, the other day I stop to get gas and this gal comes up to me with the "Excuse me sir, but...." and explains that she just needs some help with gas to get home on the other side of town. I'm about to say no, figuring she's scamming for $ for drugs or booze, when she says, "You can pump it yourself." She points to her truck at the next pump. You could have knocked me over with a feather. I guess I'm just getting to cynical in my old age. Anyway, I gave her some cash, she pumped her gas and drove off.

 

[feralmerril]

I know I told this one before, but I like it so dont stop me!
I assume the average age on this site is a lot less here than my 71. I was raised in centeral wisconsin in the 40s and 50s. No big citys in that area so possibly I could have got a false impression. I dont remember ever seeing a panhandler in those days. There may have been a incident or two of a bum passing through knocking on your door offering to chop wood or work for a meal. I had no experiance even seeing a panhandeler untill I came west in the 60s. When I lived in california I reconised some of the same panhandlers for a generation! I mean they worked the same area for over 10 years and better!
I have went both ways on the deal. At times I belittled and refused them, and at other times I have taken them in resturants and ate with them. I have taken them to a cheap motel and paid their rooms for a few days in advance, but overall, I have many more times refused them
any money. I guess I went by my sences of beliveability and snap judgement. I have blew up at a few.
I have had 12 year old kids ask me for money in stores that were well dressed like they expected it to buy a toy or snacks! I belive that made me even madder than older poorer bums that seemed to really need help.
Once I was entering a coffee shop for a chat with friends. A older black woman asked me for gas money so she could go pick up her chillen at school. I gave her a few bucks and silently observed she seemed old to have school age kids. My buddy saw me give her money as he waited inside for me. He asked about it than roared with laughter saying, "Ya dang fool, there aint no school open today, this is memorial day!
Once I was starting to leave my house and a lincoln mark pulled up in front. This older black guy got out, walked straight up to me and was crying. I come here to tell ya my wife died this morning! Well I am sorry to hear that, but I dont even know any black women, are ya looking for sombody else that knows her? No, she told me she had talked to you about a week ago and that yo wuz a nice christian man. ( I faintly rememberd a black woman walking by and trying to engage me in conversation about that time frame.) I had been set up! Then he asked me if he could come in my house and me pray for him! I yet hadnt put his game together, and being a christian, what do you do? I said okay, let him in and prayed with him. Then he proceeded to tell me how he had to take his kids to san diego to his sister for a week or so untill the funneral was over but didnt have gas money. He explained he was about 25 years older than his wife and they had young kids.
I said I would loan him $200 to make the trip. About 4 days later here he came again and told me he hadnt forgot the loan and was going to get some more money up to go to a pawn shop to get out his new browning 380 that his wife bought new last christmas and he never fired, and that when he bailed it out he was gonna sell it and pay me back.
Of course when he was to my house the first time he no doubt seen numerous gun magazines and books!
Larcaney took over. I had earlier once owned the same gun and knew the value. Tell ya what I will do. Heres another $100s. Go get that gun bailed out, bring it ta me, and we will square the deal.
I am still waiting for my browning .380!

 

[Onomea]

Feral, my take is you are a good man. And I believe that the good Lord will reward you.

God bless.

 

[brucev]

When approached by a stranger, I face them and speak plainly letting them know that I will not be responding to any request for money, etc. If I am accompanied by my wife, etc., I will interpose myself between them and the stranger and be prepared to act if necessary. If I am alone, I will be prepared to move to safety as I consider that a better choice than confrontation. If the stranger is acting illegally, I will let the police handle it. If forced to it, I will handle it. On two occasions in 33 years, circumstances required that I handle a situation. I managed to do so without anyone being greatly injured, etc. Happily I sustained no injuries at all. Cool. Nowadays, I use more common sense that was the case earlier in my life. I do not throw caution to the winds and just go right ahead and do as I please. I think that caution and common sense have allowed me to not have to repeat the two referenced incidents. Cool.

 

[David LaPell]

We don't have alot of people here asking for money, but the ones that do are ex-inmates so I usually spot them quick and then they leave me alone. We just had an article locally about one "celebrity" bum that when told no can get violent but yet the local judge refuses to give him any jail time even those he has chased people before when they refuse him. I had one run in him back a few years ago right after I started working for the jail. He walked up to me and asked for $10 and I told him no and he drew back like he was going to take a swing and I stepped into him and got nose to nose and gave him a few words. When I was in college I worked security part time at a new parking garage under construction and we had a large homeless population in Rutland, VT. We had one guy who carried a large butcher knife, and one day when I was working there one homeless guy didn't have the money to ride he pulled out the fat end of a fishing rod minus the reel angled to a point which would have done some real damage and almost stabbed the driver until I got into it. As I tell the wife, everyone is a threat and you never know what they are going to do so take nothing for granted.

 

[Steak]

I don't give anything to anybody period! Obuma is taking enough from me as it is.

Seriously, if Im approached and the person looks like they're up to no good according to my gut, I say "get away from me NOW!" in a very stern voice. If they look like they are just asking for change I don't even acknowledge them. Obviously, I differentiate between a lady or somone in a grocery store versus a bum in the city or someone out in a parking lot that automatically looks suspicious to me.

Im sure most of you all have seen this before. But, for those that haven't, read it and then see how you feel. I say this because a lot of "innocent" encounters on the street or in parking lots start out as asking for something.

 

[Steve in Vermont]

I agree, it depends on their posture, manner and most importantly, can I see their hands. I do not mind helping people, but if they get in my personal space or I can't see their hands, it's a problem.

Some habits never die. Even 10 years after retirement if I can't see a persons hands I'm mentally preparing for a (possible) confrontation. One other concern, if a stranger offers a handshake with his right hand and you can't see his left....decline.....which you probably should do in any case. We've talked about this before, situational awareness!!! Staying away from strangers isn't just for kids.

 

[retarmyaviator]

Darn, I must living right. I don't live in fear of strangers, we do not have panhandlers here and usually when approached by a stranger it is someone asking directions. Living in an area with many Civil War sites being asked for directions by a visitor is not uncommon.

So in answer to the original posters question, How do you react when a stranger approaches you in public? If approached with courtesy I react with courtesy.

 

[StatesRightist]

I'm reading these posts and I see a lot of LEO experience in here. There's little that will make your more cynical than that, I understand, trust me. I will not sit with my back to a door, have to see hands, think anytime someone's lips are moving there's a good chance they are lying...I get it.

My wife and I are trying to get a charity off the ground for veterans, probably the most under appreciated group we have. Here's some thing's I've learned:

1. Between 529,000 and 840,000 veterans are homeless at some time during the year.
2. On any given night, more than 300,000 veterans are living on the streets or in shelters in the U.S.
3. Approx. 33% of homeless males in the U.S. are veterans.
4. Veterans are twice as likely as other Americans to become chronically homeless.
5. Veterans represent 11% of the adult civilian population, but 26% of the homeless population, according to the Homeless Research Institute (2007).
6.The number of homeless Vietnam-era veterans, male and female, is greater than the number of soldiers who died during the war.

My point is this, not all of the homeless are "bums", 25% of them are Vets who left themselves on a battlefield somewhere. You may not feel this way, but I think we owe them a debt, I will not turn my back on a man based on outward appearance.

Do what I do, buy $100 worth of $5 McDonalds gift certificates and $100 worth of $5 gas cards, problem solved.

JMO, forgive me for getting my soapbox out.

 

[feralmerril]

I have a friend who donates all his free time going all over and locateing the ashs or remains of unclaimed veterans bodys and seeing that they get a proper burial. I heard but cant recall the name of his organisation. I will ask and post it. It may be a motorcycleist group as he is big on that too. He is in my atv club. He says there are so many unclaimed veterans bodys all over the country that he never runs out of leads. Only limited by money and time! He circlelates all over in between trying to get donations to bury more. He also packs.
Found it. Missing in america project. My friend is roger graves the state cordnater here in utah.
http://www.miap.us/miap_contacts.asp

 

[to9]

I pull up to a stop by the entrance to a Wal Mart . In the divider there is a panhandler asking for work or food or both . Right in back of him on a big sign hanging on the side of the Wal Mart NOW HIRING . I give nothing to panhandlers period . Not even the time of day .

 

[feralmerril]

I had a buddy that took a trip home to new orleans area from california. He pulled into a convieance store and comeing out a old black blind man was selling pencils. As bill was steping into his car with california plates the guy asks bill, "Hey! How do ya all like california?"

 

[JJEH]

In 2010 I was at a gas station somwhere between NV and CA - don't recall it exactly. While filling up our car a stranger (t-shirt and shorts) approached me asking for a dollar or two for something. I believe it was gas money...

I was straight and asked him if it was for alcohol and/or drugs and he said "no." Of course I cannot prove it, but I gave him $2.00 out of my pocket. He showed manners, he started with "excuse me sir" and ended his visit with "thank you sir." Therefore I was okay with it and thought maybe I did something good this day (I mostly try to put myself in their shoes...).

But to answer your question - I scan people from top to bottom and the other way as much as I scan the surroundings. It has to be quick and accurate. The alertness is always higher in an situation like that, but if something starts to be strange you have to react quickly.

 

[feralmerril]

JJEH; I would bet $10s it was in victorville california at a station where you get off on palmdale blvard. I have got hit up every time I have stopped there for gas. My last time was about 5 months ago and I told the guy off. It didnt affect him at all. I have even been hit up there like at 03:am. That station is worked around the clock like a job with several guys. I cant understand why the owner allows it! The station is patronised by mostly travelers as its about the most pausable place for travelers between vegas and s. calif in the area.
I am almost thinking the owner gets a % kickback to allow the panhandlers to work that turff!

 

[Onomea]

I react a whole lot better to strangers approaching me in public than I would to strangers approaching me in private....

 

[mkk41]

I really don't have that problem. At 6ft 300lbs , long hair , long beard and lots of tattoos , usually with an unfriendly , anti-social scowl , I've been described as scary or intimidating. Most people , even gangsta-type , make a hole or walk the other way. Most people I cross paths with probably think I'm out to rob them!

 

[Steve in Vermont]

I really don't have that problem. At 6ft 300lbs , long hair , long beard and lots of tattoos , usually with an unfriendly , anti-social scowl , I've been described as scary or intimidating. Most people , even gangsta-type , make a hole or walk the other way. Most people I cross paths with probably think I'm out to rob them!

I think that if you asked some couple for money the guys wife would say "Give him the money, if you shoot him he'll just get mad". I'm glad you're on our side.

 

[4330Inroute]

JJEH; I would bet $10s it was in victorville california at a station where you get off on palmdale blvard. I have got hit up every time I have stopped there for gas. My last time was about 5 months ago and I told the guy off. It didnt affect him at all. I have even been hit up there like at 03:am. That station is worked around the clock like a job with several guys. I cant understand why the owner allows it! The station is patronised by mostly travelers as its about the most pausable place for travelers between vegas and s. calif in the area.
I am almost thinking the owner gets a % kickback to allow the panhandlers to work that turff!

I was there yesterday afternoon and it was at a Chevron. Told the guy he was SOL that I lost my money in Vegas and was trying to get home.
I usually just look at them, scowl and say Go away! but this guy was polite and approached me with the 'Excuse me sir and ended with thanks anyway.' He went off to the next guy at the pump.