Inspired insults!

Joined
Jan 24, 2007
Messages
10,358
Reaction score
52,003
Location
Arizona
These insults really tickled me - :D

John

--------------------------------------------------------------

• "He had delusions of adequacy." Walter Kerr

• "He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire." Winston Churchill

• "I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure." Clarence Darrow

• "He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary." William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway)

• "Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time reading it." Moses Hadas

• "I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it." Mark Twain

• "He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends." Oscar Wilde

• "I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend, if you have one." George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill
• "Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second.. if there is one." Winston Churchill, in response

• "I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here." Stephen Bishop

• "He is a self-made man and worships his creator." John Bright

• "I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial." Irvin S. Cobb

• "He is not only dull himself; he is the cause of dullness in others." Samuel Johnson

• "In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily." Charles, Count Talleyrand

• "He loves nature in spite of what it did to him." Forrest Tucker

• "Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?" Mark Twain

• "His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork." Mae West

• "Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go." Oscar Wilde

• "He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts... for support rather than illumination." Andrew Lang (1844-1912)

• "He has Van Gogh's ear for music." Billy Wilder

• "I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But I'm afraid this wasn't it." Groucho Marx
 
Register to hide this ad
"That boys got a mind like a steel trap....Rusted shut and no bait." Foghorn Leghorn

Foghorn Leghorn had another great one:

"That boy's about as sharp as a bowling ball."

My favorite, which I have had to bite my tongue to keep from using, is:

"He couldn't pour the water out of a boot if the directions were written on the heel."
 
If you had a brain you'd be dangerous.

That's true, but if you had a brain you still wouldn't be dangerous.

I wish for him to have the fleas of a thousand Arab camels invade his armpits.
 
Congratulations on your retirement! We throwing a retirement party to celebrate, but ya ain't invited.
 
Last edited:
"If you were my husband, I would poison your tea"

"If you were my wife, I would gladly drink it"

I think that's also a Winston Churchill quote.

Another of his that I like:

Lady at a dinner party:

"Winston, you are drunk!"

"Yes, but tomorrow I will be sober and you will still be ugly."

Or words to that effect.
 
Back
Top