Funniest things you have heard in a gun shop

[coltle6920]

Not something that I overheard but actually something stupid enough to say myself!

Saw a nice S&W MP45 just posted at my LGS.Should've called first but decided to take a chance and go for a ride.Needless to say the gun was already sold.

Cue stupid remark in 3...2...1...!

"I think I'll just look around while I'm here.Might be the first time I left here without spending any money."

Walked out with two pistols and a rifle! Still got away cheaper than if the MP45 was still available.

 

[Rustyt1953]

Guy walks in and says "Got me a deer yesterday."

"Whadya get 'im with?"

"A 77 Dodge Magnum!"

I'll be here all week, try the veal.

 

[old bear]

Customer, "I need a 12 gauge because my [estranged] wife is threatening me and harassing me."

Clerk, "Why a 12 gauge?"

Customer, "You haven't seen how BIG she is!"

Now that's just downright funny, I don't care who you are.

 

[Alpo]

MLK's autopsy photo's seem to confirm this . . .

If you're talking about King, he was shot with a 30/06 Remington pump. What's that got to do with an M16 OR an M16 bullet?

 

[blujax01]

A guy walks in with his girlfriend explaining how everything works and what is what.

"These black ones are pistols. Cops carry them. Those with the wheel are revolvers. Cops used to carry them. They're made in 357 now but they used to made 38 special before the police were allowed to shoot to kill."

Hand to God, he said it.

 

[ralph7]

Or trajectory........

The bullet is dropping as soon as it exits the barrel.

 

[walnutred]

I didn't think it exactly funny, more idiotic really. I was in the Cabelas in Dundee a while back and a man and his son were looking at shotguns. They were both of smallish stature, man was probably 5'4 and the young son maybe 5'. They selected a 20ga SXS coach gun with screw in choke tubes from the used rack and took it to a clerk. The man handed the coach gun to the clerk and explained he was looking for a brush gun for his son to use hunting rabbits.

The clerk explained that the short barreled 20ga was not the correct choice as the effective range was only 20-30 feet. He proceeded to hand the dad a 12ga 28" Remington 870 and explained that it was the proper shotgun for rabbets. From where I stood that 20ga coach gun was a much better physical fit for the boy and implying 20ga is not enough for rabbits is absurd beyond comment.

 

[Dominus_Lex]

Glad to hear there are some funny stories out there. I will admit that most of what I have heard over the last several years causes me to doubt my faith in the Second Amendment.

 

[kimporter]

best one i heard came from an "expert",he came in the store wanting some 38's ,i asked 38 s&w or 38 special,he said it dont matter they are all the same,and then he proceeds to tell his better half about how ignorant some people that work in stores are and that they dont know everything bla bla bla,so i sell some 38 spl and he leaves.about an hr later hes back in the store cussin like mad because i sold him the wrong ammo,it wont go in the magazine of the pistol,go figger.i asked him if he was sure it was a 38,OF COURSE ITS A 38,IT SAYS SO ON THE SIDE he bellers i asked very nicely if he could bring it in so i can get the right ammo,so he did and he brought in the nicest walther p-38 with extra mag and holster i had seen, broke my heart telling him(in front of better half) it was a 9mm,not a 38.he ended up trading for a ruger security six and the p-38 came home with me

 

[Kid44]

Not exactly gun related but...............I was in a national park a summer or two and and a lady walked up to the ranger I was talking to and asked what the best time of year was to come and see the elk turn into moose.

 

[Aticus]

Once had a guy come in looking for some bullet tips.

 

[Muss Muggins]

If you're talking about King, he was shot with a 30/06 Remington pump. What's that got to do with an M16 OR an M16 bullet?

It entered his cheek, traveled down his spinal cord, and lodged in his shoulder. If a .30 caliber round can move like that, and M16 bullet can certainly come out a toe.

 

[Ματθιας]

I had one owner go off on a friend I was with when he asked how much the owner would charge for transfers. He was almost at the point of yelling as he ranted and raved.
When he done, I asked him how much, again? Yeah, he wasn't happy.

 

[Old Corp]

Oh - I could go for hours:

Showing customer some sort of AR: "Does this have a rail? Anything I have HAS to have a 'pickaninny rail".

"If that's a M&P pistol, does that mean you HAVE to be a policeman or soldier to buy it?"

(Customer coming into store showroom from indoor range) _ "Hey - this new Glock you sold me, it's 'bullet flipper' is broke!"
Subsequent investigation revealed the customer held a belief that 'really good' auto pistols were equipped with a 'bullet flipper' that took care of feeding any and all cartridges placed backwards in the magazine. Really.

"Urban Youth" : "Yo man, when I gets my check, I'm totally comin' back to snatch up dat baby AK!"

Phone call: "Will the gunsmith that works at your facility work on weedeaters?"

Customer 'helping' another customer: "That rifle right there is a .22 MAGNUM, it what's called a 'brush buster' and will take down anything there is."

- Tired of typing, and this is only a tiny fraction.......

 

[halvenut]

I've heard several good stories at local gun shows.
The first is when a guy at a table is showing a M1 Garand to a potential customer and explains that the Circle P proof mark means the the the rifle was in Patton's Army.
The most recent is when two guys were looking at table and starting discussing in all seriousness the outstanding knock down power of the .380. The owner of the table could hardly keep from busting a gut listening to them and answering their questions.

 

[reddogge]

"Sorry ma'am, I can't help you as I'm dead."

Gun shop Zombies, the worst kind.

 

[zzzippper]

The first is when a guy at a table is showing a M1 Garand to a potential customer and explains that the Circle P proof mark means the the the rifle was in Patton's Army.

And it was probably Korean War production.

 

[reddogge]

I'm in a gun shop and the guy behind the counter is filling out the federal application form to purchase a handgun for a customer. I don't think he could write (seriously). He came to the last question and told him "I can't help you with this, you have to answer this one yourself. What COUNTRY were you born in?"

He said "Baltimore." Clerk said "No, think bigger".
He said "Maryland". Clerk said "No, think REAL BIG. Look, if you can't answer this I can't sell you the pistol." He was getting frustrated at this time.
He said "USA?". Clerk sighed a sigh of relief.

 

[zzzippper]

I'm in a gun shop and the guy behind the counter is filling out the federal application form to purchase a handgun for a customer. I don't think he could write (seriously). He came to the last question and told him "I can't help you with this, you have to answer this one yourself. What COUNTRY were you born in?"

He said "Baltimore." Clerk said "No, think bigger".
He said "Maryland". Clerk said "No, think REAL BIG. Look, if you can't answer this I can't sell you the pistol." He was getting frustrated at this time.
He said "USA?". Clerk sighed a sigh of relief.

Not to highjack but I have been asked, "Is Austria the same as Australia?", "Is North Korea near Cuba?", and while on Okinawa, "Are we on an island?" I have also been told that the Philippines is NEAR Asia and that France is a city in Paris.

 

[hangnoose]

VISUALS

A price chart for labor near the smithing area LABOR RATES: 30$/hour. 45$/hour if you watch, 60$/hour if you help. One guy couldn't tell if he was Indiana Jones, Johnny Rambo, or Marshall Dillon as he had on the big bull whip, a 12" Bowie, and open carrying a big iron on his hip.