I am at the age where my grandkids are graduating from college and are getting married. When that happens and they send me an invitation I respond with a wedding and/or graduation gift because that is the expected polite thing to do. In turn I expect a thank you card or at least an acknowledgment that they received my gift. I guess that is no longer the Custom these days because so far I have given four gifts and received absolutely no acknowledgment that they even receive them. Maybe that is no longer the polite thing to do or the customary thing to do and I have missed getting the memo. none of the other family members have received acknowledgment so it is just not me. I read somewhere that courtesy is the lubrication that allows society to function smoothly. I have two grandkids left that are of age to get married, but haven’t so I’m not sure how I’m going to react.
Common courtesy not so common these days.
- Thread starter grover99
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Unfortunately, you're not alone. Miss Judy and I have experienced the same thing. Not with our grandchildren, thank goodness. So far, they've been pretty good in expressing their thanks for gifts, but with newly weds. We got away many years ago from giving the obligatory toaster-type gifts and such and have mainly just given cash. Usually a hundred bucks, sometimes more. Obviously, this must be "chump change" to this generation because we very seldom ever receive a thank you. 
My gifts are freely given with no conditions or expectations.
Faulkner
Member
My parents always insisted that I send thank you notes from the time I was old enough to write. I taught this to my kids and I'm pleased to say they have apparently done the same with the grandkids, although it sometimes comes in the form of a text message.
I passed my private pilot's test on my 17th birthday and at the time I was the youngest private pilot in the state and there was a little blurb about it in the local paper. A few days later I received a hand written congratulatory note from our state senator who I did not know. I was so impressed with this that I took up the habit and for well over 40 years it's not uncommon for me to mail out two or three hand written notes a week, sometimes more. There is something almost magical in receiving hand written notes in the mail these days and I fear it has gone the way of the buggy whip.
I passed my private pilot's test on my 17th birthday and at the time I was the youngest private pilot in the state and there was a little blurb about it in the local paper. A few days later I received a hand written congratulatory note from our state senator who I did not know. I was so impressed with this that I took up the habit and for well over 40 years it's not uncommon for me to mail out two or three hand written notes a week, sometimes more. There is something almost magical in receiving hand written notes in the mail these days and I fear it has gone the way of the buggy whip.
Skyhunter
Member
Nope! You're not alone.
Unfortunately, the wife and I have experienced the same sort of response.
We started "teaching" grandchildren (and reinforcing the fact/notion with adult children) that a polite "Thank You" is not only good manners, but is a REQUIRED response if They wish to receive or continue to receive gifts (ALL types included - birthday, wedding, etc.).
Failure to send a "Thank You" results in no longer receiving any gifts for anything. The results have been predictable.
WYT-P
Skyhunter
Unfortunately, the wife and I have experienced the same sort of response.
We started "teaching" grandchildren (and reinforcing the fact/notion with adult children) that a polite "Thank You" is not only good manners, but is a REQUIRED response if They wish to receive or continue to receive gifts (ALL types included - birthday, wedding, etc.).
Failure to send a "Thank You" results in no longer receiving any gifts for anything. The results have been predictable.
WYT-P
Skyhunter
FlattopPat69
Member
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How ironic that here we sit in a ‘digital society’ where many if not all have access to a multitude of personal COMMUNICATION devices (PCDs) - easily accessible handhelds enabling instantaneous contact (emails, instant messaging, video calling, the list goes on). Yet, for all these so-called ‘advances’ in technology at their fingertips, there’s clearly an opposite degradation in etiquette, which somehow never made it to this next Gen’s radar. No, you didn’t ‘miss the memo…’. They are lost in a haze of entitlement. Shame on them!
Yet another dog whistle thread to summon vinegaroons for the sole purpose of denigrating younger generations because they don't do things the Boomer way.
We can do better.
We can do better.
If it happens, you're going to give them a gift because you love them. You might also follow up because you care and, maybe, because you also want to pass on this lesson.
Regardless, congratulations on your family - they are a blessing even if they don't always seem so.
Have you thought about sending them a letter requiring a thank you note or the return of the gift?
My step sons high school grad party was yesterday. We had close to 50 people at the house. All bearing gifts……. The old fashioned hand written thank you cards will go out this week. My step son knows this. He doesn’t have to be told. I’ve gone to three grad parties this summer and have yet to receive any thank yous. I’ll give one kid a pass . He went to Marine boot camp
OP
I’m no boomer. Gen X. Expressing gratitude and appreciation never goes out of style.
My "thanks" come in the form of texts which are as valuable to me as quill and parchment.
Can relate to the aforementioned. Good manners are past on by parents who were so taught. This and respect for the individual are fading fast. One short story...found out that my new brother-in-law bought an AR15 so gave him a bandolier of .223 on stripper clips. When handed to him, nary a word said or acknowledgement of gift.
A text would be fine (but not my preference). Frankly it’s what I expect nowadays. But I look at it this way. Yesterday was a beautiful sunny 80 degree low humidity day. People decided to attend a party and give on average $100. I’m sure many of them would have rather been on their boat or motorcycle or whatever. To me a hand written letter of thanks is required. In addition to a firm handshake and verbal thank you when meeting your guest.
Did you include this in your invitation?
gjgalligan
Member
They can go right ahead and do it their way. I'm a boomer and I will keep right on doing it my way.
Texting or email is fine but no response is not ok with me.
And I don't blame the younger generation, I blame their parents for a poor up bringing.
OP
I resent that statement. I am not a boomer or have I ever been one
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I agree with the OP even though I sometimes failed at this when I was young. Just a tempering comment: etiquette allows anywhere from 3 months to one year to respond to wedding gifts.The thanks seem less sincere though when the interval gets long.
No sir. Where I come from it’s just how it’s done. But I get it. You’re sticking up for your grandkids generation. It’s obvious from past post you’re very proud of them. And you should be.
