Blonde Cookbook

[roundgunner]

Blonde Cookbook WARNING do not snopes this it may not be true!

It's fun to cook for Tom . Today I made angel food cake. The recipe said beat 12 eggs separately. The neighbors were nice enough to loan me some extra bowls.


Tom wanted fruit salad for supper. The recipe said serve without dressing. So I didn't dress. What a surprise when Tom brought a friend home for supper



A good day for rice. The recipe said wash thoroughly before steaming the rice. It seemed kind of silly but I took a bath anyway. I can't say it improved the rice any.



Today Tom asked for salad again I tried a new recipe. It said prepare ingredients; lay on a bed of lettuce one hour before serving. Tom asked me why I was rolling around in the garden..



I found an easy recipe for cookies. It said put the ingredients in a bowl and beat it. There must have been something wrong with this recipe. When I got back, everything was the same as when I left.



Tom did the shopping today and brought home a chicken. He asked me to dress it for Sunday. I don't have any clothes that fit it, and for some reason Tom keeps counting to ten.



Tom's folks came to dinner. I wanted to serve roast but all I had was hamburger. Suddenly I had a flash of genius.. I put the hamburger in the oven and set the controls for roast. It still came out hamburger, much to my disappointment.



GOOD NIGHT DEAR DIARY. This has been a very exciting week! I am eager for tomorrow to come so I can try out a new recipe on Tom . If I can talk Tom into buying a bigger oven, I would like to surprise him with a chocolate moose.




A blonde goes into a coffee shop and notices there's

a 'peel and win' sticker on her coffee cup.



So she peels it off and starts screaming,

'I've won a motorhome!

I've won a motorhome!'



The waitress says, 'That's impossible.

The biggest prize is a free Lunch.?'



But the blonde keeps on scr eaming,

'I've won a motorhome!

I've won a motorhome!'



Finally, the manager comes over and says,

'Ma'am, I'm sorry, but you're mistaken.

You couldn't have possibly won a motorhome

because we didn't have that as a prize.



The blonde says, 'No, it's not a mistake.

I've won a motorhome!'



And she hands the ticket to the

manager and HE reads...
(YOU'RE GOING TO LOVE THIS !!!!!! . I PROMISE !)




'W I N A B A G E L'

 

[roundgunner]

Blonde Cookbook WARNING do not snopes this it may not be true!

It's fun to cook for Tom . Today I made angel food cake. The recipe said beat 12 eggs separately. The neighbors were nice enough to loan me some extra bowls.


Tom wanted fruit salad for supper. The recipe said serve without dressing. So I didn't dress. What a surprise when Tom brought a friend home for supper



A good day for rice. The recipe said wash thoroughly before steaming the rice. It seemed kind of silly but I took a bath anyway. I can't say it improved the rice any.



Today Tom asked for salad again I tried a new recipe. It said prepare ingredients; lay on a bed of lettuce one hour before serving. Tom asked me why I was rolling around in the garden..



I found an easy recipe for cookies. It said put the ingredients in a bowl and beat it. There must have been something wrong with this recipe. When I got back, everything was the same as when I left.



Tom did the shopping today and brought home a chicken. He asked me to dress it for Sunday. I don't have any clothes that fit it, and for some reason Tom keeps counting to ten.



Tom's folks came to dinner. I wanted to serve roast but all I had was hamburger. Suddenly I had a flash of genius.. I put the hamburger in the oven and set the controls for roast. It still came out hamburger, much to my disappointment.



GOOD NIGHT DEAR DIARY. This has been a very exciting week! I am eager for tomorrow to come so I can try out a new recipe on Tom . If I can talk Tom into buying a bigger oven, I would like to surprise him with a chocolate moose.




A blonde goes into a coffee shop and notices there's

a 'peel and win' sticker on her coffee cup.



So she peels it off and starts screaming,

'I've won a motorhome!

I've won a motorhome!'



The waitress says, 'That's impossible.

The biggest prize is a free Lunch.?'



But the blonde keeps on scr eaming,

'I've won a motorhome!

I've won a motorhome!'



Finally, the manager comes over and says,

'Ma'am, I'm sorry, but you're mistaken.

You couldn't have possibly won a motorhome

because we didn't have that as a prize.



The blonde says, 'No, it's not a mistake.

I've won a motorhome!'



And she hands the ticket to the

manager and HE reads...
(YOU'RE GOING TO LOVE THIS !!!!!! . I PROMISE !)




'W I N A B A G E L'

 

[50 target]

WELL , you started it. Some of my blonde jokes and some of them have to do with cooking.

The blonde who cooked a turkey for 4.5 days because the package said to cook it one hour for each pound and the blonde said she weighed 108.

The blonde who didn't like M&M's because they were so hard to peel.

 

[jeepjeepwhat]

What are M&M's? If they are anything like the W&W's I'd probably like them.

 

[ArcticFox]

Stay away from the blondes, they can't cook...

 

[SmithEC]

I don't talk about blondes no more since one of them that lives next door to me gave me a Rolex just the other day.


.

 

[Ogandydancer]

You guys have posted these as jokes but, I once had a girl/young woman 22 or 23 working for me and the first time she baked a turkey for thanksgiving she scalded her arm almost up to the elbow because she thought you had to stuff the turkey after baking and while still hot and then continue to cook it till the dressing was done!! Hey she wasn't blonde she was a brunette.

 

[CAJUNLAWYER]

Marry one that can cook and is nice to your momma-cause when you get to my age those are really the most important things anyway

 

[rewster]

Hey Warren ! Against your advice, I checked with Snopes and every one of them is true, true, true

 

[rewster]

Originally posted by SmithEC:
I don't talk about blondes no more since one of them that lives next door to me gave me a Rolex just the other day.


.

Pray tell, what did you do to deserve a Rolex

 

[SmithEC]

What did I do? I tried to tell the story Sunday, but I think some folks got jealous of my good fortune.

For now, I'm afraid that you are once again in the dark.


.

 

[Jim Shugart]

Originally posted by SmithEC:
I don't talk about blondes no more since one of them that lives next door to me gave me a Rolex just the other day.
.

My blonde neighbor gave me a good:

- Jim

 

[keith44spl]

Originally posted by rewster:

Originally posted by SmithEC:
I don't talk about blondes no more since one of them that lives next door to me gave me a Rolex just the other day.


.

Pray tell, what did you do to deserve a Rolex

IIRC, He just said,'He want'd uh watch...'

________________________________________________________________________________________________

Warren,
I married a blond. For the first year her best dish was 'Sweet & Sour Spam' but, that along with 'everything else' it wasn't a half bad deal...

Su Amigo,
Dave

 

[BarbC]

When my blonde friend was first married, she wanted to impress her Italian mother-in-law by making baked ziti. She stuffed each and every little ziti.

 

[rewster]

Originally posted by BarbC:
When my blonde friend was first married, she wanted to impress her Italian mother-in-law by making baked ziti. She stuffed each and every little ziti.

Were they with or without lines

 

[rewster]

Originally posted by Jim Shugart:

Originally posted by SmithEC:
I don't talk about blondes no more since one of them that lives next door to me gave me a Rolex just the other day.
.

My blonde neighbor gave me a good:

- Jim

Don't start........

 

[kubi85]

Originally posted by Jim Shugart:

Originally posted by SmithEC:
I don't talk about blondes no more since one of them that lives next door to me gave me a Rolex just the other day.
.

My blonde neighbor gave me a good:

- Jim

Jim once apon a day Aegler made movements for both Rolex and Gruen. So you still received a fine watch.

 

[benmcc]

AN IRISH BLONDE IN A CASINO

An attractive blonde from Cork , Ireland arrived at the

casino. She seemed a little intoxicated and bet twenty-thousand Euros on a
single roll of the dice.

She said, 'I hope you don't mind, but I feel much luckier when I'm completely
nude'.

With that, she stripped from the neck down, rolled the dice and with an Irish
brogue yelled, 'Come on, baby, Mama needs new clothes!'

As the dice came to a stop, she jumped up and down and squealed...'YES! YES! I
WON, I WON!'

She hugged each of the dealers and then picked up her winnings and her clothes
and quickly departed

The dealers stared at each other dumbfounded.
Finally, one of them asked, 'What did she roll?'

The other answered,
'I don't know - I thought you were watching.'

MORAL OF THE STORY -

Not all Irish are drunks,
not all blondes are dumb,
but all men...are men.

 

[walkinghorse]

but all men...are men.

All of us that are married know that moral!