Angel the steak tenderizer

[jeffrefrig]

So yesterday I brought home a couple Delmonicos for supper. I had the on the counter with the small amount of spices. turned my back for 25 seconds. You know it: Angel had one in the dining room, chewed but not yet inhaled. Wife grabbed it and rinsed it off. I ate that one; pretty tender, even more for the cut of meat. She's a great house dog, as was my Daisy. Weimaraners. Smartest dogs I ever had to feed, but could never break either of this. My fault for leaving the meat out. Next time, it's round steak! We'll see how she tenderizes that! Still love her. They're known for that and I'm known to forget that fact!!
So, Mr. Faulkner, even my pup has at least one talent!!! She hates, um, panhandlers, too!

 

[Greyman50]

LOL, never forget our Greyhound Gear eating the chicken off my Zaksbys salad…

 

[Spajohn]

I once had a siamese cat swipe a big steak off of my plate while I wasn't looking and drag it down to the basement in the dust under the water heater.
I let him have it (the steak). He was one smart cat.

 

[mckenney99]

I once had a Husky/Wolf hybrid and she was incredibly smart but also incredibly sneaky. I once made the mistake of setting a chicken sandwich on the dining room table, had to go back into the kitchen to get something I had forgotten and when I returned to the dining room, the chicken from the sandwich was gone. The bread and all the condiments were still there but there was NOT a trace of the chicken left except for Sasha standing there with a grin on her face. While she had never been given food from the table and she had never been one to beg for table scraps, it was my fault for leaving such a temptation, it was in her DNA. When I scolded her she looked like I had just crushed her world. From that day forward, whenever she would get into something she wasn't supposed to, I would call her a chicken stealing dog and she would slink off in shame.

 

[LVSteve]

I think I just remembered why I don't have a dog.

 

[SMSgt]

We had a dog and a cat. The cat--as are all cats are--was bad for getting on the counters. The wife brought home a box of donuts and then left to pick up the daughter at dance class. When she returned home, both the cat and dog were laying on the kitchen floor with stuffed bellies next to the empty donut box. Both just gave her a "We know, we know" look.

 

[kozmic]

If you live by the motto that "You shouldn't have to bend over to pet your dog", then you run the risk of stuff disappearing off of kitchen counters. Luckily we haven't had any real four-legged food thieves, but we do get the rare, bold snatch and grab.

 

[Eric300]

I've had that happen to me more than a few times. The thing is.....you can't blame your dog!

 

[Rudi]

They are wolves at heart.

 

[grover99]

I had one cat that you could not leave a loaf of bread out. Several times I found the whole loaf on the floor with a hole chewed in the wrapper and half a slice of bread missing. That cat must have been part rat.

 

[arjay]

They are hysterically funny dogs. My neighbors would escape occasionally (jumped through a closed window once!) and if my back door was open he would be up in the kitchen in a flash lol

 

[JohnRippert]

Yup, we had a whole loaf of banana bread wrapped in cellophane on the counter one night when we went to dinner. When we came back there was cellophane on the floor and for a few seconds I could not figure out where it came from. Then I remembered. Our whippet got it down and the other two dogs helped finish it off. Lesson learned.

 

[jeffrefrig]

I could never blame the dog because I know what they do. I tell them BAD, etc., but it happens again if I don't watch. Damned dog isn't two yet and has cost me more than a wife!! Love 'em both, though!

 

[lihpster]

The folks had a beagle that had ATTITUDE, BABY! I can't remember how many times I walked through the door and she was causing some sort of drama or another.
One day, I came home to my father shouting and the dog growling and thumps and bangs coming from the dining room. I go in there and Dad has Lucy backed into a corner with a broom. She keeps trying to slide away but he keeps moving the broom to block her. Finally, I understand that he's shouting "Drop it!" at her. I look closer and she has a foot and a half long summer sausage clamped in her jaws in a death grip. She moves one way. "Drop it!" She growls. She moves another way. "Drop it!" She growls. After watching this for 30 seconds, I'm in tears on the ground, laughing hysterically. This goes on for about a minute before she finally tears a big chunk out of the middle of the thing, dropping the rest in the process. Dad reaches down and snatches that up, which means she's now free to get by him and out the door, to enjoy her lunch al fresco, as it were.
As hard as I was laughing, I laughed even harder when my mother told me that The Great Sausage Squabble had been going on for a couple of minutes before I got home.
We had better behaved dogs, but none were more fun. I miss the old girl.

 

[Old 44 Guy]

I have a cat, well sort of. A kitten wander here 7 years back. Starving, wet & lost. An old deer doe was licking the water off her as it was raining. I took pity on the poor thing and fed her a can of Tuna, so that's her name. Never had a cat before so had her fixed. Tuna is an out door cat and keeps the mice away, I think.

 

[Kevin G]

When the local market has deep sea scallops on sale, I will often buy a bunch, and then freeze them in packages of about a dozen.
Had defrosted a package on a plate with a couple paper towels. Sirius, our golden retriever, was napping on her bed. I turned away from the task at hand, and when I resumed, I was looking at an empty plate. My initial reaction was to doubt my sanity, until I looked at Siri with guilt, written all over her face.
My wife was elsewhere in the house, and I didn't need to hear from her about this. I got out another package and started a stealth defrost. Got to thinking about the possibility of scallops being bad for a dog. I called up the emergency vet clinic, where we are on first name basis with the people. I spoke with a tech about the dog, consuming 3/4 of a pound of scallops. He checked with the vet and said it shouldn't be a problem except might cause upset stomach, loose bowels, etc. OK, I figure we're clear.
Go back to prepping the meal with my stealth defrosted scallops, I then realize the dog had consumed a couple of paper towels. Called the clinic back, asked the tech " what about paper towels?" He checked with the vet and said they could cause a blockage. Try to notice if they get passed.
Had a nice scallop dinner with the wife and the next few days kept a close eye on what Siri was expelling. Saw the remains and figured we're all good.
Now a few years later we are down at the clinic with Siri, the vet is reviewing her history, talking to himself, mentioning something about the scallops. My wife has excellent hearing, overheard him and asked him about it.
Siri and I were busted for the scallop caper several years after the fact.
Kevin G