I too have been on the receiving end of complaints, insults and tirades from individuals and groups that had little or no understanding of the issue at hand. It was part of my job to help them to understand without appearing condescending or rude. Sometimes those individuals or groups went away feeling better and with a better understanding of our side of things and sometimes they didn't but they could never truthfully say that they went away feeling insulted.
As a leader, whether in the private sector or public, handling stress is part of your job and nothing is to be gained by talking down to people. Being arrogant, curt or snarky to others certainly reflects poorly on the person who does it and often on the organization one represents. I believe that Mr. Hornady's manner of relating the same message was much better than Mr. Vanderbrink's and almost certainly better received by most who have watched both videos.
I have had similiar experiences and I concurr with everything you said. I was going to create my own post but you have basically covered everything I could have said.
I always kept in mind that no matter how upset or abusive a caller got (and there were some who were very abusive), if afterward I was asked the question "Were you disrespectful/impolite/Did you raise your voice to the caller?" I wanted to be able to reply quickly with a straight face "No" rather than "Yes, but . . . ."