It's all just stuff...

[Shrek Of The Arctic]

Read your post end to end. Echos personal experience of over 46 years as a pastor as well as my own shared family experience.

Let it go is good advice, the earlier the better. How? Corrie Ten Boom once was asked how she'd managed to get through all the terrible things that swept away her family and home. She replied, "I've learned to hold everything lightly." I.e., don't cling. Learned that lesson when I started burying family members... uncles and aunts at the start. Last were my mother, identical twin brother and my father. There was very little left by my mother. My brother, his wife threw almost all his gun stuff in the trash. I dumped it all in the trunk of a 82 Plymouth Fury III. Filled it. Sorted the ammo, etc. Sold it. I bought everything that didn't sell. She and the kids needed the money.

My father, his death really hammered us all. He had very little beyond some old cars and shop tools and two very small 1,000 sq.ft. houses. Sadly, it was the bottom of the housing crash. Very few offers. My SIL insisted all be auctioned. Told her no. Had them appraised. Gave her full 1/3 for everything. Gave my younger brother my part of the best house. That guaranteed he and his family would always have a roof over their heads. Sold him the shop and tools for $5.00. Helped him get back on his feet. Little over 20 years later, thankful to have handled things rightly. SIL went through the money. Could not get her to listen.

SIL was convinced that my father had money hidden in the house. Pulled up the carpet, etc. By the time I'd covered 130 miles, she'd gone through everything. She found nothing. We found an attache case hanging from a coat hanger in the bedroom closet. In it was the will, etc. making me executor. In it was some private papers, wedding certificate, etc. Also a little white box in which was found my mother's wedding ring and a note that it was to go to my wife who had spent over 20 years helping her. My SIL was not happy. Found the double-eagle pin given to her by the Central Ga. Council of the BSA when my identical-twin brother and I earned and were awarded our Eagle Scout pins one Sunday morning following the morning worship service. Found all the merit badge cards, sashes. No longer carry the card since it is getting fragile. Was given my father's knife which I had given him back in 2000. It's not going anywhere. Hope to God have not offended anyone by this ramble. Sincerely. bruce.

Hold everything lightly. Good advice.

I truly appreciate your "ramble" It's well considered and well stated.

 

[Onomea]

I agree that most of us have too much stuff. When we see people having garage sales I comment on how the American Way seems to be to fill the garage to the brim with stuff and then hold a garage sale to get rid of all the junk.

But, I also want to say that nice stuff deserves respect.

I don't admire the guy in the first post who throws a $6K rifle out the back door as a lesson to his wife that it is all "just stuff." To me that seems disrespectful to a fine rifle, and I also suspect the rifle was thrown in a fit of pique that was later rationalized as a moral lesson about the pitfalls of materialism.

I also have things, objects, that while not particularly nice or valuable have meaning to me, and that I treasure. Like a pair of needle nose pliers my mother gave me for Christmas around 1980. Or, a 1930s no name edition of the collected works of Rudyard Kipling that belonged to my father, that I read as I sat beside his bed as he lay dying, and that I later gave as a remembrance to my second son.

On the other hand, I don't think stuff is worth arguing about among siblings in terms of who gets what when a parent passes. No arguments among us four when the time came. We took turns choosing stuff, and if someone deeply wanted something, they got it.

It's just stuff, after all..

 

[Bald1]

I agree. I've been single all my life and have a bunch of toys. A summer car in my avatar, a big touring motorcycle, 7 revolvers, 3 rifles. In fact my entire house is a NY Jets man cave. I'm all set!

Rick

NY Jets!?!?!?!?! Damn I thought we could be friends. Your way to close to Buffalo to be a Jets fan.

 

[pharmer]

I hate this topic. I too have too much stuff and when I cleaned out 2 houses and moved to St Cloud years back, I took almost 5 tons (well, that's how much they charged me for) to the dump and I still have stuff. I'm trying to get rid of more but it's difficult. This year I sold 5 guns for a total of $5K. What did I do with the cash? I sent it to my son who needs it way more than me (Colorado is a very expensive place). My wife asks why I send him so much money. I have a savings account, what am I saving for? At 72 there ain't anything I need or even want. I get enough in retirement every month to live well, everything is paid for. Point is, as the great Marcus Aurelius began many of his meditations: "Soon, you will be dead. And those that mourn you will go in their turn." I have wealthy friends and they are prisoners of their stuff. Joe

 

['79 Magnum GT]

NY Jets!?!?!?!?! Damn I thought we could be friends. Your way to close to Buffalo to be a Jets fan.

I'm been a Jets fan since before you were born probably. And it is a curse to be that close to Buffalo. lol

 

[Golddollar]

On the other hand, I don't think stuff is worth arguing about among siblings in terms of who gets what when a parent passes. No arguments among us four when the time came. We took turns choosing stuff, and if someone deeply wanted something, they got it.

I'm happy to say that this is what happened with my siblings and I after my dad died. Pop had a decent gun collection. A question I sometimes asked my brother (the Trustee/Executor) was if our sister was getting enough. But she only wanted the proceeds from the sale of one antique gun as her share, and she got every dime. I picked out several guns that I had a known connection with. I can't remember what my brother selected for himself, and the rest went to auction with the proceeds shared among all of us.

I picked out some of my dad's coats and shirts to wear. Certainly not much monetary value there but it means something to have some of my dad's things.

 

[pharmer]

I agree. I've been single all my life and have a bunch of toys.
Rick

What kind of a man are you. I have twice found a woman I hate, bought her a house and lost half my stuff on the way out. When the judge in family court says: "Joe, you are SOL again!" You know you are at the top of the mountain Just passed 15 years with #3, so far, so good. At least now if I lose half my stuff it will make the job of parting with it much easier. Joe

 

['79 Magnum GT]

What kind of a man are you. I have twice found a woman I hate, bought her a house and lost half my stuff on the way out. When the judge in family court says: "Joe, you are SOL again!" You know you are at the top of the mountain Just passed 15 years with #3, so far, so good. At least now if I lose half my stuff it will make the job of parting with it much easier. Joe

I'm a man that has all his stuff and NEVER gets nagged about anything. I can do what I want when I want. OK?

Rick

 

[greenwellg]

The wife's family is all I have left and that's fine with me. I am comfortable and the two surviving brothers and I have an understanding. If we never see each other again that is fine. Pop asked me to clean out the garage after Mom died and I did. I organized it so it could be sold easily and then I was locked out. We moved from a big house I had built and she bought a condo with her money. I garage sold almost everything and donated the rest and we moved from 2500 square feet to 1600, from a 705 square foot garage to one that we don't even park our cars in. I have a new small Honda 150 CC on-off road bike and a new Prius bought and paid for and we have no debt. She knows where to take my guns to be sold if she goes before me and considering my current health, when she asked her daughters if I could live in her condo if she goes first, they told her I would probably outlive THEM.
I guess it's like the movie The Green Mile. I'll be 75 in 3 months and the cat is 5. I wonder which one of us will go first. but not in any hurry to find out. I'm still dreaming of seeing my machine (patent expired) actually become something that might affect the future of civilization, but if not I gave it a good effort.
I played pickleball for almost 3 hours today, had a great time with great people. One friend, an ex F15 pilot calls me a medical miracle in good humor. I guess I'll just keep on doing what I'm doing until I can not do it anymore,
I have what I need and live an honest life with no real regrets.

 

[Autonomous]

Where to start.
I grew up with nothing and abhor waste. Not a hoarder* as everything is actually useable and there is room for it without stacking. I could sell a bunch of stuff but don't need the money and hate dealing with people buyers. I have gotten rid of some guns and the wife has sold her inherited sterling silver tableware that has only melt value.
* Well... Between my wife and I we have eight small boats, all in good shape. Only one outboard though.

 

[The Big D]

As we “speak” I am in the midst of a purge of household stuff. Never considered myself a hoarder yet the ongoing results suggest otherwise. Have dump trailer sitting outside. Just finished replacing the roof on my sister’s carport and needed the trailer for old shingles and stuff. So relocated the trailer (it’s a big one) to my house and started 2 weeks ago. Have tossed more stuff than I realized I had.

Had unopened boxes from my move 19 years ago. GONE now.

Lotsa cool/nice/collectible (really) stuff remains and will be conveyed to friends BEFORE my dirt nap so I can share their enjoyment. Daresay some will be surprised and happy.

Be safe.

 

[Crazywader]

Recently someone very close to me passed away. He lived in a rented house and I was tasked with clearing all his stuff out. Friends and family got some of it. We managed to sell a little. But honestly, about 80% of it went either to charity or straight to the garbage.
Its amazing how much stuff we accumulate and believe we just can't live without only to find that its useless to anybody else.

Heard this recently and trying to embrace it:

Use things not people
Love people not things

 

[Golddollar]

My late aunt and uncle who lived 4 blocks from me were married for 63 years. Do you know how much stuff can be accumulated in 63 years when you were raised in a mindset that everything should be saved? My cousins came up to the house week after week to clean out the house. Seeing what my cousins had to do gave me some spark toward trying to shake down my house, but I seem to get stalled.