Southern Expression Really Old.

I’ll hit you so hard your children will be born with bruises.

If brains were lard, he wouldn’t have enough to grease a frying pan.
 
I used to know an old man that when asked how he was doing, he would respond, "I feel like I could drink a fifth of Wild Turkey and jump a ten foot barbwire fence backwards." (He was a former Fl. state congressman, so lying came easy)
 
Some of that is from the folks from the Northern states....
I grew up in Baltimore, and if you were from the east side, you were from Ballamer Murlin, warshed your dishes in the zinc, wrenched them off real good, and sat on the stoop (front steps) on a hot night, and if it was really hot, you might go and sleep in Droodle Park (Druid Hill Park). Baltimore was a mix of North and South, in accents and expressions of speech.
I think one thing that was strongly Baltimore I didn't hear much elsewhere was the women very often addressed everyone, family and strangers alike, as "hon", pronounced "Hun."
 
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I frequently had the older waitresses - 40ish and above - at Po' Folks call me "hon". Not the younger girls, though. Just the older ones.
 
I'm so happy: If I was a mule, I'd be runnin'.

...smilin' like a mule chewin' briers

We're goin' to the gospel music sing in Waycross.

What we need is a good ole revival.

Y'all talk funny.

We're going to the river and spend the weekend frying fish. (It took about a day to get there by wagon, and about a day to get back home back then.)
 
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