Makeing plans for the final exit.

Me, I want to be cremated and have my ashes spread far out at sea, preferably off of the deck of a Coast Guard cutter during nautical twilight by whichever poor SLJO (s***** little jobs officer) is unfortunate enough to draw the short straw for the burial at sea. I want an entry made in the ship's log of the lat/long of the final resting place of a once-upon-a-time Coastie, and beyond that, I just hope the burial detail has sense enough to stay upwind when they open up the cardboard box with my ashes in the little plastic bag inside.

As for the festivities beforehand on shore -- let's call them a "funeral" for the lack of a better term -- I want to have written it myself, chosen my own hymns and Bible passages, and maybe have mixed in a little pre-recorded multi-media presentation that will make those in attendance smile. I really don't mind if anyone wants to make a fuss over me, and if anyone wants to come and say their final goodbyes, or tell a questionable joke in my honor, or see what the wife intends to do with my S&W pistols I've collected by then, well, have at it.

If I can't have any of that stuff, just ship me off to N'awlins so I can have one of those jazzy little parades with at least one round of "When the Saints Go Marching In.":D I'll be gone to glory, and waitin' for y'all to join me!

Life -- and funerals -- are for the living.:)
 
The funeral, wake, service burial, stone monument, flowers and all the doo dads and gadgets of dying aren't for the dead guy, they are for those left behind. I just attended one, my uncle 94 veteran of the British Army Royal Engineers, WWII. He wanted a closed casket so nobody would be looking at him saying all the "he looks this way or that". Well, my cousins kept it closed for a while but at the second visitation they had it opened. So there you go, the guy in the box had no further say in the matter but the family was glad to see him one last time.
 
If i should die before my parents there having me cremated and my urn will be placed in my Grandma's grave. If i go after my parents i plan being buried 6 feet under the cold Illinois ground.
 
vigil617 said:
Me, I want to be cremated and have my ashes spread far out at sea, preferably off of the deck of a Coast Guard cutter during nautical twilight by whichever poor SLJO (s***** little jobs officer) is unfortunate enough to draw the short straw for the burial at sea. I want an entry made in the ship's log of the lat/long of the final resting place of a once-upon-a-time Coastie, and beyond that, I just hope the burial detail has sense enough to stay upwind when they open up the cardboard box with my ashes in the little plastic bag inside.

As for the festivities beforehand on shore -- let's call them a "funeral" for the lack of a better term -- I want to have written it myself, chosen my own hymns and Bible passages, and maybe have mixed in a little pre-recorded multi-media presentation that will make those in attendance smile. I really don't mind if anyone wants to make a fuss over me, and if anyone wants to come and say their final goodbyes, or tell a questionable joke in my honor, or see what the wife intends to do with my S&W pistols I've collected by then, well, have at it.

If I can't have any of that stuff, just ship me off to N'awlins so I can have one of those jazzy little parades with at least one round of "When the Saints Go Marching In.":D I'll be gone to glory, and waitin' for y'all to join me!

Life -- and funerals -- are for the living.:)
Click to expand...

Can we assume this will be part of those...um..."festivities"?:D;)

Holy Grail - Killer Bunny - YouTube
 
Same as my wife and I agreed on when she knew she was dying of a rare leukemia. Immediate cremation--no embalming, viewing, etc. A very simple memorial service in the church where we were married. A reception/party to follow the service, where people can laugh about the good, silly times. My ashes to be scattered where I scattered hers: on the Kentucky River below the Shaker Village at Pleasant Hill, a favorite place we always went to at least once a year.

It's less expensive, cleaner, and doesn't take up grave or mausoleum space for families who want it.

My parents are buried across a cemetery road from a section of Civil War graves. The cemetery is thick with Canada geese. Grave markers are not treated with respect by the birds, to put it as delicately as possible.

I've signed my driver's license to be an organ donor, but I doubt much of my elderly, broken-down carcass will be of use.
 
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The most serious death conversation I've had was with my fellow gun-nut son. I made him pledge to put my old SAKO .222 in the casket with me. He swore that he would. He followed with the remark that he would take it out before he buried me. Actually, he knew that I plan to be cremated. I could not allow the SAKO to be burned with me.
 
Donated my body to a medical school, they pay for the embalming, use my body for training doctors and cremate the remains and return to my family.
I like to think that for the many times other doctors have saved my life in the last 12 years, some new doctors can learn something from me.
I want no funeral, no marker, nothing to show I was ever here. I've told all my brothers and my son and daughter of my wishes (by certified mail no less) and my wife has a file folder with the instructions on who to call.
olcop
 
My soul will leave for the ever after as soon as I die. My fortune will go to the debtors. :rolleyes:

I don't care about my body. We could donate it to "How not to treat garbage and eat it too".

Ashes to ashes or feed me to the fish.

Hoffentlich nicth so bald.
 
A lot of good thoughts put down so far. My oldest son has the instructions, but I doubt my wife will honor them. Its simple, just dispose of the body.

My long time coroner friend was agast (he was also an undertaker). He thought it wrong to cheat him or his co workers out of their due. Regardless, its what I want. I agree with all the guys saying they don't want a service or viewing. If they've got to dispose of the body all legal like, then just shovel me into the cardboard box and turn up the flames. Oldest son also knows where I'd like him to dump the ashes. Even that idea has its detractors. Seems like if anyone finds them, it causes a big stink while they try to figure out who it was.

So I like the idea the guy above had about not even calling the kids or anything. Of course that won't happen, they'll show up and everyone will cry and feel awful. Disrupt everyone's lives for a week or so. And to no good end. They won't be crying for me, but to make my wife cry even more. If she does. She might celebrate, who knows. I've sure taken her places where she won't drive herself. Even she says she likes the Colorado mountains. But she lacks the driving skill or confidence to go some of the crazy places I like.

Guess I need to get planning pretty soon. My dad died a while back. I'll be that age in 3 1/2 years. That's probably when the genetics will quit working. Anything past that is borrowed time at best.

So my plans on disposing of the guns is well known. My wife said she'd just let our sons take their pick. I told her that was stupid, that she should have David Carroll stop at the house and take the guns he wanted and thought he could sell. Then let the boys pick from the dregs of what's left. Those are probably the guns that I used the most but had the least value. Don't let family cherry pick a collection. She might need the money some day.

Maybe I'll select some guns for certain grandkids. That'll bend everyone out of shape. Serve them right for coveting my goodies. I'm guessing they'll dread hauling all the ammo and components out of the dungeon.
 
I came across a woman's ashes while fishing last week.They had tied her tag to a bush,just off the side of the road in Poudre Canyon.I thought that was a bit rude.Dump mine up a jeep road at least!
 
I bought & paid for my services in 1997. Everything is paid for. Have my plot in a small Sierra Nevada town cemetary & will be between my folks & my first wife, Eleanor. No cremation for me. Have a living trust will to give the kids what I believe they would want.
 
I went through a bad divorice and had a lady from england live with me as I had a seven year old daughter and worked graveyard. At the time I was fighting for custody and needed a nanny. We worked up a deal where I supplied everything and she worked at a store for her money.
We lived together for about 12 years. She got stomach cancer and died at home with me. She was divoriced and had no family. She had no medical insurance and things fell on me. She had me take her home from the hospital and died about a week later. Since we werent married and she died in my house the system called the shots and she was cremated. I bought the ashs from the county as I just didnt want her spread in a community garden or whatever they do. I took her deer hunting with me on a mountain top that I once had taken her to that she liked.
I hadnt seen another hunter or vehicle in the area. I spread the ashs, and started to say the lords prayer. I was interupted by a rifle shot very close by. it sounded like only 50 yards away. I walked out and looked around and never did see a hunter or vehicle!
 
My last wishes are: cremate me and put my ashes in a Miracle Whip jar for all I care. My friends already know who is getting what of my guns. Then when everyone is assured I'm really on my way to the next great adventure and not pulling another fast one, have one hell of a party. I've already put funds away to pay for it. Listen to some good music, enjoy some good food, and drink some good liquor. But most of remember I'll be watching ya have a good time on my dime.
 
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