LoadedRound
Member
He sounds more competent than me. He spent his life serving his family and his country. Leave the gentleman alone.
86 year old- take keys and guns? Need advice
- Thread starter Stonecove
- Start date
I'd make sure your FIL knows about the "concerns" of his children. Would they plot to take his freedoms? He should tell them to suck eggs. He deserves respect. If they would take his gun, they will water down his whiskey, next.
feralmerril
Absent Comrade
If anyone needs a gun it`s old people as they are targets and thought to be weak and feeble. Not often is a tough looking 6 ft 4" 300 pound 40 year old guy robbed or rolled! The cowards will try women and old people first. If the FIL`s mind is normal he needs to be left alone! Now, how to handle the lib daughter, I cant really say. If the old mans mind is sharp, I suspect he should be able to argue his own situation.
Dad was about 87 when he got bad. I lived with him for 6 months in duress. His brothers and sisters wanted me to step in and get him declaired incompitent. Mom had died, I had just retired and was single myself. I do have a sister but she lived in calif and he in wisconsin. It was a miserable 6 months! Dad was stubborn and tougher than me. My tatic was to try and reason with him daily. It finaly worked and he voluntarly went to assisted liveing. Had to take his guns then. No way was I going to go to court to get him declaired incompentent!
One morning we drove to the village post office as usual. On the way dad told me how a stranger knocked on the door and needed a ride downtown. He said I woke up here and there was no one with me in the car! I then remembered that I thought the car was parked different than I had left it! I also heard him that night and just thought he was going to the rest room or something. Thats when I really knew I had a problem! Dad had already lost his drivers license and lived 7 miles from the nearest store. Another factor was the people that lived in the rest home was afraid of him. Dads body was still strong. At 6ft 5"s he still was a imposeing figure to those girls, although he always was a perfect gentilman. When the mind go`s then you will have a problem. Sounds like right now it`s still a bum rap.
Dad was about 87 when he got bad. I lived with him for 6 months in duress. His brothers and sisters wanted me to step in and get him declaired incompitent. Mom had died, I had just retired and was single myself. I do have a sister but she lived in calif and he in wisconsin. It was a miserable 6 months! Dad was stubborn and tougher than me. My tatic was to try and reason with him daily. It finaly worked and he voluntarly went to assisted liveing. Had to take his guns then. No way was I going to go to court to get him declaired incompentent!
One morning we drove to the village post office as usual. On the way dad told me how a stranger knocked on the door and needed a ride downtown. He said I woke up here and there was no one with me in the car! I then remembered that I thought the car was parked different than I had left it! I also heard him that night and just thought he was going to the rest room or something. Thats when I really knew I had a problem! Dad had already lost his drivers license and lived 7 miles from the nearest store. Another factor was the people that lived in the rest home was afraid of him. Dads body was still strong. At 6ft 5"s he still was a imposeing figure to those girls, although he always was a perfect gentilman. When the mind go`s then you will have a problem. Sounds like right now it`s still a bum rap.
quneur
Member
I would probably do the exact opposite of what family members would do; I would go and get a home defense shotgun since his eye sight is going. If you feel it is unsafe, you could always give him reloaded shells but substitute the gunpowder with something non-flammable to give the shell weight. He wouldn't know the difference. Or you could get him non lethal rounds, rubber projectile or pepper spray.
Brian41
Member
I was fortunate with my Dad as he gave me his gun long before he got ill and he gave up driving after a parking lot mishap scared him about his driving abilities. Once his cancer started effecting his brain he told us he couldn't be trusted alone and we moved in with him until he died.
My FIL is a little more difficult. He got lost in his car so we bought him a GPS and he changed it to French which I can't seem to revert to English. He lives at home alone since my MIL died and is okay driving in familar territory. He lives in a not so good neighborhood now in Flint, Michigan and has lots of guns. He keeps a 586 loaded and handy for his protection which we recommend. His other children don't like the idea either but we tell them to shutup and mind their own business. They are in no position to protect him but I am and will go stay there if it comes to that.
My FIL is a proud man from Arkansas and has always fended for himself and his family. He has a place here if ever needed but I suspect we'd have to go there to care for him as he's too proud to move away from his home. I'd have a hard time of ever asking him to give up his guns but if it came to that I'd talk with him about doing so. I think he'd trust me enough to do so as long as I was there with my guns to protect him.
If I ever have problems from the other siblings I'll tell them to stuff a sock in it and offer to help with that task too.
My FIL is a little more difficult. He got lost in his car so we bought him a GPS and he changed it to French which I can't seem to revert to English. He lives at home alone since my MIL died and is okay driving in familar territory. He lives in a not so good neighborhood now in Flint, Michigan and has lots of guns. He keeps a 586 loaded and handy for his protection which we recommend. His other children don't like the idea either but we tell them to shutup and mind their own business. They are in no position to protect him but I am and will go stay there if it comes to that.
My FIL is a proud man from Arkansas and has always fended for himself and his family. He has a place here if ever needed but I suspect we'd have to go there to care for him as he's too proud to move away from his home. I'd have a hard time of ever asking him to give up his guns but if it came to that I'd talk with him about doing so. I think he'd trust me enough to do so as long as I was there with my guns to protect him.
If I ever have problems from the other siblings I'll tell them to stuff a sock in it and offer to help with that task too.
I'm kinda liking the idea of offering him an improved self defense weapon, though I know his familiarity and comfort with the .22 will probably override the offer. An 870 loaded with LTL rounds would assuredly give a bad guy pause. One load of rubber shot to the torso would certainly be a disincentive!
true_shooter
Member
Goin through the driving situation currently with my grandma, as for your FIL and his gun. Are his hands cold and dead?
H.Callahan
Member
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My Dad lived until he was 90 and I would (and did) trust him with a gun until the day he died. He had just recently passed his driver's test (better than most younger people according to the examiner) before he died.
Age has absolutely nothing to do with it. It is mental capability and physical capability that should determine when it is "time".
There actually is a pretty easy solution for this. Take your FIL to the range with the gun and let him fire a box of ammo. You should be able to tell very quickly whether he is handling the gun safely and whether he still has the coordination and hand strength to fire the gun. If he is fine, then tell the relatives to lay off. Maybe you can make this an annual outing and get some quality time with him before it is too late
Age has absolutely nothing to do with it. It is mental capability and physical capability that should determine when it is "time".
There actually is a pretty easy solution for this. Take your FIL to the range with the gun and let him fire a box of ammo. You should be able to tell very quickly whether he is handling the gun safely and whether he still has the coordination and hand strength to fire the gun. If he is fine, then tell the relatives to lay off. Maybe you can make this an annual outing and get some quality time with him before it is too late
kraigwy
US Veteran
Its about the gun, not the grandpa. They don't like guns so the go after Grandpa.
Tell them to pound sand. Leave Grandpa alone.
Remember a lot of us are getting up there in age. How would we feel?
Tell them to pound sand. Leave Grandpa alone.
Remember a lot of us are getting up there in age. How would we feel?
LAS&W4me
Member
Yeah I have to disagree on this one as well. My grandfather is 78 years old. He stopped driving this past winter due to poor health. I still wouldn't want to test him if he has his 38 Colt Police
Bill_in_fl
Member
Here's the perfect solution.
At some time soon, when the old gentleman just starts to get dementia and has some days of hallucinations and others where he is lucid, go see them all for a visit around Halloween at night when the old gentleman would be sleeping.
Bring along your camera, an American WW2 uniform and two nazi helmets and tunics. You dress in the WW2 American uniform and tell your two in laws you want to have them put on the nazi coats and helmets so you can get a Halloween gag picture of you all together.
As soon as they have on the nazi outfits, tell them you left your camera in the other room. Now quickly go wake the old gentleman up and excitedly tell him that headquarters has been overrun by nazis and for him to grab his gun and for him to follow you and shoot any nazis on sight.
Thinking he is back in WW2, he shoots the nazis, you call the cops explaining you don't know what happened and that you just went to get your camera for a Halloween picture of all of you together when you heard these shots and came out to find he had shot them both dead. The state understands the old gentleman didn't know what he was doing and thought he was back in WW2 and puts him in a nursing home where he can get the best professional care....which is where he would belong at that point anyway, and the world is less two liberal rabid anti-gunners and your wife would then be the old gentleman's only heir.
It's a win win all the way around. ROFL
.
At some time soon, when the old gentleman just starts to get dementia and has some days of hallucinations and others where he is lucid, go see them all for a visit around Halloween at night when the old gentleman would be sleeping.
Bring along your camera, an American WW2 uniform and two nazi helmets and tunics. You dress in the WW2 American uniform and tell your two in laws you want to have them put on the nazi coats and helmets so you can get a Halloween gag picture of you all together.
As soon as they have on the nazi outfits, tell them you left your camera in the other room. Now quickly go wake the old gentleman up and excitedly tell him that headquarters has been overrun by nazis and for him to grab his gun and for him to follow you and shoot any nazis on sight.
Thinking he is back in WW2, he shoots the nazis, you call the cops explaining you don't know what happened and that you just went to get your camera for a Halloween picture of all of you together when you heard these shots and came out to find he had shot them both dead. The state understands the old gentleman didn't know what he was doing and thought he was back in WW2 and puts him in a nursing home where he can get the best professional care....which is where he would belong at that point anyway, and the world is less two liberal rabid anti-gunners and your wife would then be the old gentleman's only heir.
It's a win win all the way around. ROFL
.
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feralmerril
Absent Comrade
I reread the OP again. Sounds like the old man is visiting the daughter in her house. Think about that for a minuete. That is their house. They dont see things the way you do, never the less, its their house, not yours. Sure, you might try to give some level headed imput, but it also sounds like the old boy is able to leave the place under his own power too.
Lets say his smokeing in your house drives you nuts. The inlaws hear about it, doesnt bother them any, and tell you to let him smoke in your house. Now how would you handle that one?
Lets say his smokeing in your house drives you nuts. The inlaws hear about it, doesnt bother them any, and tell you to let him smoke in your house. Now how would you handle that one?
Alpo
Member
I agree with part of it. "I'm sorry Dad, this is my house and I don't want guns in my house. Your choices are go back home, stay in a motel while out here visiting, or keep the gun somewhere else". That's basically what my mother told my brother when he brought his girlfriend on a visit. "Don't care what you do 'back home'. This is my house. You wanna sleep in my house, you sleep in different rooms. You want to sleep together, this town is full of motels."
But how does any of that match up with, "He's an old man. Take his car keys away from him", and, "We will go to HIS HOUSE and take his guns, whether he wants us to or not, because GUNS ARE EVIL"?
But how does any of that match up with, "He's an old man. Take his car keys away from him", and, "We will go to HIS HOUSE and take his guns, whether he wants us to or not, because GUNS ARE EVIL"?
Cpo1944
Member
AMEN .Those people need to remember "WHO`S THE DADDY"!!!
baccusboy
Member
I would be more worried about grandkids finding something like that.
Get him a small bedside gun box (not the biometrics, which don't actually work well). The push-button ones are best.
Just a side note... my friend's mom had alzheimers, and they wondered what to do about her driving, as it was getting worse. Then one day she walked into the house for help, because she couldn't remember how to turn the car off.
They knew it was time.
Get him a small bedside gun box (not the biometrics, which don't actually work well). The push-button ones are best.
Just a side note... my friend's mom had alzheimers, and they wondered what to do about her driving, as it was getting worse. Then one day she walked into the house for help, because she couldn't remember how to turn the car off.
They knew it was time.
oldRoger
US Veteran
One thing we should be careful about is holding us old folks to a higher standard than the mill-run of drivers and shooters.
Certainly there are thousands if not hundreds of thousands of drivers in FL who should not be on the road. It is true that in some cases age is the main factor, but that age factor is as likely to be youth as old age.
Whenever you see a totally distracted driver (texting or whatever) you are looking at someone who should have stayed home. Very few of the old fogey crowd text or drive under the influence, and I for one seldom violate the speed limits at least by much.
When us see some total screw-up at the range, or watch a "here Bubba hold my beer" episode, youth is more likely to be the problem.
Certainly if a relative or friend is impaired it behooves us to help prevent collateral damage, however hands off those of us who are getting along just fine.
A gent I knew from the barber shop was doing a fine job living with his young (86 year old) wife managing his affairs and driving until just after he hit 100
Certainly there are thousands if not hundreds of thousands of drivers in FL who should not be on the road. It is true that in some cases age is the main factor, but that age factor is as likely to be youth as old age.
Whenever you see a totally distracted driver (texting or whatever) you are looking at someone who should have stayed home. Very few of the old fogey crowd text or drive under the influence, and I for one seldom violate the speed limits at least by much.
When us see some total screw-up at the range, or watch a "here Bubba hold my beer" episode, youth is more likely to be the problem.
Certainly if a relative or friend is impaired it behooves us to help prevent collateral damage, however hands off those of us who are getting along just fine.
A gent I knew from the barber shop was doing a fine job living with his young (86 year old) wife managing his affairs and driving until just after he hit 100
feralmerril
Absent Comrade
I have a 95 year old uncle still driveing. If he ever had a accident I didnt hear about it!
My dad is 93 and still works full time for the Army as a Lawyer.
Drives himself at 4:30 am to the job,has trouble walking and has had a stroke and has a 70% plus hearing loss (WWII North Africa and Italy campaigns) but is sharp as a tack. Granted he's not your father in law but until a doctor or the courts put you of your wife in charge of him,leave him alone or your hasten his death.
An elderly persons age is NOT a reason to make decisions for them.
Penmon
Drives himself at 4:30 am to the job,has trouble walking and has had a stroke and has a 70% plus hearing loss (WWII North Africa and Italy campaigns) but is sharp as a tack. Granted he's not your father in law but until a doctor or the courts put you of your wife in charge of him,leave him alone or your hasten his death.
An elderly persons age is NOT a reason to make decisions for them.
Penmon
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65kaiser
Member
He is visiting the daughter. The gun is at his own home under the mattress not with him at the daughters home.
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