Any Good Quotes on Stupidity?

[mwtdvm]

My boss at TAMU thirty years ago, when observing an act of stupidity, would say

"Oh well, we all can't be President of the Bank".

I find myself using it more and more often,,,

 

[E Z MUNNY]

I used to have a sign in my cubicle which said:

STUPIDITY GOT ME INTO THIS MESS
WHY CAN'T IT GET ME OUT

 

[carpriver]

I had a junior NCO that worked for me while I was in the Air Force, A very intelligent young man; he was book smart, but he couldnot lead a lolly pop brigade if he has been the only sucker. He could not use the information he had in his brain to pour sand from his shoe. That is stupid.

 

[Chik a Boom]

If we learn by mistakes, I should be a genius by now.

 

[LAKOTA169]

This is my son. They just showed his motorcycle chase on TruTv again the other night. It was voted #1 for Dumbest Criminal. Wrote him up for being Stupid In A No Stupid Zone.

 

[HalfStack]

My friends tells me that I'm a genius but I didn't have the heart to tell them I'm not.

-me.

 

[crsides]

If you think higher education is expensive, you should try stupid.

 

[Tom K]

"did your parents have any kids that lived?"

i enjoy watching the wheels turning after that one...and it gets better if they answer by naming a sibling or 2.....but not themselves.

Careful who you ask that. My wife would have to answer, "Yes, myself and my sister. Our four brothers all died as infants."

Not funny.

 

[speedyquad]

Careful who you ask that. My wife would have to answer, "Yes, myself and my sister. Our four brothers all died as infants."

Not funny.

one of my 2 brothers was a still born...
take the nature of the question since you are talking to a child that survived....it is funny...

any one of these could be turned into a "politically incorrect" statement if said to the wrong person..i have 2 special needs/ persons with learning disorders in my family. while in college, for a time, i double majored in special education/secondary science education.

all of these insults could be miscontrued and get panties in a bunch, but obviously they are not because people realize what they are...

 

[rcnixon]

*You're...

The irony is just dripping out of the one above...

"Only two things are infinite; the universe and human stupidity and I'm not so sure about the former." A. Einstein

Russ

 

[Viss]

"He could'nt pour piss out of a boot if the instructions were on the heel"

My older Brothers' favorite saying.

 

[TJ1225]

"Don't go stupid places with stupid people and do stupid things!

 

[7tenz]

"If you gave a penny for his thoughts, he'd owe you change."

"Couldn't pour [rain] out of his boot with the instructions written on the heel."
Edit-Sorry Viss, I missed your post. Here's a replacement. "Every time he leaves the state, the average IQ of California jumps 2 points."

Farmer's quote:
"Dumber than a fence post"

 

[kraigwy]

The sum of intelligence on earth is a constant……..it's the population that's expanding.

 

[labworm]

Stupidity is also a gift of God, but one mustn't misuse it.

 

[Stephanie B]

"He's so stupid that if he had a clone, they could combine to become a half-wit."

The classic one from a Royal Navy fitness report: "In joining Her Majesty's Navy, this officer has deprived a village of its idiot."

 

[Old TexMex]

Couldn't organise a (manure) fight in a feedlot.

 

[7shooter]

From a 1960s Mensa newsletter :
" Intelligence is no guarantee against stupidity."

 

[MI-LPTroll]

"I support Barack Obama!"......if that isnt stupidity I dont know what is

 

[arch stanton]

If brains were gasoline, you wouldn't have enough to get a pi** ant's go kart two laps around a cheerio!

 

[gm272gs]

This happened to me this morning:

I was talking to a guy about going to the range, and he told me he had a new Smith & Wesson. I asked him "Semi-auto or revolver?" He replied; "I'm not sure, how can you tell?"

I'm dead serious. It took all the fiber in my being to not break out laughing.

 

[timn8er]

"He's so stupid he couldn't pour p*ss out of a boot with
instructions written on the sole!"

 

[ImprovedModel56Fan]

This happened to me this morning:

I was talking to a guy about going to the range, and he told me he had a new Smith & Wesson. I asked him "Semi-auto or revolver?" He replied; "I'm not sure, how can you tell?"

I'm dead serious. It took all the fiber in my being to not break out laughing.

What's funny? I just saw ANOTHER book by a succesful novelist who seemed not to know the difference. Even more embarassing, said writer was from Mississippi.

 

[longranger]

"Stupid should hurt", "dumber than a bag of hammers", "he's so stupid if his brains were made out of dynamite it wouldn't it wouldn't be enough to blow his nose"

 

[kcabear]

He ain't got the sense God gave a turnip!

 

[PA Reb]

"Stupid is as stupid does."

"Here's your sign."

 

[686_was_my_first]

Stupid is

Stupid is doing the same thing repeatedly, excpecting different results.

 

[beemerphile]

YOUR FREE TO GO
I love it...

Yes, if you told an idiot "You're free to go" he would have corrected your English.

 

[kozmic]

"If stupidity got us into this mess, why can't it get us out"? Will Rogers

 

[Steely Dan]

"That boy's about as sharp as a bowling ball"
"I keep pitchin' 'em and you keep missin' 'em"

"Nice mannered kid, just a little on the dumb side"

"That kid's about as sharp as a pound of wet liver"

"You're way off, I say you're way off this time son!"

"Nice girl, but about as sharp as a sack of wet mice"

This Quote is not about stupidity, but funny none the less...
"Gal reminds me of a highway between Forth Worth and Dallas – no curves"


Foghorn Leghorn