I have it on good authority that the final family reunion will be ginormous.
Adoption, genealogy and finding your bio parents and a cousin I never knew I had
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I had wonderful adoptive parents. Always knew I was adopted but it never concerned me. About the time my adoptive mother died, my then gf persuaded me to look into my ancestry. I found that my mother was born in London in 1912 and somehow she had ended up in Saskatchewan, got married and had a couple of kids in the '30s. She met my biological father there, whose wife had died recently. They ended up together in Vancouver BC.
Never found out much about my mother, who had split from my dad after I was born (he wanted me, she absolutely not!) But I found that my dad (who had died in the late 80's) was born in 1903 in a tiny town in Kentucky, the last of 10 children. His parents (my grandparents) were born during the Civil War! Their first child, my uncle Bob, was born in 1880 - a little ahead of "official schedule" if the marriage certificate was correct
How my family got from Coopersville KY to Saskatchewan I'm not sure but a neighbour told me Canada was apparently short of farmers prior to WWI so people trundled up from the US.
I was doing this research in the early days of the internet, c.1999, and in the process of tracing my father's family, had tried to fax the Wayne Co. school district in KY very late at night as rates were lower. Faxes weren't going through, so I tried calling the number I'd been given. To my astonishment, a man answered the phone! I apologized profusely as it was around 1:30am his time. "That's OK"", he said, It's a nice night and I'm up anyway." Turned out the number I'd been given was incorrect. I told him why I was calling and we had a nice chat for about 20 mins. He'd been in the USAF in WWII and lost a leg.
Ffwd a year or so and I got a family album from a cousin who was living in Vancouver. I was looking through it again some time later and came across the surname "Criswell." Hmmm.... the vet's name was Sterlie Criswell. I think I may have been talking to a relative in that nocturnal phone call. If only I'd known then what I knew a few years later...
Never found out much about my mother, who had split from my dad after I was born (he wanted me, she absolutely not!) But I found that my dad (who had died in the late 80's) was born in 1903 in a tiny town in Kentucky, the last of 10 children. His parents (my grandparents) were born during the Civil War! Their first child, my uncle Bob, was born in 1880 - a little ahead of "official schedule" if the marriage certificate was correct
How my family got from Coopersville KY to Saskatchewan I'm not sure but a neighbour told me Canada was apparently short of farmers prior to WWI so people trundled up from the US.I was doing this research in the early days of the internet, c.1999, and in the process of tracing my father's family, had tried to fax the Wayne Co. school district in KY very late at night as rates were lower. Faxes weren't going through, so I tried calling the number I'd been given. To my astonishment, a man answered the phone! I apologized profusely as it was around 1:30am his time. "That's OK"", he said, It's a nice night and I'm up anyway." Turned out the number I'd been given was incorrect. I told him why I was calling and we had a nice chat for about 20 mins. He'd been in the USAF in WWII and lost a leg.
Ffwd a year or so and I got a family album from a cousin who was living in Vancouver. I was looking through it again some time later and came across the surname "Criswell." Hmmm.... the vet's name was Sterlie Criswell. I think I may have been talking to a relative in that nocturnal phone call. If only I'd known then what I knew a few years later...
When I was talking to Christi, she said she went looking for her folks as he said she always wondered who her bio-parents are why she was put up for adoption. And, she wanted to do it before they passed.
She asked me if I had a desire to look for my bio-folks. I said that my folks are MY parents and that I won the lottery of life with them! My name says it all!
I know a little bit about my origins, though. My mom was a nurse and an MD she worked for asked if her and my dad wanted to adopt - they were childless and in their mid40s.. So the MD hooked them up with an attorney and got everything going and let my folks know when a baby would be available for adoption. First, it was my sister, then 5 years later, me. The MD, then became our PCP until he retired. I never knew of his significance until my folks told me what he did when he died. The MD even helped me with medical waivers to get in the military when I was DQed at MEPS. I wish I could've thanked him before he passed. I've seen the paperwork in the safety deposit box, but I've never looked at it.
Anyway, if it hadn't been for social media and the DNA website, Christi said she would've had a very difficult time tracking down anybody due to privacy laws.
From her research, she said that her dad's, my dad's family, originated in the Basque region of Spain. That explains why some members of the family look the way they look.
I'm glad that she found what she was looking for even though it had a few glitches.
She asked me if I had a desire to look for my bio-folks. I said that my folks are MY parents and that I won the lottery of life with them! My name says it all!
I know a little bit about my origins, though. My mom was a nurse and an MD she worked for asked if her and my dad wanted to adopt - they were childless and in their mid40s.. So the MD hooked them up with an attorney and got everything going and let my folks know when a baby would be available for adoption. First, it was my sister, then 5 years later, me. The MD, then became our PCP until he retired. I never knew of his significance until my folks told me what he did when he died. The MD even helped me with medical waivers to get in the military when I was DQed at MEPS. I wish I could've thanked him before he passed. I've seen the paperwork in the safety deposit box, but I've never looked at it.
Anyway, if it hadn't been for social media and the DNA website, Christi said she would've had a very difficult time tracking down anybody due to privacy laws.
From her research, she said that her dad's, my dad's family, originated in the Basque region of Spain. That explains why some members of the family look the way they look.
I'm glad that she found what she was looking for even though it had a few glitches.
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BLACKHAWKNJ
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Cast your net wide. My mother never met my paternal grandfather, knew his name, heard he was a Marine, in the Boxer Rebellion. Typed it in-I have a pretty rare German last name. And there he was. A program in the WPA to identify veterans' graves discovered him for me. "USMC 1896-1902".
Also found some information from a German ancestry site. He was born there in 1872, came to the USA with his family in 1881-before Ellis Island.
Also found some information from a German ancestry site. He was born there in 1872, came to the USA with his family in 1881-before Ellis Island.
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We had a second DNA surprise. My mother's cousin, who is younger than I am, did the DNA thing and ended up getting an email from a man looking for his birth parents. The DNA said they were highly likely first cousins. My grandfather had two older sisters and when you looked at his birthday and his three possible bio parents it was strongly suggestive that my grandfather was his dad. That was a surprise. The only way to ascertain the truth would be to DNA my 88 year old demented mother. No. Way. I would not allow it.The mystery will have no answer.
I traced my paternal side back to Edgar Allan Poe. My maternal roots go back to Robert Burns.
One struggled with morality and one against it.
I have baggage.
One struggled with morality and one against it.
I have baggage.
My adoptive family name goes back to around AD 1130. There's gotta be some baggage in there!
DWalt
Member
In my reasearch, I have one uncle who was a Navy lifer. He joined during WWI and stayed in through WWII, retiring sometime after the war. I tried to get his service record without success. His records were destroyed during the St. Louis military records fire, as were many vet's records. In any event, I knew he had been married, but I knew nothing about his wife. I did find her name, and also that they lived in Shanghai in the later 1930s, and that she had two other husbands and a couple of kids. She was definitely American, not Chinese. It struck me that the probability was high that she could have been one of those women who hitched onto Navy men to get spousal benefits, and might have even been a hooker. But I guess I will never know. She died in 1945, in Washington DC, cause unknown, while still married to my uncle. That was about all I could find about her.
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Some things are best not bought to light.
My maternal grandfather fell in love, long before he met my grandmother, but her family disapproved of him and so the relationship ended (supposedly). He went on to meet and marry my grandmother and my mum and older aunt were born.
My grandparents marriage was hardly "usual" for the period, (1930's - 1950's, at least I hope not). I know my grandmother had an affair with a boarder at one point (who also had affairs with my aunt and my mother, who was 14 at the time) and there may have been others. As for my grandfather.....
In the late 1950's my grandparents divorced and my grandfather married his long lost love, although maybe not really lost. My grandmother died when I was 2 years old. My step-grandmother was a wonderful person who happily danced at my first wedding in 1986, despite suffering from stage 4 cancer at the time. She had two children from her first husband, a boy and a girl. Problem was they didn't really look alike and had different personalities. My step aunt, Pauline, and my mother were great friends, and mum always introduced her to new people as her sister, not step-sister.
Fast forward to the early 2000's. Karen and I were visiting my cousin who told us she had some family news, but that I should not tell my mother. My cousin was not telling her mother as both of them had worshiped our grandfather and would not hear anything 'dishonourable" about him, even though he was long passed.
Apparently my step-aunt was my grandfathers daughter, so he and my step-grandmother had continued their relationship at some point after both were married to other people.
About a year before my mother passed she told me she had some surprising news. Her step-sister was actually her half-sister. I told mum that I had known this for some time, it was a family "secret" that had somehow been exposed. When she asked me why I had not told her I simply said none of us wanted her to think anything less of her father.
My aunt Pauline is the only surviving one of the three children off y grandfather, although she is now in her 80's and frail.
We are planning a family reunion in January '25 and hopefully she will be there with her son and daughter too. After all, we are all one family.
My maternal grandfather fell in love, long before he met my grandmother, but her family disapproved of him and so the relationship ended (supposedly). He went on to meet and marry my grandmother and my mum and older aunt were born.
My grandparents marriage was hardly "usual" for the period, (1930's - 1950's, at least I hope not). I know my grandmother had an affair with a boarder at one point (who also had affairs with my aunt and my mother, who was 14 at the time) and there may have been others. As for my grandfather.....
In the late 1950's my grandparents divorced and my grandfather married his long lost love, although maybe not really lost. My grandmother died when I was 2 years old. My step-grandmother was a wonderful person who happily danced at my first wedding in 1986, despite suffering from stage 4 cancer at the time. She had two children from her first husband, a boy and a girl. Problem was they didn't really look alike and had different personalities. My step aunt, Pauline, and my mother were great friends, and mum always introduced her to new people as her sister, not step-sister.
Fast forward to the early 2000's. Karen and I were visiting my cousin who told us she had some family news, but that I should not tell my mother. My cousin was not telling her mother as both of them had worshiped our grandfather and would not hear anything 'dishonourable" about him, even though he was long passed.
Apparently my step-aunt was my grandfathers daughter, so he and my step-grandmother had continued their relationship at some point after both were married to other people.
About a year before my mother passed she told me she had some surprising news. Her step-sister was actually her half-sister. I told mum that I had known this for some time, it was a family "secret" that had somehow been exposed. When she asked me why I had not told her I simply said none of us wanted her to think anything less of her father.
My aunt Pauline is the only surviving one of the three children off y grandfather, although she is now in her 80's and frail.
We are planning a family reunion in January '25 and hopefully she will be there with her son and daughter too. After all, we are all one family.
My mothers family were English/Scottish Catholics and came to the new world in the early 1600s ...probably prisoners. I grew up on the Eastern Shore of Maryland...People did not leave. from the first census there were approx as many people in our county as there were almost 200 years later. Every body was related at one point or another. I married a gal born on Long Island so I didn't marry some 2nd 3rd or 4th cousin....and I found out later her fathers family came from Tidewater Va in about 1700...where I had lots of relatives of one sort or another. When a kid I had to go to family reunions and we had people at 'em from Md De Va Pa and NC and everybody had family bibles with 'em. There was some people I didn't want anybody to know I was acquainted with much less related to
DWalt
Member
In researching my wife's genealogy, her father's family had settled in northeast Ohio very early in the 19th Century. It must have been a sparsely settled frontier area at that time. I found that there seemed to be four family names that were very prevalent in the records, and nearly all marriages in that community involved mainly just those among those four names. Looks like there was a great deal of family inter-breeding going on there, probably because no other white people were available to marry. One of those family names was Firestone, yes that Firestone. My wife does have a fairly indirect connection to Harvey Firestone through her father's lineage. Her grandfather grew up in his aunt's family, and the aunt had married into the Firestone clan. I think her husband was a cousin of Harvey.
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Whew! I couldn't help thinking of this:
O, what a tangled web we weave,
When first we practise to deceive!
But when we've practised for a while
How vastly we improve our style.
("Marmion", Sir Walter Scott, addition by J.R. Pope)
When first we practise to deceive!
But when we've practised for a while
How vastly we improve our style.
("Marmion", Sir Walter Scott, addition by J.R. Pope)
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On the bright side, my SIL's bio-dad has no other children. Him and his wife were thrilled to suddenly have three grandchildren. The only barrier is bio-dad lives in Hawaii and we're all in Texas.
The Philippines is full of women shopping for American husbands. Then and now. But that is probably true for many countries from Albania to Zambia.
My mom married several times and I have several half-brothers. When I was 12 years old, my dad told me that the reason he and my mom broke up was that he came back from sea duty and there was a baby on the way that wasn't his. My maternal grandmother confirmed this revelation. I asked mom about this once and she confirmed it and that he had been adopted after he was born.
A number of years back, my oldest brother told me that he had been contacted by a man who had a DNA link to him, and thus to me. It turned out to be our missing brother. This happened after mom had passed away.
You can find out ALL sorts of things about your family. I saw a copy of my mom and dad's marriage certificate and the dates between their wedding and my birth were, how you say, kinda compressed.
A number of years back, my oldest brother told me that he had been contacted by a man who had a DNA link to him, and thus to me. It turned out to be our missing brother. This happened after mom had passed away.
You can find out ALL sorts of things about your family. I saw a copy of my mom and dad's marriage certificate and the dates between their wedding and my birth were, how you say, kinda compressed.
Rotorhead1026
Member
I’ve learned all sorts of things about my extended family over the last several years except for an answer about what became of my dads older 1/2 brother.I’m dreading the day I hear from a cousin who was put up for adoption long ago.I just learned the story recently. His mom,my cousin, was 15 when he was born,she’s 73 now and it’s been a secret all of these years
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I admire both but lack their gift of the pen.
In 1786, while seated in church behind a lady of dignity, Burns became mesmerized by a louse crawling in and out from under her bonnet.
He then penned "To a Louse"
Bloody brilliant, that was.
Y'all go up ahead without me on the "DNA reveal" adventure. I have plowed many a field all over NJ and a good bit of Florida. Last thing I need as a "resident geriatric" is one or more "seedlings" reaching out to "dad."
My good friend did it and found out his sister was only "half" illuminating that mom was as frisky as traveling musician dad. Went and visited his "new family" over in Tampa. I prefer to wait until after my expiration date to find any "additional truth" about me. Joe
My good friend did it and found out his sister was only "half" illuminating that mom was as frisky as traveling musician dad. Went and visited his "new family" over in Tampa. I prefer to wait until after my expiration date to find any "additional truth" about me. Joe
Walter Rego
Member
A little more than 20 years ago a woman came forward claiming to be my half-sister. She said she had been adopted but discovered who her birth mother was when she was a teenager. But her mother would never reveal the name of her father. Fast forward about 30 years and her mother made a deathbed confession and named my father.
Well, my father died when I was a young boy so I couldn't ask him. My mother was still alive at the time the woman came forward and I sure as heck didn't want to ask her about it. If she didn't know, it would have killed her to hear the news and if she did know she had a good reason to have kept it a secret. The only thing I could determine was that the woman's mother and my father had worked together.
Fast forward another 18 years. The woman in question submitted her DNA to 23 and Me (I think). Well, she did find out who her real dad was. And it wasn't mine. And not only that but found two half-brothers, one with her real dad and mother, and another one from her mother and some other guy. It seems her mom had given away another baby for adoption besides her.
Now why her mom put the finger on my dad I'll never know. And I don't want to speculate. But my siblings and I sure could have done without the whole dark secret if easy & inexpensive DNA testing had been available about 20 years ago.
One of these days I'm going to submit my own DNA but will make sure to pay for the more detailed testing. The $99 specials don't reveal much.
Well, my father died when I was a young boy so I couldn't ask him. My mother was still alive at the time the woman came forward and I sure as heck didn't want to ask her about it. If she didn't know, it would have killed her to hear the news and if she did know she had a good reason to have kept it a secret. The only thing I could determine was that the woman's mother and my father had worked together.
Fast forward another 18 years. The woman in question submitted her DNA to 23 and Me (I think). Well, she did find out who her real dad was. And it wasn't mine. And not only that but found two half-brothers, one with her real dad and mother, and another one from her mother and some other guy. It seems her mom had given away another baby for adoption besides her.
Now why her mom put the finger on my dad I'll never know. And I don't want to speculate. But my siblings and I sure could have done without the whole dark secret if easy & inexpensive DNA testing had been available about 20 years ago.
One of these days I'm going to submit my own DNA but will make sure to pay for the more detailed testing. The $99 specials don't reveal much.
