Something from Red Skelton for today

Joined
Apr 20, 2012
Messages
1,500
Reaction score
3,346
Location
Missouri
RED SKELTON'S RECIPE FOR THE PERFECT MARRIAGE
1. Two times a week we go to a nice restaurant, have a little beverage, good food and companionship. She goes on Tuesdays, I go on Fridays.
2. We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in California and mine is in Texas.
3. I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.
4. I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary. "Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said. So I suggested the kitchen.
5. We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.
6. She has an electric blender, electric toaster and electric bread maker. She said "There are too many gadgets, and no place to sit down!" So I bought her an electric chair.
7. My wife told me the car wasn't running well because there was water in the carburetor. I asked where the car was. She told me, "In the lake."
8. She got a mud pack and looked great for two days. Then the mud fell off.
9. She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, "Am I too late for the garbage?" The driver said, "No, jump in!".
10. Remember: Marriage is the number one cause of divorce.
11. I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was 'Always'.
12. I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months. I don't like to interrupt her.
13. The last fight was my fault though. My wife asked, "What's on the TV?"
I said, "Dust!".
Can't you just hear him say all of these?
I love it. These were the good old days when humor didn't have to start with a four letter word. It was just clean and simple fun. And he always ended his programs with the words, "And May God Bless" with a big smile on his face.
 
Register to hide this ad
I loved watching The Red Skelton Show every Saturday night, if I remember correctly. I have a couple dvd's of his shows and still laugh out loud at them. He had an innocence about him that made him unique.
If I remember correctly, I think he was a gun collector also.
 
He was a marvelous human being.

From wiki:

'Skelton preferred to be described as a clown rather than a comic: "A comedian goes out and hits people right on. A clown uses pathos. He can be funny, then turn right around and reach people and touch them with what life is like." "I just want to be known as a clown", he said, "because to me that's the height of my profession. It means you can do everything—sing, dance and above all, make people laugh." His purpose in life, he believed, was to make people laugh.'

I was always impressed with his ability to morph into numerous characters using only one prop...a soft battered hat.

My dad's favorite skits were Gertrude and Heathcliff.
 
I watched Red Skelton when I was growing up. Decades later, when I get a DVD of this show, it's still funny. One of the funniest bits I remember is when he played Clem Kadiddlehopper, the country bumpkin. He was at his parents' house when all of a sudden:

Bullhorn: This is the FBI. Come out with your hands up. We have you surrounded on 8 sides.

Papa Kadiddlehopper: The house only has 4 sides.

Bullhorn: We were counting the little one in back.
 
Back
Top