Once upon a time, there was a hunter that lived in the “lower 48.” He avidly hunted the game within his driving distance, but yearned to hunt big game... especially, the Alaskan grizzly bear. The hunter read all he could find on the big bears and started planning for the costly trip “up north.” His first decision was what rifle to buy, for while he had several hunting rifles already, none were appropriate for grizzly. He finally decided on the Winchester Model 70 chambered in .458 Magnum, a true “elephant gun” that should provide all the power he needed for grizzly. He spent hours loading ammo for practice and spent many a Monday morning rubbing a sore shoulder as a result of range practice with the brutally recoiling .458 Magnum. After years of dreaming and practicing, he’d finally saved enough money for his hunt of a lifetime. The day came when he departed his local airport bound for Anchorage where he was to catch a connecting bush flight to his guide’s camp the following day. On his arrival at the airport, he eagerly collected his luggage, rifle and other equipment, and headed out the terminal to the row of airport taxis outside. As he was nearing the exit, he noticed a newspaper dispenser and his eyes flicked up to read the headline: “HUNTER MAULED BY BEAR.” Our intrepid hunter stopped in his tracks, aghast at the news. Was it possible he’d made a mistake? Was he truly prepared for his upcoming hunt? He acknowledged with some self-satisfaction that the gun he’d chosen was certainly of sufficient power, but he still had some reservations. What if the sights were misaligned during the handling of his luggage? What if he lost the rifle while traversing a stream? What if the rifle, despite being completely reliable during its years of practice, chose now to break some part and malfunction? All these thoughts flashed through his head in a minute as he stood pondering the newspaper headline. “I know what I need,” he thought to himself. “I’ll buy a back-up gun, a handgun that I can carry under my coat.”
With this in mind, he climbed into the first available cab and instructed the driver to take him to the nearest gun store. On his arrival, he was pleased to see it was a large store, seemingly well stocked. He hustled into the store, dropped his bags by the door and approached the clerk. “I’m going hunting for grizzly tomorrow and I want a handgun in case my rifle fails. What do you recommend?”
The clerk looked the hunter up and down, then said, “I’ve got just the thing; follow me.” He walked down the display cases past the combat semi-automatics, the large-framed magnum revolvers, the snubbies and the plinkers until he’d reached the last display case. He reached in and brought out a Hi-Standard .22 derringer. “This is what I carry when I’m bear hunting,” he said as he offered it to he hunter.
“That little thing?!” the hunter exclaimed. “That won’t stop a bear!”
“It’s not for the bear, you moron!”
