How do you react when a stranger approaches you in public?

[StatesRightist]

I'm reading these posts and I see a lot of LEO experience in here. There's little that will make your more cynical than that, I understand, trust me. I will not sit with my back to a door, have to see hands, think anytime someone's lips are moving there's a good chance they are lying...I get it.

My wife and I are trying to get a charity off the ground for veterans, probably the most under appreciated group we have. Here's some thing's I've learned:

1. Between 529,000 and 840,000 veterans are homeless at some time during the year.
2. On any given night, more than 300,000 veterans are living on the streets or in shelters in the U.S.
3. Approx. 33% of homeless males in the U.S. are veterans.
4. Veterans are twice as likely as other Americans to become chronically homeless.
5. Veterans represent 11% of the adult civilian population, but 26% of the homeless population, according to the Homeless Research Institute (2007).
6.The number of homeless Vietnam-era veterans, male and female, is greater than the number of soldiers who died during the war.

My point is this, not all of the homeless are "bums", 25% of them are Vets who left themselves on a battlefield somewhere. You may not feel this way, but I think we owe them a debt, I will not turn my back on a man based on outward appearance.

Do what I do, buy $100 worth of $5 McDonalds gift certificates and $100 worth of $5 gas cards, problem solved.

JMO, forgive me for getting my soapbox out.

 

[feralmerril]

I have a friend who donates all his free time going all over and locateing the ashs or remains of unclaimed veterans bodys and seeing that they get a proper burial. I heard but cant recall the name of his organisation. I will ask and post it. It may be a motorcycleist group as he is big on that too. He is in my atv club. He says there are so many unclaimed veterans bodys all over the country that he never runs out of leads. Only limited by money and time! He circlelates all over in between trying to get donations to bury more. He also packs.
Found it. Missing in america project. My friend is roger graves the state cordnater here in utah.
http://www.miap.us/miap_contacts.asp

 

[to9]

I pull up to a stop by the entrance to a Wal Mart . In the divider there is a panhandler asking for work or food or both . Right in back of him on a big sign hanging on the side of the Wal Mart NOW HIRING . I give nothing to panhandlers period . Not even the time of day .

 

[feralmerril]

I had a buddy that took a trip home to new orleans area from california. He pulled into a convieance store and comeing out a old black blind man was selling pencils. As bill was steping into his car with california plates the guy asks bill, "Hey! How do ya all like california?"

 

[JJEH]

In 2010 I was at a gas station somwhere between NV and CA - don't recall it exactly. While filling up our car a stranger (t-shirt and shorts) approached me asking for a dollar or two for something. I believe it was gas money...

I was straight and asked him if it was for alcohol and/or drugs and he said "no." Of course I cannot prove it, but I gave him $2.00 out of my pocket. He showed manners, he started with "excuse me sir" and ended his visit with "thank you sir." Therefore I was okay with it and thought maybe I did something good this day (I mostly try to put myself in their shoes...).

But to answer your question - I scan people from top to bottom and the other way as much as I scan the surroundings. It has to be quick and accurate. The alertness is always higher in an situation like that, but if something starts to be strange you have to react quickly.

 

[feralmerril]

JJEH; I would bet $10s it was in victorville california at a station where you get off on palmdale blvard. I have got hit up every time I have stopped there for gas. My last time was about 5 months ago and I told the guy off. It didnt affect him at all. I have even been hit up there like at 03:am. That station is worked around the clock like a job with several guys. I cant understand why the owner allows it! The station is patronised by mostly travelers as its about the most pausable place for travelers between vegas and s. calif in the area.
I am almost thinking the owner gets a % kickback to allow the panhandlers to work that turff!

 

[Onomea]

I react a whole lot better to strangers approaching me in public than I would to strangers approaching me in private....

 

[mkk41]

I really don't have that problem. At 6ft 300lbs , long hair , long beard and lots of tattoos , usually with an unfriendly , anti-social scowl , I've been described as scary or intimidating. Most people , even gangsta-type , make a hole or walk the other way. Most people I cross paths with probably think I'm out to rob them!

 

[Steve in Vermont]

I really don't have that problem. At 6ft 300lbs , long hair , long beard and lots of tattoos , usually with an unfriendly , anti-social scowl , I've been described as scary or intimidating. Most people , even gangsta-type , make a hole or walk the other way. Most people I cross paths with probably think I'm out to rob them!

I think that if you asked some couple for money the guys wife would say "Give him the money, if you shoot him he'll just get mad". I'm glad you're on our side.

 

[4330Inroute]

JJEH; I would bet $10s it was in victorville california at a station where you get off on palmdale blvard. I have got hit up every time I have stopped there for gas. My last time was about 5 months ago and I told the guy off. It didnt affect him at all. I have even been hit up there like at 03:am. That station is worked around the clock like a job with several guys. I cant understand why the owner allows it! The station is patronised by mostly travelers as its about the most pausable place for travelers between vegas and s. calif in the area.
I am almost thinking the owner gets a % kickback to allow the panhandlers to work that turff!

I was there yesterday afternoon and it was at a Chevron. Told the guy he was SOL that I lost my money in Vegas and was trying to get home.
I usually just look at them, scowl and say Go away! but this guy was polite and approached me with the 'Excuse me sir and ended with thanks anyway.' He went off to the next guy at the pump.

 

[ladder13]

I never give panhandlers money, but WILL offer to buy them a bowl of soup, a bag of chips, or a hot cup of coffee/tea, etc. The ones who need the money for drugs will pass up the offer, the truly hungry will answer affirmatively. I have purchased food for strangers on the street.
People living on the street can be there for all sorts of reasons.
There but for the Grace of God go I.
But I digress.

 

[Rule3]

Just go away and leave me alone!

J/K I used to work with a lot of homeless and destitute people and families.


Indiana Jones : Sword vs. Gun - YouTube

 

[long colt frazier]

We have had people come in our restaurants since way before I was born asking for a meal. We have never turned anyone away that ask for food but never given them money.

 

[cass]

I have no problem with it. For one thing on the job for 35 years as a lockheed guard I was habitualy dealing with all types of people all the time. At a young age I was raised in a large country general store. I was dealing with bums to execitives a lot. I have many times dealt with bums and helped them out or insulted them depending on their storys and demeaners probley all in the same day. You get a sense for it. I used to ride with my dad pedaling potatos or watermellons a lot. My mother ran a fruit stand many years and we dealt with complete strangers all the time. I never avoided anybody and had no trouble being either nicer or meaner than them. Usualy I let them lead the act I would follow up with whatever was called for.

I'd take the bum any day over the useless Lockheed executive. IMHO

 

[The Last Standing Knight]

Like many on this board, I deal with panhandlers both personally and professionally. My spiel on that in a second.
Most of the homeless I have dealt with have been on the streets for years where only the strong survive just like nature. Many APPEAR to be harmless but this should NEVER be taken for granted. Many are mental subjects, alcoholics, drug addicts or all of the above. Panhandlers I have dealt with are very aggressive and preditory...targeting the eldery outside drug and grocery stores especially. They will do whatever it takes to get even a small amount of cash.

In my opinion, you should NEVER give ANY panhandler ANYTHING. I know of at least four missions in my area that will help them. So I strongly discourage giving them anything and when confronted by them, should try to keep something (a car, a bench, even a newspaper machine) between you and them. When I get approached, my alert flags are already up and I watch not only them, but see if they have a "buddy" around, too (distraction).

I do not care about how old a stranger is, how they are dressed, what their mannerisms are, etc. I try to keep a distance between us and position myself in preparation for whatever they may be up to. In this day and age, you cannot afford otherwise.

 

[Duke426]

The way I usually look they want to help me. I carry my little friend in my "Cardboard Concealment Sign". (T.M. goes here).

Custom sizes and personal printing (Cursive at a extra cost, I have to source that out.) are offered by special order.

I have absolutely no idea what you are trying to convey and have to assume you were intoxicated at the time you posted the above quoted gibberish. Please seek help for your problem...

 

[therevjay]

I'm reading these posts and I see a lot of LEO experience in here. There's little that will make your more cynical than that, I understand, trust me. I will not sit with my back to a door, have to see hands, think anytime someone's lips are moving there's a good chance they are lying...I get it.

My wife and I are trying to get a charity off the ground for veterans, probably the most under appreciated group we have. Here's some thing's I've learned:

1. Between 529,000 and 840,000 veterans are homeless at some time during the year.
2. On any given night, more than 300,000 veterans are living on the streets or in shelters in the U.S.
3. Approx. 33% of homeless males in the U.S. are veterans.
4. Veterans are twice as likely as other Americans to become chronically homeless.
5. Veterans represent 11% of the adult civilian population, but 26% of the homeless population, according to the Homeless Research Institute (2007).
6.The number of homeless Vietnam-era veterans, male and female, is greater than the number of soldiers who died during the war.

My point is this, not all of the homeless are "bums", 25% of them are Vets who left themselves on a battlefield somewhere. You may not feel this way, but I think we owe them a debt, I will not turn my back on a man based on outward appearance.

Do what I do, buy $100 worth of $5 McDonalds gift certificates and $100 worth of $5 gas cards, problem solved.

JMO, forgive me for getting my soapbox out.

This is largely true. I also most often try to help those out. However I honestly don't think I "owe" them a damned thing. And a sure way to get turned down is imply that I do.

 

[MP22]

Have a plan to kill everyone you meet.

Wow....really?

 

[THE PILGRIM]

I watch them close. I look at hands, eyes and body language. Then I listen closely to what they say. I look at everybody close. I'm already looking at you guys close!

 

[Duke426]

Have a plan to kill everyone you meet.

Proper mindset for an infantryman on patrol, however that statement could hurt you in front of a jury should you need to use lethal force someday.

 

[pharmer]

I never respond to a request for money. No matter what you do any response telegraphs that you have some. Within 20 mi of here $20 is enough to be killed over. Joe

 

[RightArm]

There's tons of homeless grifters here in Houston. I here some of them do quite well. I've known a few, and they always found a home to sleep in and store their stuff. I digress. I've found that the best way to deal with a stranger of questionalble motivations is when he/ or she approaches, immediately ask if they have a dollar. Try not to laugh at the total look of confoundedness on their face.

 

[mc5aw]

The last homeless guy that approached me,I handed him my french fries.He acted like I was trying to poison him.Kind of insulting ;-)

You should have ordered him a healthy avocado salad and a Perrier with a lime twist.

 

[jbull380]

Proper mindset for an infantryman on patrol, however that statement could hurt you in front of a jury should you need to use lethal force someday.

Actually it apllies to the patrol officer as well. It is a mindset that must be used as you approach a vehicle on a traffic stop, a house you serving a search warrant on etc. Maybe it would be more correct to say "Have a plan to stop every threat you meet" since we are taught that we don't shoot to kill but to stop the threat. Anyway a defensive mindset has you assuming everyone you meet is a POTENTIAL threat until assessed differently. You just never really know.

 

[mkk41]

Unfortunately , there's no real way to tell the diff betwwen those who actually need and deserve a helping hand to get them thru short term circumstances not of their making, (I was damn close to that myself one time) and those who live on handouts because they are just too damn lazy to help themselves.

If they have money for booze , drugs and cigarettes , they have money for food.
.

 

[Marshwheeling]

You should have ordered him a healthy avocado salad and a Perrier with a lime twist.

I prefer the roast duck with the mango chutney.

 

[CAJUNLAWYER]

Well, if she's cute and has a nice smile I'll ask her if she...Well you know

 

[jlrhiner]

Well, if she's cute and has a nice smile I'll ask her if she...Well you know

No, we don't know.

 

[captorquewrench]

How do I react when approached in public?

I try to be kind to everyone before they have a chance to be rude to me first. Do not take this as weakness or doormat. I have worked in homeless shelters and in the worst parts of town. I am cautious and alert without being fearful. Situational awareness.

Many times people have walked in when I've been working in a church or something. God tells me to help people, and to love and be kind to others. He does NOT tell that I can pick and choose who to love and help based on my impression of them. So I just try to be pleasant before anyone can be unpleasant.

Unless they are Jehovah's Witness, and then it is GAME ON. They like to catch you at the gas pumps here to give you the Watchtower. They always seem to catch me when I am on my way to church too. "I know the truth so I will not be able to accept your magazine today. I pray that you will find the real Jesus soon." Sadly, I usually forget to tell them that I can introduce them.

The last time I was pretty annoyed. These ladies were persistent. They kept at me. Then they sent the younger one out to the guy in the truck beside me....his German Shepherd took up the whole cab and was barking like crazy at her. My mischievous streak hit. As I got in my car, I told her she should watch out because I thought the dog was a Southern Baptist.

So yeah...I try to to remember to be kind first. Except with JW's and some Mormons. Even then, I try to be firm, and not rude.

And as far as panhandlers go...sorry...I always have something, apples, sandwich, cash, water, hygiene items...no matter how bad it is for us. Always. Oh, and pet food too. A lot of those guys have dogs with them. Most of the time I am met with gratitude. The other times...well, it is not to me how they react. I do my part...love people and be kind. their reaction--whether it's thankfulness or disgrace--is on their conscience, not mine. I can walk away knowing I have done the right thing.

 

[627 city hunter]

I work in the French Quarter in New Orleans and carry cash.
I am tall and of reasonable size, dressed in no less than a coat and tie for work.

I tell them no. I have been harassed, approached, swung at, nearly jumped,
but in those worst case scenarios I had to fight back, and best two different
men asking for financial favors. Some did not want money, instead asking for
"odd rainbow favors". I work in a real Sodom and Gomorrah. I am always
checking my flanks day or night out there.

Food is the only thing any of them might get. I am not supporting a bizarre
persons addiction by enabling them.